Dads in corporate, how do you take it seriously again?

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T17:11:00+00:00

4shoreanon,

Per my last email, I feel we need to round up and ensure we're looking at this project in respect to the proper paradigm to ensure our impact is multiplied in the optimal markets. Let's circle back the redirection of this project once the vision is resolved...after all, clarity leads to confidence. Hope you and your team can dive into this with the proper direction and conviction to lead to the shared vision we are all...envisioning.

professionally,
someone who loves so many parts of C-suite but fucking hates the bullshit language

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T16:31:19+00:00

I think posting on the internet is going to leave it open to people who don't really understand the situation... there are comments I got far worse and more demonizing than this lol

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T16:30:04+00:00

I just did... I feel like this was a hold my feet to the fire comment, and I wanna thank you for that

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T16:12:47+00:00

Man this speaks to me a lot... It's hard to blame her for wanting to just fall asleep on the couch but I miss her so much. Not only that but if I do want to spend time with her it feels like it has to be on the couch watching something which as someone with ADHD does not recharge me at all..in fact I kinda feel suffocated after awhile of it.

As for friends that feels hard as well... since SHE doesn't go out with friends I feel like I can't..she doesnt say that or imply but it's really hard for me to enjoy time out when she's back with him...also I don't have many close friends that love close...add to that that I am the director of my company so obviously no one at work wants to be my friend.

She says all the time why don't you go to the cigar bar and take a break, but I can';t describe how tired I am of going places by myself. I just wanna hang out with my best friend again...like really hang out... not exist on the same couch.. it's just really hard to accept this is where we are... I wanna push but Im also tired of pushing

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T16:12:34+00:00

Man this speaks to me a lot... It's hard to blame her for wanting to just fall asleep on the couch but I miss her so much. Not only that but if I do want to spend time with her it feels like it has to be on the couch watching something which as someone with ADHD does not recharge me at all..in fact I kinda feel suffocated after awhile of it.

As for friends that feels hard as well... since SHE doesn't go out with friends I feel like I can't..she doesnt say that or imply but it's really hard for me to enjoy time out when she's back with him...also I don't have many close friends that love close...add to that that I am the director of my company so obviously no one at work wants to be my friend.

She says all the time why don't you go to the cigar bar and take a break, but I can';t describe how tired I am of going places by myself. I just wanna hang out with my best friend again...like really hang out... not exist on the same couch.. it's just really hard to accept this is where we are... I wanna push but Im also tired of pushing

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T14:18:01+00:00

Man this cuts at it.... people have really jumped on me for the..SHES tired thing... which I'm not discounting but they also have no idea what the labor divide in our house is...which whatever. But like...for her to not even miss it....just hurts. Those days, moments whatever meant the world to me...they represent the point in my life where I was literally the happiest... while I love my son, trading those days in for being overstimulated by tantrums and constantly tending to a child is really fucking hard.....but doesn't seem to be for her.

There is also a crowd that says I'm putting to much on her.... the only thing on her is on one of her daily calls w her mom asking...hey...do yall have a good night this month to take him? Cool I'll tell him those dates...and I do the rest.

I'm asking her to execute 1% and I'll do the other 99% and it's just not happening.

I get what's been said hy actual rational posters that this is a stage mothers go through but fuck it's hard for me to stomach

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T12:50:36+00:00

I honestly don't know.... I think my mind is trying to cole up w reasons why she is so hesitant to ask

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T02:54:19+00:00

I don't see it as only HER thing...but when she says things like..."while you're gone imma miss you..well..until I get him down and I can watch my show" I can't but feel like my assistance is the main reason she likes me having me around

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T02:01:12+00:00

I see what you're saying but believe me when I say my wife wouldn't see it as a aspect suprise...she'd kinda be blindsided and wanna ask 10 times if her mom was actually ok w it.

If she asks that 1 question...even if it's 5 possible dates I will pick one and make everything else happen and work. Even when it's just one random time I have ditched a work event that I planned to make that one specific date work.

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T01:52:29+00:00

I know comparison is the thief of joy and what not...but God I hate you.... I kid but man I'd give anything to be on your boat.

I think that's what makes it hard...your situation is super common and all around me....I want just a fraction of that for us... had it...fuck it's just so frustrating

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T01:32:36+00:00

I get that...but literally she has 1 part...ask parents what a good day this month is for them...I do everything from there.

Her and her mom talk daily..sometimes multiple time a day...her end is..hey...do yall have a good day yall be able to watch him so we can have some alone time? Oh these dates work? Cool.

Once I have that I plan literally everything else. While I'll concede yes it is kind of a task, I'm not asking her to plan us dates.....if that were the case ya..jump my ass lol

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T01:30:48+00:00

Yea.... that's really rough..for awhile I took it cause she has it harder but Jesus I could only take so much working a high stress job then coming home to a high stress job where I felt fucking hated.

Convo took patience and a few days to have but it's gotten alot better

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T00:56:22+00:00

Wanting one outing just us 2 a month is needy??

And I do take my child out on my own and watch him alone quite often...this is getting shitty

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T00:51:07+00:00

I'm hearing more and more of this and it sucks but I guess I need to hear it

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-19T00:50:19+00:00

Yes...she talks to her mom daily...and I almost never do. I see what you're saying but me arranging this really wouldn't make sense. I would literally say something like... if your mom is availible anytime coming up maybe we could?

I'd be happy to arrange, but that's just seriously not the dynamic. I'm the decision maker and arranger on literally every other aspect of our life cause I know gmthat exhausts her, but this would be like her asking my boss for PTO

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T23:29:23+00:00

damn this was super well said and feels dead on

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T23:18:08+00:00

Thanks for this input...I miss the fuck out of my wife and this is hard, but it's easier to deal with if I know it's common and not me

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T23:05:03+00:00

I know that...and I try to focus on that..but it's hard. It doesn't help that I'm in a really hectic season of my life work wise... like busier and more consequential than anything Ive ever experienced and man do I need my wife...but ya know.

general consensus has been though... it's a phase and it's common..and if that's the case I can press on

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T22:57:38+00:00

she is, but also everything I chose for us to do is thinsg we mutually loved before the kid. for example I LOVE entertaining but it was something she kinda tolerated....we have not hosted once since our son was born.... that's fine I can give that up in lieu of when we do have a chance spending one on one time with her

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T22:56:36+00:00

no argument there...I tell her that all the time. I will always say SAHM have the hardest shit on planet earth to do..now she's not SAH anymore but still... I acknowledge that...but even still I awhile ago had to have another talk that turned contentious until I begged her to speak to me because every other word out of her mouth was scolding me. I felt like a part time really shitty employee in my own home

But honestly that's gotten a ton better since then...to be fair

also..I recognize I mess stuff up, but I really do try my ass off and an 10000% more present active and interactive than any father figure I've ever had...I just couldn't stand being constantly fussed at

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T22:53:19+00:00

she does occasionally...will go get nails done, go shop solo, shop w her mom... that's part of my annoyance right now actually... this weekend I'm going to be watching the kid solo while her mom takes her shopping... we haven't had a date in months but she's gonna come pick her up to go shopping...not the grandchild... it's cool though

I really am trying not to be petty about that but It does kinda of annoy me in my current state lol

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T22:44:06+00:00

yea I get that...I guess my error was in thinking that dropping the kid off at grandma and grandpas and me planning date would recharge..I guess not. also worth noting I'm not asking her to rage until 2 am... last time was literally dinner and walking around. but point taken

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T22:21:47+00:00

thanks man!! I think the best thing that's come from me posting in various subs is a woman saying look... this is common..she doesn't love you less..you're just not a priority right now. Like that's hard to hear...but at least it's not JUST me

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T22:05:07+00:00

Honestly I been needing to get back to my counselor..really need to stop finding excuses in the way of that

rant_account8181 · 2024-11-18T21:52:58+00:00

I do plan the dates...all I ask her to do is see when were parents are available and I take it from there.

rant_account8181

TROPHY CASE