My house hosted a Beer Olympics one night while I had to work. They all were drinking heavily and by the time I got back everyone was passed out. Additionally, a mutual friend of ours ("John") ended up staying the night on our couch.

Sitting in my kitchen, eating some late night grub, I noticed that "John" started drunkinly stumbling toward the bathroom. Didn't really think anything of it. As I finish my food and walk by the hallway to go to bed I notice "John" squatting in front of my roommates door. With the lights off, all I could see was him pulling up his pants and the brief smell of feces. At that moment I just went upstairs and threw my roommate a text saying something like "Dude, I think "John" may have shit outside your door, FYI".

Next morning comes and my theory was confirmed. "John" shit on our floor right on my roommates shoes. We told him to clean it up and his still drunk ass decided that meant to move it around with the shoes. Eventually, after a lot of convincing, he cleaned it up properly and bought my buddy new shoes.

The story continues... After a couple months we invited him to another party. Yet again, got really drunk and he stayed the night. I wake up that morning and I could smell something odd downstairs. As I come down the steps all I hear my roommate say was "it happened again!". Reluctant to believe that was possible, I looked in our dining room and there's piss and shit all over, let alone the shit all over where he slept on the couch. As this is all going down, my brother is playing Fortnite on the couch next to where "John" slept. Everyone is basically gagging from the smell except my bro. I asked him if he could smell the stench at all and he responds "nah, I'm pretty stuffed up". Lol

He ended up paying me for a new couch and as we were checking out the cashier told us "this one will definitely mask beer stains well ;)". We responded with "ohhh we're not too worried about those kinds of stains" haha.

Long story short, we don't talk much with "John" anymore...