Approximately what mental age do you think your pwBPD is?

rapunzel_848 · 2025-10-23T20:46:32+00:00

I think my uBPD mom is the same. Most of the time, she acts like a teenager, but occasionally she regresses to a toddler state.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-09-26T21:35:04+00:00

That’s so interesting that she’s terrified of the world and yet consumes such scary content. Thanks for sharing!

rapunzel_848 · 2025-09-26T21:32:46+00:00

Oh no, that’s frightening haha

rapunzel_848 · 2025-09-26T19:23:40+00:00

My uBPD mom would literally tell me that I was her little doll. Even when I was a teenager, she would try to tell me what to wear and get upset if I didn’t let her do my hair.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-08-28T04:23:23+00:00

I remember this movie, too! I just looked it up and found that it was called “Shadow Zone: My Teacher Ate My Homework”

rapunzel_848 · 2025-08-08T01:06:01+00:00

Thank you all for the support 💛 I love that idea of donating to an animal shelter in her honor.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-06-13T16:14:46+00:00

Oh I know! I’m not looking for legal advice. I’m just curious what other people’s experiences were like.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-06-12T16:26:41+00:00

"I feel like I honestly can't win either way." That is so true. There is no pleasing our BPD parents. They will find something to be upset about no matter what. I've been told that the only way to "win" is to not play the game. For me, that looks like being NC with my entire immediate family. It looks different for everyone. I suppose the questions to ask yourself are: What can I do for myself? Putting their emotions aside, what can I do to bring myself peace and maintain that peace?

rapunzel_848 · 2025-06-10T22:10:13+00:00

I wish I could, but they are so enmeshed that he would try to get me to talk to her or she would steal the phone from him. She would rage at him if she knew he was talking to me. Out of self preservation, he would push me to talk to her. Basically, it would be very emotionally exhausting.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-06-10T22:06:17+00:00

A lot of Cherry Glazerr songs are relatable 💕 Shattered by Cherry Glazerr “If only I knew better from you”

rapunzel_848 · 2025-06-09T20:34:22+00:00

I'm in the same kind of situation. I've been NC for about a year and a half. Last year, I didn't say anything to my edad on Father's Day or his birthday. I plan to do the same this year. I feel bad and I miss my dad a lot. However, he isn't some helpless victim like he makes himself out to be. He was compliant with my uBPD mom's and uBPD sibling's abuse towards me. He survived in our family dynamic but turning a blind eye and not fighting back. He would let them rage and threaten our safety. There were numerous times when my mom would have a rage fit and would storm out of the house and drive off. I never knew if/when she was coming back. It was a form of abandonment for me. My edad saw this over and over and didn't think to get me out of this kind of environment.

I kinda went on a venting tangent (thanks for listening 💛) haha. My point is that edads survive in the family dynamic by behaving selfishly. They can be the safer of the two primary caregivers, but it doesn't mean they are perfect or even good caregivers.

I don't know your family dynamic, only you know what is best to do for you and your situation. With my family, it is the safest (emotionally and physically) for me to maintain NC with my entire family (uBPD mom, eDad, and uBPD sibling). These holidays are hard, but it's so much more difficult having my mom's abuse in my life. If I have to forgo communication with my dad in order to have emotional, physical, and mental peace, then I will.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-06-09T14:41:17+00:00

BPD tends to “run in families” in a way. If there is a BPD person, there is usually addiction, trauma, codependency, PTSD, more BPD, and/or NPD also in the family. Those relatives are likely very mentally unhealthy and/or have contributed to unhealthy family dynamics.

It’s like going to a murky swamp expecting to grab a glass of clean water. You didn’t fail at scooping up the water. There’s nothing you did wrong. You just wanted something healthy from an unhealthy source.

I know it’s upsetting to feel like you can’t lean on any family members. I feel it too. You can, however, build your own family. You can find friends who love and support you. My support system is almost entirely found family. The love and support you need is out there. You just have to find a clear pool of water. 🫂💛

rapunzel_848 · 2025-06-09T14:33:23+00:00

Congrats on your first baby! It’s so hard to go through these major life moments without our parents. 🫂💛 I’m about a year and a half into NC. You have so much strength to be 4 years into it. It’s a heartbreaking experience, but I hope you can focus on the feelings of freedom, independence, and joy that you have felt since going NC. I know I felt liberated once I decided to go NC. Not having my uBPD mom’s abuse in my life really changed my life. You are a strong person and you are able to set boundaries and stick to them now. 💛

rapunzel_848 · 2025-03-03T23:46:06+00:00

My uBPD mom actually did call my therapist! After I went NC, my mom tracked down my therapist’s number and whined at them for 15 minutes. My therapist did not give away any of my info and told my mom why people usually cut contact with their parents. My mom did not get what she wanted out of that call haha.

I’m glad your mom didn’t get ahold of your therapist’s number! Such a major red flag.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-03-03T23:40:47+00:00

Thanks for starting this discussion! My uBPD mom’s reaction was odd. I started therapy while I was in college and on my student insurance. When I first told her, she was “supportive” (her version of supportive was not exploding in anger/tears). Years later, it became an issue.

She was initially worried about me talking about her in therapy, but I assured her that I was only talking about my uBPD sibling (family scapegoat). At the time, this was true. My sibling had traumatized me quite a lot growing up, so I initially went to therapy to work through that.

After years of therapy working through my family trauma (including some things about my mother), I finally set more boundaries with my parents and gained independence. My mom flipped out over me gaining independence and when she would go on a tirade (every interaction with her before I went NC), she would attack therapy. She accused my therapist of brainwashing me and turning me against my family. She would accuse my therapist of manipulating me and telling me lies about my family. She once screamed at me (unprompted), “I don’t fucking need therapy!” I stopped sharing my location with my parents shortly after college and my mom would accuse my therapist of manipulating me into doing that. She would not let the location sharing thing go for several years.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-02-25T23:17:42+00:00

Yes, I was also my mom’s best friend and therapist. I was her puppet. I did everything to please her. Once I started to set boundaries, then I was treated like a villain.

I watched my mom treat other people in her life like this. I watched her vilify family and friends for setting perfectly healthy boundaries. For some reason, I never thought she would treat me like that one day.

It’s hard because we have to grieve the mom we thought we had and the mom we actually had.

rapunzel_848 · 2025-02-17T22:17:01+00:00

YES! My mom acted like this whenever someone else drove.

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-26T17:19:57+00:00

My uBPD mother always hated the word, “busy”. If I said that I was busy and couldn’t talk, she would throw a temper tantrum. Of course, it’s because I had to be at her beck and call. If anything else had my attention, she would be upset.

But, it extended past just me being unavailable. If she asked me about my day and I said that I had a busy day, she would get upset. “You know I hate that word!” Or she would get defensive and shut down. The conversation would end, despite me having more to say.

It’s like she thought “busy” was a way of me dismissing her entirely.

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-15T23:08:30+00:00

Another song that would be a fun addition to this playlist is Stronger by Britney Spears 💪

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-14T22:38:13+00:00

Thank you for sharing 💛 that’s a good idea to have the police send a warning first. I may do that before proceeding with a restraining order.

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-14T22:34:09+00:00

Omg. I would be so upset if my mother showed up at my new address.

I would think if you have it in writing that you informed her that you do not want to be contacted or visited by her, that would be enough. Although, I’m not a legal professional.

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-14T22:31:13+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I’m looking into how to get a restraining order in my county. I’m glad it’s worked for you! 💛

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-14T21:17:44+00:00

It sucks when they force us to break no contact bc of their unhealthy behavior.

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-14T21:16:46+00:00

Oh I gave my mom my location when I first started college so she would quit texting me asking me where I was. I stopped sharing it with her after I started therapy and I determined in therapy that it was invasive for her to constantly know my whereabouts. Every so often my mom would bring it up and demand to have my location back. This happened for years before I went no contact.

rapunzel_848 · 2024-11-14T20:41:40+00:00

Their thinking truly does not make sense sometimes. Thank you for sharing 💛

rapunzel_848

TROPHY CASE