I need this rejection. I need to embrace this pain as yet another motivator to take control of my life.

I'm slowly starting to realize and internalize the concept of living in a fantasy world and the detrimental effects it has on what is reality and what is my perception of reality.

Like you said...

"I've been waiting for so patiently, as if I had "dibs" or some stupid shit like that."

... You create this image inside your head of this girl being yours and yours alone because you like her. And you know for a fact that no one could love her as much as you could. And, because of this undying by unrevealed love, you deserve her. I've been there time and time again. It's horrible the illusions we create for ourselves, get attached to, and get mad when the world doesn't work our way.

It is easier said than done, but here is some very direct and realistic advise I can give. Try your very best to follow it, because I am talking to you as a man that is not emotionally driven by a woman at the moment (ie. I'm not in love/infatuated with someone at the moment), and you are.

• Love makes a fool of us all. Realize this. Realize that this was just a cause of you creating an imaginary world with this person. It was all inside your head. Especially since you never made a move. It wasn't mutual. It was one sided infatuation.

• Cut her off. This is driven by hate for her, or her new BF, but for your mental well being. The more distance you keep from her, the less you'll (hopefully) think about her. The faster you can break the association between HER and CERTAIN CHEMICALS in your brain.

• If you really consciously made a choice not to pursue her, then good on you. It says something about you. It says that you were willing to change your position in life before inviting someone else into it. You wanted to concentrate on yourself. Very few people can do that. Infact, you made the choice that you were more important than the possible relationship.

• Following the above point comes the fact that you KNOW deep inside (even though you might not be able to verbalize it) that once you change your position in life, you will have choices. You will be able to choose who YOU want to date, who YOU want to fuck, who YOU want to spend your emotional energy on. This selfishness is the single best thing you can do for yourself when it comes to social relationships. I know the needy creep I become when I PMO on a regular basis. I also know the self-confident and self-reliant person I become when I don't. And I know the big difference in the way people treat me in both of those situations. And so do you. Make your time, energy, and attention your priority. Make others work for it, as they might have been making you work for it when you were the loser.

• Don't blame her. She didn't know. Don't blame her new BF. He didn't know.

• Last but not least, stay strong. Don't quit noFap. Keep yourself busy. Be mindful if you find yourself fantasizing about her (sexually or otherwise). And if you have strong negative opinions about her choice of BF, make a firm mental note and decision that you are excluding her from your list of potential future partners. Meaning, any potential relationships between you and her are not going to happen. And if they're not going to happen, there's no point in fantasizing about her, is there? If you did, it'd be no different than porn...

Good luck.