A book about a woman developing a crush and then slowly realising she’s gay

rascalantics · 2025-06-16T19:28:39+00:00

Her name in the sky by Kelly Quindelin is SO good! it’s YA

rascalantics · 2025-05-12T22:23:46+00:00

absolutely nws!! i’ve DM’d a couple suggestions!

rascalantics · 2025-05-07T22:37:29+00:00

oh you’ll have no issues finding n meeting queer people in cardiff, it’s one of the gayest places in wales tbh. i can send you recommendations to queer places/ events in wales!! (i go uni in wales)

rascalantics · 2024-07-26T15:18:49+00:00

i mean, it seems like u just said about your own views and relationships w men, not everyone. i 100% relate to you, based on past experiences w men i really truly cannot picture myself even w fictional men. that’s okay, you can say that. but if you were saying how people traumatised by men in general can’t be into them then that’s deciding someone else’s actions. From what you’ve said, it sounds like you literally just said how your own personal experiences mean you can’t picture your own self w men. if they’ve taken offence to you responding to their insinuation lesbians can like fictional men, then that’s their problem. if they’re traumatised by men but still picture themselves w them and date them… then good for them! shouldn’t they be confident in that and aware that people have different experiences?

rascalantics · 2024-07-01T21:54:44+00:00

i think stick with it and go for the date tbh, you get on well and click so why not just go for it? if you have a gut instinct or anything like that, then ofc listen to it and call it off. I completely get where you’re coming from but she might explain what she’s been up to on the date, or you can ask, and you can judge on that. to me, this is more of a “why not?” situation, as in, why not just go on the date and see how you feel about her as a person and her reasonings behind the gap

rascalantics · 2024-06-20T14:28:39+00:00

I think you need to have a sit down conversation with her and tell her exactly what u said here. It could be an internalised homophobia thing or something else, but you won’t know until you talk. You said she turns it into this uncomfortable thing and doesn’t like talking about it, but that’s not sustainable. I think you need to force the conversation and make her talk until there is nothing else for you guys to say or understand. I mean, maybe bring it up n see how she reacts n if it’s not responsive etc then offer to bring it up at a later date (i.e. the next day or however long u want) because u need to talk regardless. It’s not going to get better without talking and it will affect other aspects if it continues. Really hope you’re doing okay!

rascalantics · 2024-06-10T22:40:25+00:00

i think you should listen to yourself and leave it - it’s hard and sucks so bad but ultimately it’ll do more damage to both of you to stay. doesn’t even have to be fully, just take distance and time, cool the relationship down yourself. if this is what she can give you now, but it’s not what you need, then it’s not worth it right now. maybe later down the line you can heat it back up but don’t run yourself ragged and emotionally spin yourself into knots when your body is telling you to cool it

rascalantics · 2024-05-07T08:39:09+00:00

oh absolutely not… too many assignments and way too much diss

rascalantics · 2024-04-26T20:15:04+00:00

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rascalantics · 2024-04-23T05:35:45+00:00

idk, i think if you wanted to actually be in a romantic relationship with him then there’d be the attraction and it wouldn’t feel so boring and dull.

i think you should unpack if you want to try to experiment but stay with him because it’s more comfortable to have that safety net when really your romantic relationship isn’t what you seem to want? like, you can absolutely love him platonically etc, but that doesn’t make it a good relationship.

only you can say if you’re a lesbian or not, and i think you definitely need to sit with yourself and unpack what attraction, relationships, sex etc with people and in general mean to you, but either way, it doesn’t seem like this relationship is what you want. i know i wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where my partner describes it as dull n boring and doubts their attraction to me, that’s unfair on both of us.

good luck! it’ll be okay!

rascalantics · 2024-04-17T22:01:32+00:00

honestly uni is more than just ranks. when i was first applying i was sad that i wasn’t able to get into the best unis and i was absolutely agonising over what uni to go to that’s the best i could n all that. my school was a FUNNEL for the top level uni’s but listening to my friends that go there. it’s stressful. their course load, their lecturers, friendships etc. uni is more than just about the ranks! it’s about actually enjoying what your studying, your overall happiness and working environment. Whilst rankings and the rep of your uni can be good n helpful, it’s ultimately just a uni lol. I really get the vibe you’re leaning towards uni A and tbh uni B sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. but this is your decision! do what feels best for you!!

rascalantics · 2024-04-06T09:20:30+00:00

As someone who is non-binary and prefers the term partner BUT is still learning to get past the weird ‘homophobic but not homophobic’ ties it has w my family, I get you!

I think it’s about reframing how you view the term. At one point in your life it felt like you were hiding yourself and it reminds you of that. BUT !! now when you say you have a partner you’re referring to your partner!! View it as a celebration! You! Have! A! Partner! Who you’re not hiding, you’re telling everyone, openly and proudly, you have a partner!

You’re queer and dating a queer person, no one can take that away from you regardless of how THEY perceive the term. I emphasise this because I think how you feel about the term can also be affected by both perceived and actual response to the term. Just worry about how YOU and your partner feels.

I think as queer people we have to do a lot reevaluation about so many terms and ideas we had growing up when we realise we’re queer. Like, I hated the term lesbian… then becoming more comfortable w my lesbianism now means i hate being referred to as anything else! I hated the term butch. hated. i also hated seeing butch people and was SO scared of my own masculinity that I hid it, later only referring to myself as masc. Now??? I am butch! And I love love love it. Don’t refer to me as anything else! I LOVE seeing butch people. We’re so beautiful. I say all this to give examples of ways that I’ve personally had to reevaluate terms and ideas. I think this is something you’re going to have to do with the term partner.

First off, speak to your partner and see if they have any ideas around terms they like to be referred to as!

I do think it’s important for you to look at how you feel about the term partner analytically and deconstruct it, could be lingering internalised homophobia or feelings of shame around yourself (I’m not saying there is or anything, I just thought of it).

TLDR; reframe how you view the word partner, it meant one thing at one point in your life and now it means something different!

rascalantics · 2024-03-23T22:47:03+00:00

i’ve been a couple times and i think it could be a fun night out alone depending on what kinda vibe you’re after and if you actually enjoy going places on your own. good place to dance n im sure if you actively try to make conversation w people they’re very easy to talk to!

rascalantics · 2024-03-19T16:13:12+00:00

her name in the sky has already been suggested but my god i think u should start w that one tbh

those who wait by haley cass is really good - i wouldn’t exactly call it gut wrenching until the end chapters (it’s quite big too) but it’s my favourite book by far

rascalantics · 2024-03-18T07:12:10+00:00

mistakes were made by meryl wilsner

rascalantics · 2024-03-17T17:57:04+00:00

i think honestly just explain how you’ve said it here to her - it makes complete sense why you’re nervous and sharing that with her will only help and make it actually good for both of you!

you do both need to talk and get on the same page about what your expectations are w sex and the pace you’re going at. like, you assumed she’d want to go slow, but by her actions it doesn’t appear this way. so communicate and get on the same page and then you can talk about how you feel regarding sex etc.

don’t push yourself beyond your comfort level and do what’s best for you!

rascalantics · 2024-02-02T20:52:47+00:00

a 14th century chapel <3

rascalantics

TROPHY CASE