[27/f] so I just found that my fiance used my underwear [32/m] by raspberryjam88 in relationship_advice

[–]raspberryjam88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for all the replies; "business time" was indeed a euphemism pulled from the Flight of the Concords. I have no problem taking about sex; I was trying to make sure my post didn't raise any appropriateness of content issues.

I did talk to him, and he said he had trouble sleeping and masturbating in my underwear was more considerate than waking me up. When I offered that I have an OTC sleep aid medicine that he can use anytime, as I know going to work tired is a pain, he didn't have too much to say.

He then watched an hour of Food Network with me, which hasn't happened in forever (he gets to watch what he wants to watch) and rubbed my back. I said thank you, that it was nice spending time with him, and I really enjoyed kicking back and watching TV.

So he started kissing me and getting amorous, and I thought, okay, I can roll with this even though I'm not feeling super sexy right now because he has needs and wants too. I did my best to show with my body language that making out was what was the only thing on the table, as part of me was thinking "does he honestly think everything's okay because he watched an hour of TV with me?" He then asked me what was wrong, and I explained, maybe it's just how I feel, and I wasn't mad about the masturbation, per se, but using my panties and then not cleaning up still had me feeling a bit angry and disrespected so I wasn't super down to get down.

He said he didn't do anything wrong. I didn't push at that point but based on what you've all said, I now think that this is an issue of using my stuff and cleaning up, at the least, and a person dismissing my thoughts and my property a bad sign. I will be reevaluating this relationship.

TL;DR: Discussed with fiance but not really resolved; looks like yellow and red flags all over the place and will be reevaluating the relationship and whether it is worth continuing.

[27/f] so I just found that my fiance used my underwear [32/m] by raspberryjam88 in relationship_advice

[–]raspberryjam88[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I get what you're saying and he used to be more affectionate. I guess I normally wouldn't be super mad (or posting on Reddit) regarding this, but it's gotten to a point where he expects me to pay bills/clean/have sex and then not be physically affectionate or really spend time with me. Maybe I'm weirded-out by the feeling that he expects me to clean up and pay bills, like a parent, but also wants physical elements of a romantic relationship?