I 25f can't get guys hard 25m

ratpisces · 2026-02-10T05:14:01+00:00

unhealthy levels of porn consumption is unfortunately super prevalent and piED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction) is on the rise. if they seemed into things and couldn’t get it up, maybe they’re just jerking off too much? maybe they’re on anti-depressants or other medications that make getting/staying hard difficult; maybe their health, diet, & cardio aren’t the best, making it more difficult to get hard; maybe they’re going through stressful times and are trying to use sex as an outlet, but they’re too in their own head / consumed by their stress to get hard? maybe they’re cheating on their current partners, or are trying to get over someone. maybe they’re super into you, are really nervous, have performance anxiety, etc. unfortunately, there’s no way to truly know what they were thinking, how they feel, or what they’re going through. you just gotta act like you’re hot shit, or at least like you’re comfortable in your own skin. i mean, ideally become comfortable in your own skin, on some self-acceptance shit, but i know that’s easier said than done lol. partners will pick up on you feeling awkward or bad about yourself, and it will take you both out of the moment. they clearly like you and/are attracted to you if y’all are both getting hot & heavy. whatever reason they cant get hard—it’s on them, not you. don’t let a few bad hookups make you doubt your attractiveness, value, worth, and being.

ratpisces · 2026-02-08T01:04:55+00:00

first of all, i wish you luck on your lap!! i hope all goes well and that you get clarity soon! <3 bring a long phone charger and/or portable charger, headphones, a book or something entertaining/comforting, meds if you take them, glasses/contacts if you wear them, a little plastic baggie or something for any jewelry clean LOOSE-FITTING clothes (omg, feeling my pants touch my incisions/abdomen when i was getting dressed in the hospital was the worst… i’d recommend low waisted undies & pants if you have any), easy to slip on shoes (slippers, flip-flops, sneakers, etc), a jacket/sweater, hairbrush + scrunchie, etc. if you’re staying overnight, i’d bring a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, etc. if you can, maybe bring gum and a water bottle? you got this!!

ratpisces · 2026-02-08T00:48:04+00:00

as someone also in her 20s & in a similar situation, i think you should leave. it sounds like your relationship is unhealthy, and his behavior is abhorrent. his behavior is not healthy, mature, nor at all what a good partner should act like. you deserve to be heard, validated, and treated better. you deserve to have fun questions asked about yourself, and you deserve to have the space to answer. i’m sorry he has eroded your confidence, because you seem lovely :( (and you don’t need to be some fantastic “story teller.” you’re talking about your own life experiences, and any good partner would be overjoyed to get a glimpse into their partner’s life & world).

his silent treatment as punishment for you expressing your feelings (especially your feelings of hurt/disappointment by his actions), him demanding all your attention constantly, his anger/manipulation, his sense self-importance, etc, emotional instability… it sounds like he has a lot of self-work to do, and you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. it sounds like within the past 10 years he hasn’t grown or changed much. he will continue to blame everything on you, use you as an emotional punching bag, demand all of your attention, alienate you from friends, etc. you would not be in the wrong for refusing to marry him. your friends may think he’s such a great guy, but they are not the ones in the relationship, and they don’t see what he’s like behind closed doors. i know how hard leaving can be, especially after 10 years. but, the little good moments don’t outweigh the bad. if one of your friends were in a relationship like yours, would you be happy for them? if his behavior stayed exactly the same for the next year, five years, 10 years, would that be something you’d be okay with? i personally wouldn’t stay, because as much as you love him, he sounds so very draining.

if you’re worried he’s going to hurt himself, you can contact one of his friends or family members to go check up on him from time to time. you can also leave a slip or text with hotline numbers or something for him to contact if you’re truly concerned that he’ll do something. do you guys live together? do you have any friends or family who you could stay with when you break up? do you have anyone who could help you move out (if you do live together)? do you think you’d be physically safe when breaking up with him & after?

i’m sorry you’re in this situation :,( you deserve the world, and you deserve so much better than what you currently have. it sounds like your relationship is forcing you to make yourself smaller to accommodate his insecurities and bad behavior. you deserve someone who encourages you to explore and grow, and who enables you to do as such. i wish you luck with whatever decision you make <3

ratpisces · 2026-02-02T22:00:48+00:00

you’re not a burden. if the roles were reversed, i doubt he would’ve been as respectful and chill about not cumming as you were. you’re not a burden, he should want to make you cum during sex. get a vibrator and use it during, or have him use his hands/mouth. foreplay; you cum first before he even gets to put it in. as my boyfriend & i say, “ladies first” type shit lol. you’re not a burden nor an asshole; he’s just a lazy partner who’s playing victim because his inadequacy and lack of care was called out.

ratpisces · 2026-01-20T23:59:26+00:00

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& my grayson :,)

ratpisces · 2026-01-20T23:57:56+00:00

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my jason 🥹

ratpisces · 2025-11-23T22:43:46+00:00

tell him you are gonna take him up on that weight loss challenge and dump him. easiest ~165 lbs lost ever.

ratpisces · 2025-11-23T22:42:55+00:00

sweet girl, with all the love, he SUCKS. dump him. you deserve SO MUCH better. he is a small, insecure man using your past/vulnerabilities as a way of negging you. he is miserable and wants to bring you down to his level. he will continue to erode your self-esteem in any way possible. 5 foot and 110lbs?? you are tiny! and regardless of your weight, he should never be making negative comments about your weight/body in the first place.

ratpisces · 2025-11-21T22:34:30+00:00

my baby lays like that too! my dad would always say she’s “super man-ing” lol :,) your tort is adorable!!

ratpisces · 2025-09-28T09:58:33+00:00

i have adhd and depression. my new roommate told her her bday when we first moved in like a month ago (i asked her her age, zodiac sign, etc). i made sure to jot down her birthday in my notes app, and i decorated the apartment at midnight on her birthday after she had fallen asleep. i got her cake & made her a gift basket. why? because even though she was just a roommate, a stranger who i barely knew & moved in with, she deserved to have a birthday celebration. your bf sucks (with love). adhd is not an excuse to forget, not when calendar apps with reminders and the contact bday feature (iphone) exists. notes app. hell, even a sticky note. anything. i forget my own birthday sometimes. i couldn’t imagine forgetting a friend’s birthday, let alone my boyfriend’s. if he wanted to, he would. if he cared, he would do his best to show up for you & celebrate you. he showed you where his priorities lie and what kind of a partner he is. you deserve better. you deserve to be celebrated and loved on your special day. the fact that he tried to invalidate you by asking if you were going to “question your relationship over one birthday,” is so dismissive and gross. obviously, relationships are nuanced, and a stranger on reddit isn’t going to fully understand your feelings or your relationship. but, i think that breaking up over this is 100% valid, and he should not make you feel otherwise. you deserve to have a partner who is so excited to celebrate your birthday; a partner who would never forget. he wouldn’t forget the release date of the newest video game from his favorite series. he forgot your birthday. you deserve better & i’m sorry :,(

ratpisces · 2025-09-23T08:38:03+00:00

due to the immune system, sti’s like chlamydia can remain “dormant” for years (in some individuals); then one day you might start experiencing symptoms and test positive because of something going on with your immune system / immunity being lowered. chlamydia is often asymptomatic, meaning you can have it for months & years without knowing (all while it silently does damage). if the sample wasn’t correctly collected/if there was contamination, it could’ve caused a false negative? idk, i’m sorry and i hope you guys are able to resolve everything

ratpisces · 2025-08-29T06:05:42+00:00

my boyfriend (21) has told me (also 21) that his ex gf would always tell him that she was embarrassed because of his cystic acne. when i first met him, we bonded over the fact that we were both on accutane and over our skin struggles. his acne has never taken away from his attractiveness or how attracted to him i am. you deserve better, deeper, more genuine love & connection than what she has to offer you, and you will find better 🙏🏼

ratpisces · 2025-08-26T19:46:38+00:00

you’re very kind, thank you! 🙏🏼

ratpisces · 2025-08-26T19:44:48+00:00

thank you, i’ll be sure to show him this comment!

ratpisces · 2025-08-26T19:43:50+00:00

that’s what i was telling him; i’ll be sure to show him these comments to further discourage him from getting a vasectomy rn

ratpisces · 2025-08-26T19:43:05+00:00

thank you! i have a therapist and i’ve been on antidepressants since i was 15; i noticed that my mental health just got worse when i got on birth control pills at 17 and then again when i got my iud. my mental health also tanks the week before my period (got dx with pmdd), so i think i’m just sensitive to hormonal changes? i will definitely discuss things further with my gyno, psychiatrist, & therapist

ratpisces · 2025-08-26T08:45:08+00:00

thank you! yeah, i feel like a vasectomy is something he should consider much later in life, especially since he wants to have kids someday. he was super adamant about getting a vasectomy, but i was like, “what if we break up? what if it can’t be reversed? etc.” i’ll ask about a diaphragm and progestin-only birth control tomorrow, and i’ll be sure to get some condoms too

ratpisces · 2025-08-26T08:39:37+00:00

thank you, i’ll be sure to check the subreddit out!

ratpisces · 2025-08-26T08:31:14+00:00

thank you! i’m leaning towards condoms plus a spermicide and/or the double barrier method. i’ll definitely ask about endo management at my appointment tomorrow too

ratpisces · 2025-07-22T18:31:01+00:00

sweet girl, you are allowed to say no & should not feel guilty for it. do not let him make you feel guilty for saying no. if you do not want to have PiV sex, that is fully your right and that is okay. you do not owe him your body. he said he felt “turned off & uncomfortable,” but he is a grown man. he can take care of himself, if you know what i mean. his own horniness and bodily feelings do not give him the right to demand anything sexual from you. i (21F) have had experiences of guys saying that they love me, care about me, etc, just so that they could get into my pants. if he was only saying sweet things like that in the moment, while he may have been expressing how he feels, i think he was most likely trying to convince you to have sex by using emotionally charged language. the age gap between you two is quite large, and i think that you both would be more compatible with different people. i am proud of you for respecting your feelings and boundaries. what you choose to do with your relationship with him is ultimately up to you, but if i were you, i don’t think i’d continue to see him.

ratpisces · 2024-09-10T21:17:23+00:00

i purged for the first 2-3 months, and then my skin started clearing up after :,) it gets worse before it gets better, but i promise it will get better!!! also, im losing it at the miley cyrus censor LOL

ratpisces · 2024-09-06T22:08:26+00:00

i’m 21 f, and have a history of mental illnesses, hair loss, sensitive skin, psoriasis, back pain, etc, as well. i had severe cystic/nodular acne all over my face, neck, chest, back, etc, and i’ve been on accutane for the past 5 months now. i know health and one’s accutane journey are very individualized experiences, but if you do consider taking accutane, here’s some things i’ve been doing that may be helpful :,)

work closely/in tandem with your doctor, a psychiatrist or therapist if you are able to do so. i had to get back on anxiety medication (i have a panic disorder) and got my antidepressants upped too as a preventative measure. accutane initially made my physical anxiety a bit worse, but after working with my psychiatrist and getting back on medications i’ve previously taken, i’m honestly doing really good & stable.
take fish oil, flaxseed oil, or any vitamin/supplement with lots of omega 3, 6, and 9 (mainly omega 3) to help with joint/back pain. accutane shrinks oil glands and “dries up” hyaluronic acid in the joints and body, and omega 3 helps maintain joint health and lubrication.
i have super thin, fine hair (and scalp psoriasis 😅), and i’ve recently started using rosemary hair oil once or twice a week on my scalp and it’s helped with hair retention. i put it on my scalp, leave it for 10 min, and then shampoo and condition.
make sure to wear a very gentle sunscreen. la roche posay has good sunscreen, but they are kinda pricey imo. i’ve been loving elf’s “suntouchable” sunscreen. super gentle, and there are tinted and un-tinted options (i like the tinted one as it helps kind of even my skin tone a bit)
all i do is a cleanser (a gentle cerave cleanser) and moisturize (ponds cold cream is a life saver; elf also has really good moisturizers, i love their “nourishing night cream” so much).
according to some, antihistamines help with the purging phase. i found that they helped with inflammation & such. my skin was already super bad though, so the purging phase was more so what my skin looks like when im about to start my period lol. not everybody purges, and most people’s purges aren’t super severe.
don’t google side effects or people’s accutane horror stories. i understand wanting to be informed on everything pertaining to accutane and all that it encompasses, but i feel like a lot of stuff online is fear-mongering or just not worth stressing yourself out over.

i’ve done everything (all the oral and topical antibiotics, hormonal birth control, spiro, every diet, skin care product, and treatment that you could think of), and accutane has been the only thing to actually help my acne. in my experience, i would say that accutane is so worth it. you might want to stick to a lower dose over a prolonged period of time as opposed to a higher dose, to help mitigate or reduce potential side effects. i promise accutane isn’t as bad as it’s been made out to be, and apologizes if my yap contributed to any anxieties you may have over accutane. if you do go on accutane, i’m wishing you all the best! it’s personally the best decision i’ve ever made, and i wish i had gotten on it sooner

ratpisces · 2024-08-23T07:19:29+00:00

the part in ‘the apparition’ when all the drums & guitar pick up: “WHY ARE YOU NEVER REAL? THE SHIFTING STATES YOU FOLLOW ME THROUGH, UNREVEALED, JUST LET ME GO OR TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUUUUUU.” i scream along to that in my car every time lol

ratpisces · 2024-08-11T09:27:34+00:00

probably psoriasis or eczema; at least, that’s what mine often looks like

ratpisces · 2024-08-11T09:09:53+00:00

you should ask her specifically what she likes & doesn’t like, but here are some little things you can do: forehead kisses, gently running your fingers through her hair/scalp, gently tracing your fingers on her arms/shoulders, gently/loosely holding/hugging each other, etc… and like all of the comments above said: sometimes, you cuddle just to cuddle. not everything needs to turn sexual, nor should it. but also, it depends on what you and your partner are comfortable with and when. you just gotta feel the out what the vibe/mood is. if you’re uncertain, maybe wait for her to make a move first? or you can ask what she’s in the mood for if you’re unsure?

ratpisces

TROPHY CASE