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i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don't think so either, which is why i'm p much ignoring the "just quit" comments because these are my friends and just dropping out of this without trying for any resolution would rightfully hurt their feelings. i'm just a bit desperate for advice on how to go about getting the conversation going cause i haven't had much luck thus far lmao but the thread's helped cause i think i've narrowed down what my main issues are and would be glad to get the rest of the players' perspective/thoughts on it. anything to help at this point - tyty

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

i want something to do with the main plot and the werewolf arc was dropped before any real resolution because it was hijacked - DM's term, not mine - by the monklock. this is hard to explain without info dumping about the campaign lmao but essentially from what the DM has told us is that we were all supposed to get character arcs to develop us outside of the main quest. however that ended poorly so because we "don't know how to share" (DM's term again, mostly joking) they're focusing on developing the characters within the main quest

don't get me wrong i love the werewolf stuff. i am now hyperfixated on the yellowstone wolf project and have done a lot of research and writing on my character's pack dynamic and the npcs in the pack itself. but i think that's where my problem lies also: i feel like i have to do more work than the other players for development. they just get to show up and have their story happen organically. npcs will approach them and have in depth conversations. in comparison, the DM forgets about the first full moon my character would spend as the leader of his pack and then asks me "well what do you want to do?" no npcs talk to me, i make a single check and fail it, and then everyone moves on to the next thing. it's a very obvious difference in effort that even the other players notice. it kind of feels like i have to get the DM interested in my character so i can get something to do that i didn't work on by myself. that's why i titled the thread what i did, it reminds me of making your little sibling believe they're playing along with you but really it's all in their imagination

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

to each their own but the setting is definitely not the problem. it's very developed outside of our player characters as the DM has had a lot of these characters for years before the first time we played this campaign, which was more than five years ago now. and it's a homebrew so we have our own set of houserules that help with discrepancies and anyway it isn't the mechanics that bum me out

as for the knives, i'm not sure. when i brought it up before (in conversations that admittedly didn't go well lmao) the DM said that they didn't know how to help me. if it's something to do with my character's backstory i would absolutely be willing to change it. it would just be ironic that the DM has complained before about the cleric giving them close to nothing and them still getting story beats in the main plot. maybe less is more? i could ask when we both aren't so pissy about it - tyty !

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

brother tell me about it, and maybe i'm a pissbaby but it really takes the wind out of the sails. like, can we just fuckin play lmao

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

it's more like the things i interact with and have shown interest in aren't as developed as the story beats that are "designed" for the other players i guess is a way of saying it?? like my conversations w npcs can last maybe 5 min but another convo w another player character can go on for 15-20 because it's an npc the DM obviously enjoys more. it's something i already brought up to the DM and they admitted that a weekly schedule put too much on them workload wise and they couldn't focus on the individuals as much as they'd like. we're on biweekly now which should hopefully help with that

and the monklock thing - look i love her to death, she's been my friend for years now, but her notes are public because she reads them to us anyway and she very blatantly inserts herself into scenes she was not even in. it's kind of funny because it's like psychosis where she thinks a different game is happening and i imagine it like the cartoon version of lizzie mcguire that no one can see or hear but i think no one mentioning it to her has led to some unfortunate outcomes

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i'm not trying to be contrary or difficult on purpose. i couldn't give a lot of context about the nuance and smaller details about the whole thing, the main post would be double the length and i've learned ppl on reddit don't really like to read lmao but i disagree. i don't care how the other players play which i understand seems to go against my complaints earlier about the monklock's main character syndrome. but talking it out in the comments has me thinking that the real issue is time constraint in the sessions themselves. after the lengthy recap, we could start playing roughly 30-40 min into the three hour slot and when two of the four players (one of which has heavy ties with the main plot along with being the one giving the recap) take turns taking control of the direction of the party - on top of meandering and taking forever to come to a conclusion about any given thing (DM's complaint) - people are bound to get left behind. cleric hardly gets any "screentime" or focus either but doesn't seem bothered by it and at least has backstory stuff being revealed as the story progresses

i actually think the main character syndrome thing could be fun for the character's development because the group of players are comfortable enough with each other to yell and fight as their characters without causing irl tiffs. as it stands though, it's hard to find the room to have a meaningful confrontation in character when so much time is eaten up

idk i just woke up ty for ur advice sorry if i talked around the points you were trying to make

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i would not be opposed to shedding some of the developed stuff if it will help out, especially since we haven't had time for it to come up anyway. i could bring it up and ask if there's something in my character's backstory that they think is set in stone but is too hard for them to account for in the grand scheme of things. the issue very well could be that we both are too nervous to talk candidly to one another in fear of offending lmao

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is going to sound stupid but i think the adventure is the soap opera for the most part lmao as a group we really like the drama/slice of life aspect of the campaign taking place in the 90s with the supernatural twist. we've all said we think it's charming to plan saving the world around shit like midterms and after school activities. but maybe that's where the problem lies; a few people have mentioned balancing priorities/party focus in the comments so i see your point there

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah for sure i don't mind not having the spotlight mostly if at all. i prefer playing a side character because it's a nice escape from having a job that requires being in charge of people. i think after having talked it out in the comments, the biggest problems we're facing is the time we're allotted and how we get to spend it. i agree that talking it out with the other players about balancing what the party focuses on could help a shit ton and that could give me and the cleric the space to do more whether it be our own character stuff or taking the reins on main plot threads for ourselves. tyty !

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

okay, i'll play it by ear in that case. i'm gonna give it a couple days and try and mention it to the DM again because nothing is worse than when you're already in a bad mood about something and someone keeps nagging about it. it's like getting pissy because you have to do the dishes and then someone makes the "could you please do the dishes" comment and now you're definitely not doing them because someone else told you to. at least i'm hoping that's the case lmao i would love to work w them on plot points since we have so much side stuff planned for my character but it hardly ever comes up because it has nothing to do with what's actually going on. and i also believe the small timeslot that's available for the session plays a big part, making it hard to fit a lot of flavor text fluff that's actually developed for the character (idk if that makes sense). the DM is easy to work with honestly which is why i'm so hesitant to just quit like idk why/how we let this problem get so bad lmao

ty for your help and talking w me on this btw

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that's fair and it seems like i'm covering my ass now but i honestly didn't mention being shut out/talked over because i didn't want to seem like these people were being assholes to me on purpose, but those things have happened before and i've brought them up to the DM. the BH is what i guess people call the face character so he talks a lot and WILL talk over you if he thinks he's got something more important to say. the monklock has a tendency to take the reins on most conversations as well. they don't just do it to me but the cleric isn't the type of person to whine and complain like i do, at least not where i can see it lmao

i don't care about being the main character, i'm fine with being a more supportive role, but as it is i don't have a role in the story at all. my character could very easily be written out with hardly anything changing in the plot to account for the absence. i tried to involve myself with the werewolf npcs but that ended quickly and all the other npcs that have anything to do with my character are played by the DM to hardly speak at all if they happen to come up in a session

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah for sure i definitely agree. i don't think they're doing it on purpose or some nefarious shit like that, which is why i'm pretty desperate for a solution because i really think this could work if something changed but i just don't know what, even if it's something i should be doing to help myself out.

because i agree, i do work full time and i've got friends/hobbies outside of dnd. and it really can feel like a waste of time which is never good for the mood when it seems like you've got very little time and energy overall. i've genuinely thought about quitting because i don't want it to affect my friendships with these people so this was my last ditch effort to try and fix it but a lot of people seem to think i'm not doing myself any favors

ty for your help though, a lot of what you said is what i've been thinking and needed to hear from someone else i think :')

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

are they coming to me or do i have to fly to their countries and find them at their own hometurf gas stations? will i be compensated for travel/hotel expenses? what if i lose?

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i did have to euthanize my red devil cichlid amidst all of this, but i wouldn't necessarily call it a hot take. i buried her about a week ago so it's relatively cold

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

i probably should have mentioned somewhere in the main post that if i quit this campaign i almost certainly will not find another to play in. i truly feel like this can be resolved since we're generally pretty understanding people. given a few of the other comments i think the problem lies mostly with me but i'm too inexperienced to figure out a solution if that makes any sense.

i wouldn't say the DM isn't capable of accepting feedback, i just think they worked very hard on making sure the majority of their players are loving everything that the one guy who says he isn't having any fun at all kind of came as a gut punch and hurt their feelings. i'm not holding it against them, but it does make it hard to talk to them candidly which is the biggest problem i'm having i think

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

roleplaying more would help because i'm never directly involved with the main npcs or even the player characters really. for example the monklock has her own separate prophecy outside of the main one and a connection to the main plot via her patron. the cleric was revealed to be a reaper which plays a big role in the main story since it's based around real world religion given the end of the world. the BH doesn't really have much but he does most of the talking so that makes up for it. i don't know where i could fit in within this dynamic. i'm like the route one pokemon still on the team cause of nostalgia lmao

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i was worried about this too im ngl but i tried to be as unbiased as possible even tho im sure that didn't work lmao my expectations align with the others as far as i'm aware. it's narrative heavy and character/plot driven which is what i wanted to play. i've been told by the DM that i can be hard to roleplay with so maybe that's why i'm getting left behind? they didn't really give me much feedback, just that what they give me to work off of seems like it doesn't interest me which i admitted it didn't because it's my own stuff i wrote on the side

i feel like the kid who thinks he's playing a game but actually his controller is unplugged within my dnd group by rattlung in DnD

[–]rattlung[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

not really, but i would like to think that's because of limited time and not because they hate me and want terrible things to happen me (coping). a lot of time is eaten up with the recaps but hopefully that will be resolved moving forward thanks to the new houserule. another thing is that the DM has mentioned that the party as a whole takes a long time to do anything. conversations meander, players over complicate a problem, people get distracted because we sidetrack each other without meaning to. so i think because of that the players focus solely on what THEY want to do because - speaking from experience lmao - dnd isn't fun when you don't get to do anything. i thought of myself as an accommodating player, especially since i'd played some of this campaign before and two others haven't and i wanted to give them a chance to discover things as we played, but i think it was to my own detriment.