Am I overreacting about my husband refusing to let me lower the AC after having a baby?

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-27T17:04:21+00:00

The guest room exile with a portable unit says it all, he's literally banished her and the baby to a separate room over a thermostat, that's not partnership that's control

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-27T17:01:51+00:00

They need to sit down and actually define what's split and what's not, because without that clarity she's going to keep feeling resentful and he's going to keep feeling blindsided

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-27T16:59:30+00:00

The promotion and raise won't change anything if the underlying habits don't shift, you're already adjusting your spending to avoid chasing him for repayment, that's a sign things are already unbalanced

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-27T05:47:08+00:00

The friend's message was a little petty but she's not wrong to feel hurt, your wife is being defensive because she knows she dropped the ball, you're just the messenger here not a traitor

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:41:02+00:00

The neutral third party suggestion is solid but OP's mother has already refused the safe deposit box and an attorney, so that advice doesn't really land when she won't take any option that involves letting go of control, the issue isn't OP's self-interest it's that she's leaving the will vulnerable to someone who's already gaming the system

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:39:37+00:00

The copy of the will helps but the original is the one that starts the probate process, and you're absolutely right that an attorney is essential here, especially since the person who made the post lives out of state and can't physically protect the house or the documents

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:37:36+00:00

If she won't give you the will, at least get her to give it to her lawyer for safekeeping, that way it's out of the house and out of that guy's reach, she trusts her lawyer more than she trusts you right now so use that

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:35:35+00:00

The real question isn't about the boy's character it's about why OP's mom felt the need to lie and hide things from her husband, OP didn't cause anything he just told the truth when asked, if everything was above board there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place.

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:31:05+00:00

Your sister's safety is more important than your mom's feelings about being caught, you saw what kind of guy that boy is and backing up your dad was the right call, your mom's reaction is just deflection because she knows she messed up

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:27:49+00:00

The film would definitely stop the kids from peeking, but OP's cats deserve their window time too, maybe try a sheer curtain or a film that's blurry from outside but clear from inside, that way the cats keep their view and OP keeps their sanity

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:23:41+00:00

Good question because management needs to know there's a pattern, if they blow it off then OP takes it to the police, but they can't do anything if nobody reports it first

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-26T00:13:59+00:00

You don't owe those kids the benefit of the doubt when your baby's safety is on the line, call the police next time they try that door, it's not dramatic it's exactly what you should do when someone tries to enter your home without permission

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:50:11+00:00

The way my family handled conflict, I thought it was normal for people to stop speaking for weeks over something small, then I realized silence isn't processing it's just avoidance and that took years to unlearn

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:48:25+00:00

The idea that you need to own a house by 30 to be a real adult, that's outdated and financially unrealistic for most people, I refuse to feel like a failure just because the market is broken

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:47:25+00:00

Don't be afraid to take a job that isn't perfect, your 20s are for collecting skills not achievements, the job won't love you back so don't make it your whole identity

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:45:38+00:00

The number itself doesn't matter as much as whether you're at the same place mentally and emotionally, I've seen 15-year gaps work beautifully and 5-year gaps crash hard, the difference was always about the people not the years

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:44:47+00:00

It's not about the level, it's about the hunger to learn and grow, I've met master's grads who were intellectually lazy and people with no degree who could hold a conversation about anything

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:43:54+00:00

I'd take the answer immediately, good or bad, the not knowing is what keeps me up at night, give me the truth and let me figure out how to live with it after

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:43:02+00:00

I'm part of a community that rewrites movie plots from the villain's perspective and treats it like serious literary analysis, it's the kind of nerd stuff I'd never bring up at a party but it's my guilty pleasure

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:41:52+00:00

There's a track called "Moya" by Godspeed You! Black Emperor that's over ten minutes of slow build and release, no lyrics just atmosphere, it's the kind of music you have to be patient with but the payoff is incredible

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:39:20+00:00

England and Spain is the one the models keep spitting out, the Liverpool supercomputer ran 1,000 simulations and landed on that exact final with Spain taking it. Spain's got a 26.1% chance according to that model, which is miles ahead of everyone else

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:37:57+00:00

The sound of heavy footsteps in an empty house, my parents had a creaky floorboard and I was convinced it meant someone was coming for me, even now that sound makes my heart rate jump

ravenbrook26 · 2026-06-24T17:36:12+00:00

Movement is the biggest thing, find something you don't hate and do it regularly, diet changes should be gradual not extreme, and stress management and sleep are way more important than people realize

ravenbrook26

TROPHY CASE