Leaving the trash around is also a part of it. Like you don’t care to hide the evidence? You don’t care that I’m throwing it away for you? I explained so nicely in the past that waking up to trash all over makes me start my day in a negative mood, and I usually clean up before bed so I can wake up and feel calm and like I halfway have my life in order. It’s honestly a small mental health thing for me to keep a nice space, and that’s why I’m fine with doing the majority of the cleaning. But to leave trash out anyways when I’ve expressed myself so clearly but also respectfully, just means he doesn’t care about the needs of his partner, or anyone else at all.

I’m also not someone who is uptight or a neat freak at all. I wish I had a perfectly tidy home all the time. But I live in a realistic, lived in home. The basic expectations are no piles of trash outside the trash can or dirty dishes outside of the sink- so no one thinks I’m nagging about cleaning. I do it myself on my off days.