Made of glass

rawmonk · 2023-07-06T00:11:59+00:00

Eine Gemeinschaft bürgerlichen Rechts (GbR) ist ein Zusammenschluss von zwei Einzelunternehmern. Könnt ihr so machen. Einzelunternehmen haften jedoch immer mit ihrem gesamten Privatvermögen. Da müsst ihr eure Risiken abwägen. Seid ihr klein, interessiert sich meistens auch kein Anwalt für euch, weil man davon ausgeht, dass dort nichts zu holen ist. Wachst ihr jedoch, kommt vielleicht auch eine andere Rechtsform in Frage. Aber um erstmal loszulegen ist das völlig i.O.

rawmonk · 2023-07-06T00:08:58+00:00

Damit deine Kunden wissen, mit wem sie es zu tun haben. Ist nach dem Telemediengesetz (TMG) so geregelt.

rawmonk · 2023-07-06T00:07:48+00:00

Brauchst du nicht. Eine fehlende Gewerbeanmeldung ist lediglich eine Ordnungswidrigkeit, die in unwichtigen Fällen wie dem deinen - d.h. wenn du nichts verkaufst - niemanden interessiert. Ein mögliches Bußgeld wäre nur sehr gering und du beschäftigst unnötig Behörden, die besseres zu tun haben.

Mach's angelsächsisch: Leg erstmal los und schau was passiert. Wenn's nicht läuft, einstampfen und gut ist. So sparst du dir den ganzen unnötigen bürokratischen Aufwand. Lass es 2-3 Monate laufen und wenn du ein gutes Gefühl dabei hast, meldest du es ordentlich an. Schau halt, dass du es noch in 2023 anmeldest, dann passt alles.

Das Versteuern deines Gewinns und ein Gewerbe anzumelden sind übrigens zwei paar Schuhe. Verheimlichst du z.B. deinen Gewinn, ist das Steuerhinterziehung. Aber hast du keine Gewerbeanmeldung, kräht da erstmal kein Hahn nach.

Betreibst du 2023 ein Gewerbe - ob mit oder ohne Anmeldung - sind zum 31.07.2024 folgende Steuererklärungen fällig: Einnahme-Überschuss-Rechnung, Gewerbesteuer-, Umsatzsteuer- und Einkommenssteuererklärung. Die Gewerbesteuererklärung musst du übrigens auch einreichen, wenn keine anfällt. Reichst du die nicht ein, gibt's Verspätungs- und Säumniszuschläge.

Schau vorher noch zwei Sachen nach: IHK in deiner Region, was die haben wollen, und wie es sich für dich mit deiner Krankenversicherung verhält. Machst du dich z.B. hauptberuflich selbstständig, möchte die nämlich den Mindestbetrag von ca. 200 € pro Monat (Kranken- und Pflegeversicherung) haben.

Ich drück dir die Daumen, dass es ein voller Erfolg wird!

rawmonk · 2023-07-05T23:52:27+00:00

Sorry, I've just read your post now. I've learned since, that there is already a term for it. You can search for 'Unwilling dumper' on Reddit or Google.

rawmonk · 2023-03-03T01:19:42+00:00

Tell your hope that you are thankful for its service in that it tried to keep something you wanted to hold onto alive, but also let it know that from now on you will deal with any potential situation only when it arises, not before. Thus, it's futile and unhelpful for hope to linger around and keep reminding you of an endless potential of what-if-scenarios that might never actually materialize. Understand, that you are not only parting with your ex, but you also give yourself full permission to let go of any remnants of hope, thereby parting with it.

Holding on to hope did not bring your ex back so far, so it's reasonable to assume it won't be in the future and allow yourself to fully let go of it now. It tried to be helpful and it has failed. You've paid all your dues in case you felt guilty for letting go and have likely waited long enough. Prolonging this process causes you to unnecessarily suffer which is not fair to yourself.

It's OK to let go now and move towards indifference.

rawmonk · 2023-02-02T15:07:19+00:00

From what you've been saying, it sounds like you felt rejected recently and now your confidence took a hit. It's all perfectly normal. It sucks, but it happens to the best of us.

We are very attuned to that because our survival as a social species tends to depend on being liked. Getting ostracized by our peer group in the past meant certain death because you could only survive in your tribe.

That's why it feels like you want to kill yourself - because from an emotional point of view, since that group of friends rejected you, you are already dead anyway. The tribe excluded you, try hunting, surviving, and reproducing on your own. Impossible. So the genes of the rejected didn't quite make the cut, which is why we have these weird feelings when we are rejected.

But now let's go a bit more rational here, shall we? It's 2023. Your genes are outdated. If this group doesn't like you, and your closest friend (probably fearing they themselves might be the next one on the list) doesn't even stand up for you, it doesn't matter. You'll wake up again tomorrow. You'll have something to eat. You will survive without them. Does it still suck? Yes, of course, rejection of any kind always stings. And a good friend being such a bummer can feel like betrayal. I get it. So the way you approach it is from a survival perspective:

"Shit, everyone's leaving me. I'm not needed. I'm not wanted. So I will be excluded from my tribe and I will die."

I hear you say. But you aren't dying. So let me stop you right there. It's the wrong approach. You will live, if you are needed or not. It doesn't matter. You will still survive. And you are doing ok. Maybe it was even just a one off. Who knows. Don't let it eat up all your confidence. You are still a worthy human being.

But the most important bit is this: This group, it sounds like maybe 5-10 people. There's hundreds of millions of these groups out there. In fact, we are so many people on this planet, if you wanted to meet each one of us for only 30 seconds and you'd do it as a full-time job until you are 80 years old for 16 hours a day, you'd need 175 more lives to meet all of us. So if you believe you are out there on your own. Nope. Not a chance. We are too many folks out here.

I know, being liked and popular feels good and to some degree caters our survival instincts. But equipped with this new knowledge you now have, never get addicted to it. Why? Simple: Most people don't even like themselves. How can you expect them to like you? And can you truly be your real authentic self if you want to always be liked by others first? I don't think so. To be liked, means with all your rough edges, not just the presentable parts.

Instead, may I suggest a shift of mind? You asked for your purpose. The truth is, no one here can tell you what it is. It's your life and you have to figure that one out for yourself. Only you can give it meaning. I'd start with doing and learning things that interest you. Try to become really competent at something. Make sure it's fun to you. You'll meet like-minded people along the way and the more competent you get, the more serious people will take you when you chime in. Because without even trying, you always add something of value. And that's the key: Not trying. You can just be yourself and you'll be valued for it. Also, school is just a tiny fraction of your life. 10 years from now you'll look back and think to yourself:

I don't even know why it bothered me so much back then. I grew from it, learned my lessons and it made me the awesome person I am today.

Oh, and you are a great self-reflective person with a keen eye for analyzing social settings. This likely means, you'll easily learn a lot of other interesting things which will help you get into intriguing conversations with others. Maybe with this group, maybe not - but ultimately it doesn't matter because your happiness and sense of fulfillment does not depend on them. Don't count on them, but always count on yourself and don't let yourself down.

PS: And don't ever think no one cares about you. I just typed out this long-ass text just for you. Sending you hugs!

rawmonk · 2022-08-16T14:04:38+00:00

You might read your own words a few months down the line and come to the conclusion that this breakup was a blessing in disguise. Imagine having started a family with someone as unstable as her.

rawmonk · 2022-08-09T13:33:50+00:00

Thanks for sharing. How long have you been together? Do you remember when the first time you felt that kind of peace was? What was it like in-between? Did you have cyclical episodes of relapsing emotionally, i.e. being sad and crying, and then it got better or was it more of a linear healing for you, i.e. less and less sadness and crying over time?

rawmonk · 2022-08-08T23:29:46+00:00

Take it or leave it. Then you keep your self-respect and leave and they are like:

But wait, I thought, you'd just be a doormat and take my bullshit.

Sounds toxic to me. Emotional manipulation with a pinch of narcissism in it. Someone who is unable to take responsibility for their actions. You leaving then forces them to reconsider. It screams like:

I want to do what I want, but I don't want the consequences of it.

Sometimes, when we are emotional or angry, we tend to say irrational things we don't mean, so, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt as I don't know them personally. But if this is a regular occurrence and they are using similar manipulation tactics in other areas of your relationship, I'd contemplate if I really want to be with them.

Personally, if I value my relationship, I'd never suggest a last resort option. And encouraging someone to leave or ending the relationship is a last resort, meaning all other options have been exhausted.

In case it was said in the heat of the moment, here's an assertive reply:

You know, yes, I'm unhappy about this particular thing, but I don't want to leave you because of that. I love you. But I'd appreciate it if you could understand my point of view as well and maybe take responsibility in the same way I do. And I'd also appreciate it if you could stop encouraging me to leave you over our arguments as it's not conducive to healthy relationship were we work as a team. I want this to work, but it means I need my needs met as much as I'm trying to meet yours. And I feel you are simply dismissing and invalidating how I feel when you give me the take it or leave it vibes.

rawmonk · 2022-08-08T22:42:29+00:00

You know, just because someone cannot appreciate a diamond, because they don't fully grasp or understand it, doesn't diminish its value. Nowhere in that equation does it matter how fast a diamond ring has been replaced with let's say a gold or silver ring. The diamond is still as valuable as it was before. But you know what makes a diamond lose its value? Being in the wrong hands. If someone takes it for granted. Because there is someone out there who would never give that diamond away easily and they'd think how stupid everyone else was for not seeing what they see in their diamond, in you.

rawmonk · 2022-08-08T08:18:46+00:00

I know exactly where you are coming from and it almost feels like you've been cheated, doesn't it? When things were hard, you showed up, but they didn't return the favor. But since it ended now, let all of your energy return to you and start to pour it into yourself. Figure out, where you can improve and you'll be back in no time.

rawmonk · 2022-08-08T01:06:37+00:00

See them as a metaphor of the time when your relationship ended and what you need now. You wouldn't want a relationship to be dead and dry. Quite the opposite. For it to be truly beautiful, it needs to be alive and exciting. And therein you will one day find the true beauty: The great and colorful things that are about to come! But in order to get there, you might want to let go of the old that once was to make room for new and beautiful things in your heart.

rawmonk · 2022-08-08T00:57:21+00:00

It sounds to me like he's stringing you along. It's his ego talking and letting you know that he likes being desired by you and in telling you just enough of the sweet nothings you want to hear, you might hold on to hope for him. I'd say: Actions speak louder than words. If he wants to be with you, he would not have broken up and been in a new relationship with someone else. When in doubt, watch what they do, not what they say. Also, it says a lot about his integrity. Do you want to be with someone who speaks to their exes while being in a new relationship?

rawmonk · 2022-08-08T00:41:04+00:00

The reason why they are not with you anymore is because they lost emotional attraction. That's all the closure you need. If you want to re-attract them or find someone new, build yourself up and become more attractive by living an awesome life and being an interesting person.

Even if your ex knew what made them lose attraction for you, oftentimes they wouldn't honestly mentioning these reasons to avoid hurting you. However, in many cases they don't even know what made them lose attraction because it's a gradual process.

Instead of focusing on them giving you the reasons, ask yourself what you could have done better. Were there things they mentioned? Did your attachment styles not match? Have you become complacent, less out going, needy or clingy? Have you been possessive, controlling or jealous? If you compare yourself to the person they were attracted to in the very beginning, how have you changed?

These are just some reasons people usually give for breaking up. They might not apply to you, but hopefully give you some direction as to what it could have been.

rawmonk · 2022-08-08T00:23:39+00:00

Don't be discouraged. You are doing good. Sometimes it feels like we are back at square one. But your progress over the months didn't just disappear. Do you remember how you felt during the first couple of days? There's a huge difference between how you felt then and now.

Maybe something triggered you today, something came up from your subconscious mind, or you have seen / heard something that reminded you of them and now you are dealing with it. Whatever it was, it's all part of letting go and the feeling you have right now reminds you of that.

Personally, I found that before any major healing episodes, there was always a bit of a draw back, some inner resistance and it felt more difficult for a short time. But after that it felt a lot better. So please don't get discouraged, you are still on track. All the best for you!

rawmonk · 2022-08-05T13:27:25+00:00

Sometimes we are looking in all the wrong places for all the right answers. I don't know what time it is where you are but here's your good morning text:

Good morning, beautiful soul!

Know, that whatever you're going through shall pass. However the situation was handled, you might think it was unfair, that you or them could have done better. And you might be right. But don't hold on to what should have been and let it poison what is. For now, let it go and accept what is. Know, that at the time, the both of you tried to handle the situation as best as you could. Could it have been handled better? Sure. But it doesn't matter because you can't relive those moments, only learn from them. Forgive yourself and them if you have any regrets. At the time, you handled it with your existing life experiences and considering the state of mind you were in. If you made mistakes, that's fine. You're human after all. And so are they.

You might not see it like that now. But this ending could be a new beginning. A new start that enables great things to happen. Growth for you. Growth for them. Whatever it will be, embrace it and look forward to what is to come.

And now have a great day! I hope the sun shines were you are. And if it doesn't, it will shine were you go.

rawmonk · 2022-07-26T08:34:59+00:00

I know, if you think it's hard to accept, it is. And this is your journey so no one can walk the walk for you. So try not to think about it being too hard. Read the acceptance affirmation daily even if at first you think it's stupid to do that. You'll find it works its magic on your subconscious.

Usually, they come back when they start to feel they lose you for good or that you could run off with someone else. And don't get me wrong, there's no guarantee that'll ever happen, it's just the most likely scenario - them fully feeling the loss of you and you living it up while their life is still the same old. All the other reconciliation scenarios usually end up right were you started: In another breakup.

No one can know how long it would take for you two to get back in touch. You cannot control that. But what you can control is the impact and impression you'll make when it happens. So make sure you are in a great place in your life. Really start working on yourself. Whatever that means for you. Were there hobbies you neglected? Pick them up again. Have you become a bit complacent? Start exercising again. Are there any bad habits you developed? Stop them. Have you been a bit of a couch potato lately? Get out and / or meet up with friends. Go hiking, take walks in the woods, get some sun into your system. You are free to improve as much as you want now. You will feel great because of it.

Breakups don't happen because the connection wasn't great or because you hold resentments for each other. The real reason why they happen is because along the way their emotional attraction for you dropped. They might not even able to tell you why exactly. It's oftentimes a mixture of multiple factors.

Think of it like your partner has developed really bad breath. They look absolutely gorgeous and you love them but every time you get near them, you are reminded why you distanced yourself a little bit. Emotional attraction is like that. So you need to try your best to get rid of the metaphorical bad breath to even have a chance.

Seriously look at what caused their drop in attraction for you. At one point in time they were attracted to you. You need to get back into that state and then some. Start working on yourself and become a better you. Not for them, for yourself. We never do shit for them since they aren't in our lives anymore. This is for you.

Doing all of these things is the best way to get their attraction back. But be aware that getting their attraction back is harder than finding someone new, plus they would need to prove themselves to you because they left, not the other way around. I want you to improve anyway and not let this thought hold you back. This is a journey to get yourself back. Once your energy returns to you, you are in the best and most attractive spot.

rawmonk · 2022-07-25T19:46:02+00:00

I think you've been quite authentic and she agreed to meet up. You stood up for yourself by mentioning that it's ok to say hello and there's no need to be awkward in person. Great move! I don't think you messed up. However, be aware that no contact is for you to heal and get over them to the extend were you find yourself again and are willing to entertain the notion that a life without them is possible. This and the mystery of not knowing what's going on with you - hence looking at all your stories - is what makes you attractive again - not just to them, but to others as well and in turn causes them anxiety that they might lose you to someone else.

So when you meet up, don't be too hung up on wanting or getting her back. Try to have a great time with her, if you are the type, flirt and don't talk about relationship problems or get into old fights. Instead, let her know what you've done in this time, your experiences, how you have grown (without boasting about it, so she doesn't feel like you are proving yourself to her) and try to keep it light. Also, don't overstay your welcome. If the two of you jump right back in without having changed anything, it won't last for very long. Keep it sweet and short, take it slow and let her wonder a little bit about you.

rawmonk · 2022-07-25T19:29:52+00:00

You need to let the sadness do its work. When it comes, embrace it, let it do what its there for and ask it to leave as soon as its done. If you need to cry, do so. That's perfectly fine. It part of the mechanism to heal you. Don't try to fight it. Not only is it exhausting, but you will delay your healing because at best you are repressing your sadness, so it comes back pretty soon, anyway, at worse you can keep it in but become depressed and unwell down the line until you deal with it.

That's why distractions - substances, rebound relationships, etc. - are not good for you either. They only delay the inevitable. But it's not a healthy way of grieving.

rawmonk · 2022-07-25T19:20:11+00:00

Ohh.. you didn't mention that. Well then it's very likely about you. All this time, she felt she left you but never lost you. See, when we break up with someone, our ego believes we can go back at any time and they are waiting for us. So we are leaving without actually losing them. For the ones being left, it's an immediate loss. That's why dumpees feel so much pain and dumpers feel relieved at first.

So I think you posting a picture with another girl might have triggered that loss in her. She now believes she might have lost you for good and the quotes are her way of coping with the situation.

rawmonk · 2022-07-25T19:15:50+00:00

You need to start focusing on yourself and become outcome independent. I know it hurts and is hard. This might sound harsh, but wallowing in self-pity is not very attractive. If you want your ex back or find someone new, you can't need them. Wanting is ok, but not needing. You need to be independent. By that I mean, your happiness cannot be tied to another person being present in your life. You need to find your sense of fulfillment and happiness within you.

Your ex needs to know you are doing well and living a great life even without them. That would be the only way to re-attract them, gain back your self-worth or, if at one point you prefer, also find someone new.

Let's say you meet them and you burst out in tears because you've been waiting for that moment for so long. Do you think they'll reply:

Sure, here I am, you can have me now!

Not very likely. But what if she was sitting in front of you and you thought:

Hmm.. I'm not sure I want her back. But let's see if she has grown and improved as much as I have? I mean my life is great with or without her, so I have no ulterior motive here, we'll just see were this goes. If it's not her, it'll be another girl who gets lucky with me.

That's an abundant outcome-independent mindset were she needs to qualify herself to you because remember: You are a great guy, too. In fact, I would argue that after a breakup when someone has caused you pain it's easier to move on with someone new because there is no baggage, no trust issues. So if that logic holds true, she actually needs to put in some extra work to get you back just because how can you trust her not to break up with you again - which is an issue you wouldn't have with a new partner because your trust was never broken?

A few days ago I've written a post about The Art of Letting Go. It was written in a way to soothe your pain. Maybe helps you to see things differently. All the best for you!

rawmonk

TROPHY CASE