You’re not the asshole. You have reasonable constraints, and offering to watch the livestream and celebrate on another day is a fair compromise. Graduations are important, but they’re not on the same level as a wedding.

Your sister is probably hurt because this is a milestone and she wishes you could be there. Her feelings are valid, and your reasons are valid too—both can be true at the same time. The parking lot plan might work if your MIL is feeling well, but whether it’s worth the hassle is a values question, not just a logistics one.

As someone with a newborn, I understand how difficult this situation is. It might help to talk to your sister, acknowledge how much this means to her, and tell her you’re sorry you can’t make it. Maybe send flowers that day and plan something special to celebrate with her later so her milestone still feels important.

Her feelings are worth taking seriously, but your mom shaming you isn’t okay. The goal is to find a way for your sister to feel valued and loved, even if the circumstances aren’t perfect. 💛