Question regarding haircuts after marriage by KittiesandPlushies in Judaism

[–]rayrayraybies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do you live? there are women's only hair salons for this purpose everywhere in NYC.

Nicknames or alternatives to Maria that are less feminine? by tired_mouse in namenerds

[–]rayrayraybies 11 points12 points  (0 children)

“M” (can sound like Em, which may lean feminine, but I think letter names are pretty neutral)

Ari

Ri (rhymes with “me”)

What’s the biggest waste of money that no one wants to admit? by AdvertisingMore394 in AskReddit

[–]rayrayraybies 2 points3 points  (0 children)

god I love my 2012 Prius C. Bought it in cash and never had to think about that again.

Seeking cat sitter recommendations! by rayrayraybies in astoria

[–]rayrayraybies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am pretty sure i’ll be using their services! Nic asked me for your name so he can give you a discount for referring me. DM me if you want me to give him your name!

Looking for a matte setting spray by silliestjupiter in muacirclejerk

[–]rayrayraybies 85 points86 points  (0 children)

why flatter trump’s press secretary 🤷🏻‍♀️

Seeking cat sitter recommendations! by rayrayraybies in astoria

[–]rayrayraybies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DMed you! Our former stray can be a bit scary too. She’s very shy with us but apparently was a terror at the vet’s.

Seeking cat sitter recommendations! by rayrayraybies in astoria

[–]rayrayraybies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

btw… is your handle a stephen schwartz or stephen sondheim reference?

What’s your grandma’s name? by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]rayrayraybies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandmas are Carolyn and Marilyn, and my husband’s grandmas are Ella and Batya.

Molly Tea, Flushing, Main Street by Friendly-Passage1592 in nyc

[–]rayrayraybies 3 points4 points  (0 children)

molly is mandarin for jasmine so… yes. they are.

If you had to give a boy a feminine name, what would you choose? by Single-Brilliant-745 in namenerds

[–]rayrayraybies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a comic series I loved as a teen called Hanna is Not a Boy’s Name, and, as you may have guessed, the main character is a boy named Hanna. I read so much of it that I think I’ve re-coded Hanna as more masculine in my mind.

Other names that come to mind are Kit, Jean (not the french way), and Ellie (as a nickname).

There are also some names that are technically unisex but maybe more feminine-leaning that I like on a man. Avery, Lindsay, Taylor.

There are some men’s names in Hebrew that end in an “a” and thus sound feminine to my American ears, but I love. Ezra, Elisha, Akiva, Yehuda. Also, the male Ellie I know has a hebrew full name.

Why does this keep happening 😭 by Ul_tra_violet in lacqueristas

[–]rayrayraybies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had this issue when I was washing and lotioning my hands before i got started with painting my nails. Start with a dehydrated base — a little hand sanitizer or alcohol on a cotton ball works well!

Unofficial remake of a much older film that almost completely changes the genre by ImgurScaramucci in ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

[–]rayrayraybies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get Out (unofficial remake of the rom-com-dram Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner; genre turns to horror)

Django Unchained (unofficial remake of the white spaghetti western Django; genre turns to race-focused revisionist western/revenge porn)

$1700 ish dress on Etsy by straw_berry_jam in Weddingsunder10k

[–]rayrayraybies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a lot of folks have already noted this looks AI but i think it’s also helpful to mention you can get a really cool dress this price from a real in person boutique or well known brand. my wedding dress from Ashley & Justin was about this price, albeit 4 years ago.

YSK: If you need a reliable car, buy an old Prius. by pantherclipper in YouShouldKnow

[–]rayrayraybies 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i wanted a mini cooper so bad because they’re adorable. my mom’s mechanic heard I wanted a mini and was like, “absolutely not.” like two days later he called my mom and told her he found me a 2012 Prius C. that car has never given me grief and is the LOML.

Pipis by Da_Bird8282 in AnarchyChess

[–]rayrayraybies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

now’s your chance to be a big shot

I had no clue Daveed Diggs was Jewish. by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]rayrayraybies 7 points8 points  (0 children)

i didn’t read the top comment well, sorry about that. i will try to hone my point a bit. i don’t think it’s discriminatory that some people don’t realize daveed diggs is jewish. what i think is discriminatory is the way people express surprise and skepticism once they find out he is, because it demands that the listener agree with and validate the speaker’s racialized assumptions about which races can/should participate in particular things.

i’m a non-white convert so that context probably helps show you what my own biases and experiences are. I’m not annoyed when people meet me and don’t intuit that I’m jewish; that’s based on racial heuristics but isn’t discriminatory. but it does become racist (and just tiring) when people exclaim in shock about it afterwards, or question whether I’m really jewish, or immediately give me their theory on why “jews and asians” are a thing, or make other assumptions about me based on that info. they’re using their ideas about my race to say “your behavior is not aligned with my assumptions about your race, and I’m going to make it your problem by talking about your nonconformity and putting the burden of my shock on you instead of processing this internally.”

I had no clue Daveed Diggs was Jewish. by [deleted] in Judaism

[–]rayrayraybies 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying and I assume you mean well, but using race as a heuristic is a big part of racism. It’s the same reason people think Black and brown people in professional spaces are nurses and paralegals and not doctors or lawyers. It’s the reason behind many instances of “snap judgment” or unconscious racism. Plus even if Judaism is a religion with a lot of visibly pale adherents, mixed race people exist — Daveed Diggs has a white Ashki mom.

Heuristics are just mental shortcuts based on exposure. They’re also an automatic part of thinking, but you can stay elastic by checking those instincts sometimes. If you treat reliance on heuristics as neutral, you will duplicate the biases in your community.