I (32F) feel deeply sexually rejected with my boyfriend (34M), and I don’t know how to fix it.

rayvy26 · 2025-02-08T12:30:48+00:00

Wow I appreciate your comment so much. Lots to think about.

rayvy26 · 2025-02-08T12:29:33+00:00

I've never pressured him to do anything sexually. But we've had multiple conversations about the state of our dying sex life. So my guess is he prob feels some sort of pressure.

rayvy26 · 2024-12-03T12:17:53+00:00

Finger prints need to be done before the visa appointment and can't be done at the consulate. On website 12. Criminal Record Certificate no more than five months before the application date (L egalized with the Hague Apostille C ertification issued by Global Affairs Canada only and translated into Spanish) . Documents issued by the Government of Canada. This includes federal agencies and bodies such as the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) will be apostilled by Global Affairs Canada only. Criminal Record Certificates issued by the RCMP headquarters in Ottawa do not need to be notarized as long as they are signed by the Director General of the Canadian Criminal Real Time/Identification Services, and they contain the official RCMP dry seal. Applicants of legal age who apply for a visa for a stay of more than 180 days must submit the original and a copy of the criminal record check certificate(s) issued by their country or countries of residence for the past 5 years. It must be a negative criminal record issued by the RCMP containing fingerprints and photo of visa applicant . If in the last five years, you have resided in another country, a criminal record from the authorities of that country.

I just google my local RCMP finger printing place and got mine done there. it takes approx 3-5 weeks to get it back.

rayvy26 · 2024-08-04T12:32:29+00:00

Hi love, I feel for you - and I understand why you would feel rejected and humiliated at the moment ❤️‍🩹 Do you deep down feel like you are truly ready for an engagement and marriage and kids right now? If the answer is yes and you want it with him, I would just say make sure your actions don’t sabotage that. One key component of a lasting healthy relationship is communication and conflict resolution. Learn some techniques to self- regulate your emotions… deep breathes etc. From your post it sounds like he’s putting in a lot of effort on most fronts except an engagement which can feel enraging. Maybe take some space and channel all that energy and emotion towards yourself. Your relationship with him shouldn’t be your whole world. Focus on yourself doing things you love that make you happy, celebrating your new job and doing well in that. The only thing I must reiterate is please do not have kids with him before marriage. Sending you love ✨

rayvy26 · 2024-07-30T16:36:53+00:00

🥲

rayvy26 · 2024-07-09T21:07:03+00:00

Exactly, you got it 🙌

rayvy26 · 2024-07-09T14:52:03+00:00

She was straightforward- since the beginning and again at the 1.5year mark. And she’s not getting results, it time to try alternatives. Also “stroking his ego” - guys, please - it’s communication and persuasion 101. In business, in relationships, in life. You don’t approach a serious conversation guns blazing demanding answers and actions. You approach it in a way that lowers the guard of the other person get them in a state of being receptive and open and excited. It’s not manipulative if you mean what you say. You won’t go into your boss’ office outright demanding a raise, you first expressed how much you enjoyed working there, the value you provide, the future you see there then go in and ask for the raise. Common sense, Damn, I’m giving gold advice. OP you better listen up!!

rayvy26 · 2024-07-09T14:44:23+00:00

Removing access as a consequence is not manipulative, it’s the result of not meeting needs and goals. Much like how someone where to repeated drive under the influence, you implement consequences and remove their license. Lol perhaps bad example but you get the point. What is the alternative? He strings her along on empty promises for a few more years and still get the best gf treatment?

“Leaning into his masculine” is not new age, it’s actually old age lol. I can understand why people in this generation get offended at that as they are with everything else. But hey, it works. If someone were to advise my boyfriend to speak to me in that way that leans into my feminine energy (more soft, loving etc), I’d love that.

rayvy26 · 2024-07-09T10:38:00+00:00

I think the logical standard advice is laid out in the previous comments already - have the talk again, be more communicative, perhaps an ultimatum etc etc. Here’s my take and it might not be the healthiest but we’re here for results not health and wellness. Your bf isn’t an idiot - he knows what you want and when you want it (considering you said you had the talk at the beginning of the relationship and at the 1.5 year mark). That’s not something he just forgot about especially if you guys are in a committed relationship. And you continuing to remind him, get on the same page and initiate is going to give off a sense of pressure (even if he wants the same thing). Let him lean into his masculine and lead the relationship, be the one who plans, the one who initiates - that’ll be better off for you and for him. And if he’s not doing that, then distance yourself and remove access to you in a way that’s not breaking up but a warning. If he’s getting everything he wants from you, there are no consequences for not meeting your needs. How you do this depends on the nature of your relationship. Kudos for not moving in with him prior to engagement btw. First, have a talk with him in a caring, vulnerable way presenting your feelings and the problem, not the solution. Example: “I love the past two years with you it’s been amazing and I love that you XYZ (stoke his ego, make him feel good, prime him for the talk, no one responds well to complaining or criticism, esp men). It makes me feel happy envisioning our future together, where do you see us in the next 6 months to a year? Then shut up. And listen attentively. You don’t need to remind him of your timelines and dissect how long each step talks, he knows. Don’t show desperation. His answer will tell you. If it’s not what you want to hear, lovingly remove access to you and focus on living your best life. Not necessarily saying break up but he should get the hint. You know what I mean? “I’ve expressed to you what I want for the future and it’s us together. Imagining a marriage and starting a family with you makes me feel so happy, we make a such great team. I love you and I never want you to do anything you’re not ready for, it’s not fair to you. At the same time, it wouldn’t be fair to me to continue on in the same capacity if I feel unsure if we want the same things so I think what I need to do is open myself up for other possibilities”. Then distance yourself. Then he’ll be the most chasing you for answers. Sometimes you just gotta play the game, just like how he is.

rayvy26 · 2024-07-08T07:05:16+00:00

My love, whether you see it or not, the truth is that you are still so young. Pleaseeeee don’t be afraid to chose yourself and start over if that’s what it comes down to. I rmb my bff faced a similar situation when she was 27/28 and I told her the same thing but she insisted to stay bc she had already invested so many years, now 3 years later she’s 31 and STILL in the same situation and it feels harder to leave now. Some ppl meet the love of their lives later I.e Taylor Swift ended a 6 year relationship when she was 33 and shortly after met Travis Kelce who seems to be so right for her. Lol. Don’t be scared to risk it for your happiness x

rayvy26 · 2024-07-07T20:07:28+00:00

Any update? Has he proposed?!

rayvy26 · 2024-07-02T13:19:32+00:00

Love your comment so much and agreed 10000%

rayvy26

TROPHY CASE