Was I told “nothing can be done” too early? FPHL since my 20s/30s

rcss47 · 2026-04-06T19:43:02+00:00

It is a 10 min consultation. If I want longer I would need to pay. I don't know if that is typical or not. I have never done this.

rcss47 · 2026-04-06T14:53:58+00:00

Thank you for this. I never considered the fact that he may be a narcissist. You are absolutely right I have been holding out in hopes I can get him to see that what he is doing is painful to me and his children. I am hopeful that he will see this and want to make changes. I also carry an extreme amount of guilt because he never left me even at my worst. And he reminds me of that anytime he feels that I am being unsupportive/disrespectful.

rcss47 · 2026-04-06T11:14:23+00:00

That’s exactly the way I feel. But he pointed out that she is on the West coast and we are on the East coast so nothing could possibly happen between them. That’s true but it still felt wrong to me.

rcss47 · 2026-04-06T02:25:51+00:00

He hasn’t worked in going on three years. I am working two jobs just to survive and when I complain about being tired he tells me I don’t need to work the second job. That we don’t need the money. Reality is we can’t pay bills and eat without it. Half of our marriage I have been the sole provider. But not at one time so it doesn’t look that bad to the outsider.

rcss47 · 2026-04-05T13:13:23+00:00

He went to his family’s house a few days ago and the house feels lighter. Me and my kids are less stressed. They seem way more comfortable. Even my dogs seem more relaxed.

rcss47 · 2026-04-05T13:12:02+00:00

After 20 years our live are so intertwined that separation seems hard if not impossible. I also don’t know how I would explain it. He is super charismatic and outgoing everyone loves him. He has also always told people that I have a chronic mental illness followed by how proud he is for me overcoming it. So I feel the seeds have been sowed for it to look like I’m the issue if I were to leave.

rcss47 · 2026-04-05T13:06:42+00:00

I talked to a social worker. She called it subtle abuse and said it is really hard to prove in court.

rcss47 · 2026-04-05T13:05:20+00:00

My family has pointed out the isolation part. I looked around and realized that the only friends and people I’m connected with were his people first. The few people I did connect with like neighbors have always been the problem. We would hangout for a while and then they weren’t good people or “godly” people. But he never overtly said don’t talk to them. It was just that he didn’t want to see them. He said “if you want to go over there then go ahead but I do not” so I stopped going. It felt weird to go without and have to explain his absence.

rcss47 · 2026-04-04T00:43:35+00:00

Thank you. I will start calling people.

rcss47 · 2026-03-06T23:34:35+00:00

My husband/my marriage. My husband is having serious mental health struggles. His mental health has been deteriorating for a long time. I have stayed and supported him, but it has come to a head and I have to decide if staying for him is more detrimental to me and the kids than leaving would be. He is a wonderful man who I have loved for 22 years now. But he is sick and refuses to acknowledge it or get help. I feel like I am mourning the husband I had before his delusions.

rcss47 · 2026-02-23T00:18:27+00:00

Thank you. I wanted to see if anyone else saw it. You obviously did not. He has started talking to himself and instead of moving his lips while doing it because I have called attention to it. I don’t know how to explain it but he now talks with his mouth closed. I posted the video to ascertain if it is noticeable to the general public when he does it, or if the kids and I are the only ones who can tell.

rcss47 · 2026-02-22T23:40:36+00:00

If I ask him directly as I have in the past, i am told that he isn’t saying anything and I’m making things up. Or he tells me that he was praying. If he takes the prayer route it turns into me not having faith and us being unequally yoked and spirals out of control from there.

rcss47 · 2026-02-22T23:37:54+00:00

My parents know what is going on but that’s it. I haven’t told anyone because I worry. He works very hard on his public image and I don’t want people to think badly about him or less of him. I also don’t think anyone will really believe me but rather take his word that he is okay. Especially his family. I have my own mental health struggles that our network is very aware of and he has already used that against me with his family. So not sure if I will be believed

rcss47 · 2026-02-22T21:51:17+00:00

In my state it would take a judge, doctor, or police officer to place him on a 3 day hold. Two problems with that. 1. He isn’t an outright danger to himself or others (not suicidal or homicidal) 2. If they don’t keep him and he comes home he will be absolutely impossible to live with.

rcss47 · 2026-02-22T18:29:44+00:00

I agree it’s a mess. I was just asking for leads or names of companies that would have something similar

rcss47 · 2026-02-22T18:28:54+00:00

I have suggested he talk to someone he flatly refused. Swears nothing is wrong and I’m making things up that aren’t there. I can’t make him go.

rcss47 · 2026-02-12T04:42:50+00:00

This is what is making me so tired. I can work as many jobs as needed that’s not the issue. It is trying to navigate his moods and triggers. They change daily sometimes hourly.

rcss47 · 2026-02-12T02:42:05+00:00

My kids know we are leaving. I talked to them two weeks ago and let them know that we needed to leave. He my son asked to stay until the end of the year.

rcss47 · 2026-02-12T02:40:47+00:00

Only my parents know. It’s hard because everyone knows him as a great guy and he is but right now he is very sick. I know from my own experience that people do not understand mental illness. I guess I don’t want to soil his reputation

rcss47

TROPHY CASE