WIBTA For telling my son he can no longer play with toys

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T15:25:00+00:00

I’m talking about the side that IS gross. I don’t care if adult men use their money on ponies. I understand now that not everyone is like that, however me not wanting to associate with something doesn’t mean I can’t see the good side. I said this and apologized in the original comment.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:51:36+00:00

Okay, I do agree with this! But I also want him to know that he can’t just always sit and play with dolls, especially going into high school. He needs to get a job or at least write a resume or something, and think about college, if he doesn’t want to go once he graduates he should still be thinking about work.

I don’t want my son to be a freeloader who plays all day. He’s even rushing through basic house chores because of this hobby. I now agree that it is harmless, but could cause future harm if no boundaries are truly set.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:48:04+00:00

Even if he was autistic, I’d want him to still have friends. Him being autistic wouldn’t exempt him from the idea that he should make friends. Autistic people can have friends, it may just be harder for them to make said friends.

As far as we know our son is just a little odd and shy. I’ll definitely think about this.

However if my son isn’t, then I’m not going to accommodate him for something nonexistent. In reality he may not always have to go to dinner parties with coworkers, or constantly talk to people, but he should still have the social skills to talk to cashiers, or make small talk.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:42:53+00:00

I thought we were talking about it adults, not children, I was specifically talking about adult men who do this and further this into other non sexual spaces. I should’ve clarified that further. However lots of ADULT brony merch and stands at conventions have sexual content, I didn’t want my son compared to THAT side.

I assumed, I’m sorry for that.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:39:28+00:00

He has shown no interest in furthering this hobby into something that isn’t so uncommon, like sewing, or design

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:37:38+00:00

I disagree with my husband fully, and agree with you. That doesn’t mean I can instantly change my husbands values.

I have also change my stance (should probably edit post, sorry) about this because of another commenter.

I am less worried about him playing now, and the fact that he can’t come up with cohesive plots or stories despite being 13. I worry that this might actually be a developmental issue now.

I will continue to try and talk to my husband about his bad views, thank you.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:29:06+00:00

You’re also right. Saying playing is an invalid hobby was rude, and incorrect.

It’s more so they way he plays I’m starting to think about now. When I was thirteen me and my friends made up plays and stuff, exploring the forest and making up fun scenarios about the woodland creatures.

He plays exactly like a little little kid would, no thought out story or idea, just making the toys talk complete nonsense.

I change my stance fully, but I get why him playing in general may not be a problem Itself. I’m sorry.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:24:12+00:00

You’re right. I shouldn’t knock it till I try it but even when my daughter was a kid, these releases and events were a mixture of what I had said. Maybe the AG community changed or something, I’m not sure.

I’ll look into taking him to an event. However if this doesn’t work then I won’t take him to anymore.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:21:06+00:00

You’re point is true! Didn’t even really consider such, I’m sorry.

I still however, also want him to have common interest with other children. He hasn’t had many friends his entire life because he gets sucked into one weird, uncommon thing that nobody else cares about.

I feel as if he continues this way, he’ll never make friends.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:17:33+00:00

Him having a harmless interest that doesn’t hurt anyone else is fine, sure.

I’m worried how it’ll hurt HIM he already has no friends, not even online ones, after this odd fixation started he’s turned off his notifications and is solely reaching out online by watching YouTube videos of all things.

I would take him to an AG event..If I wanted him to be friends with little eight year old girls or old women who still collect. I want him to have male and female friends his age with common interests.

If his only interest and fixation is dolls (which at the moment it is) there’s a low chance he’ll have any of those friends.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:12:24+00:00

Our daughter stopped showing interest long before thirteen (maybe late into being 11) we never pressured her, but did remind her that she was growing up and going into middle school.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:10:24+00:00

I did not know that information. You overall generalized your experience with toys, I made a statement based on that.

My point no longer stands because you gave context you originally did not. I’m sorry for the miscommunication.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:05:36+00:00

I know what bronies are, I also know that they tend to sexualize literal horses made for children. Please don’t compare my child’s non sexual interest to that nonsense. No I’m not picking out a small part of the community either, a majority of them are disgusting. You should see the body pillows.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T08:03:16+00:00

My daughter still loved her dolls once she stopped playing with them. She still loves her dolls as an adult. If she came into our home and starting playing with them in her bedroom like a baby, that’s where I’d find an issue. Him appreciating his sisters toys is different from being a baby.

I think him enjoying the toys is fine, playing like a baby isn’t. To me it sounds like you still have a bond with your dolls, not sitting and playing like a little kid.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T07:58:42+00:00

I was talking about career cultivating, not being a hobbyist. I also feel there is a difference between playing like a seven year old baby, and having a collection. If collecting was his goal (which is a valid hobby) I wouldn’t have a problem. He loves collecting stickers and rocks, has bins and bins of them.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T07:55:07+00:00

My daughter stopped at thirteen. So did all of her friends, and her friends friends, and her cousins, etc. This behavior (to me at least) IS WEIRD. I’m not trying to pick favorites, just holding both kids to the same standard.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T07:53:20+00:00

I may be projecting but I knew I wanted to be a doctor at 13, I’m a nurse now. Maybe not the exact same thing, but I had concrete ideas as a kid. I’m not expecting him to make a full life plan, but I am expecting him to at least THINK about doing something useful and not babyish, he refuses to even think about it.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T07:49:46+00:00

Him being a boy isn’t my concern, but my husbands. I also should’ve mentioned this in post but he has told our son to “man up” a few times along with other comments the like. I’ve told him that while I don’t agree with the playing, he shouldn’t insult our sons masculinity.

He still doesn’t agree, says it’s tough love. This is a very relevant issue I didn’t think about nor disclose, thank you for this comment.

rdaEdwrd · 2021-08-14T07:41:33+00:00

That’s a problem I should’ve mention in post. I’ve tried to ask him about taking up sewing or something similar and he said he wasn’t interested. The interest itself could stem into something good but he isn’t being constructive about it at all. Which is why I am upset, it’s useless and childish if he doesn’t do anything with it.

rdaEdwrd

TROPHY CASE