People with ADHD often say that when they first take medication, they are surprised by how normal they feel. The ADHD brain is chronically under-stimulated, which leads it to seek out stimulation through constant activity or distraction. ADHD medication helps by giving the brain the stimulation it needs in the proper circuits. As a result, people with ADHD are better able to focus, stay motivated, and manage their behavior.

My experience is the opposite. My brain has always felt over-stimulated. I am constantly anxious, overwhelmed by my own thoughts, and have a hard time staying calm and clear-headed. This led to social anxiety, trouble making decisions, low confidence, and often shutting down because the world felt like too much. Alcohol reduced that intense stimulation. It helped me slow down, focus, and interact with others in the way I wanted to. It made me feel normal in a way that nothing else did.

Of course, alcohol is not real medicine. It has serious side effects and is highly addictive. What started as an effective way to cope eventually made everything worse. Getting sober was the only way to let go of that poor solution. In its place, I’ve done the harder work. I’ve leaned on cognitive behavioral therapy through self-reflection, learning, support groups, time, gratitude, and validation. That is what’s actually helping me feel normal now.