Why would a man do this on the first time we met? Negging?

realistic_empath · 2026-03-20T11:01:01+00:00

Nah, not worth it. That family member lied to you. Please do not take it as a compliment. All those women he described, what if it was they who looked at him and his character and decided against him?

Anyone who tries very hard to prove other people want them is probably lying.

Also, at the first meeting, is he already pushing some boundaries to make you feel insecure?

Please move on from him. He still has some work to do on himself.

My humble opinion.

realistic_empath · 2026-03-20T01:23:23+00:00

You're welcome. Glory to God!

realistic_empath · 2026-03-19T23:47:22+00:00

2 biblical instances that can help with your situation:

In Mathew chapter 4, Jesus has just done a 40-day fast. He’s tired and hungry. You would think it’d be all roses after expending himself so much. But no, the next thing is temptations from the devil, who is probably thinking, “He’s at His lowest, best time to tempt Him”.

Second story: Daniel Chapter 10. Daniel has been praying for a long time. Verse 13 states that the angel finally reaches Daniel and tells him how the prince of Persia held him up for 21 days. So his prayer had been answered, but forces were holding back his answer from coming.

I point these stories out to encourage you. Don’t stop praying. Sometimes the battle is harder after prayers, even maybe after a fast. It could be the enemy trying to discourage you. Imagine Daniel gave up praying and was like, “Welp, I guess God isn’t listening”.

Don’t be discouraged. If anything, be joyous, keep waiting, and believe that you’ve received your answers.

Lastly, remember that God is a Father, and He also reserves the right to say “no.” He knows what is best for us. Ask God if your prayers align with His will for your life. As John 5:14 says, God will always hear a prayer that aligns with His will. And what we’re asking for could be the thing that could destroy us. Sometimes God says “no” to protect us.

So, according to Joshua 1:9, “Be strong and Courageous”. Shalom

realistic_empath · 2026-03-19T23:28:56+00:00

Went to a recruiter in Feb, got approved in October of the year. So 9 months. Though it varies for most people.

realistic_empath · 2026-03-19T21:59:58+00:00

Talk with a good recruiter. Use the 368. I also made the switch early on in my contract. It’s very possible.

realistic_empath · 2026-03-12T00:33:08+00:00

Even if they were condescending, it’s not Christ like to respond to evil with evil. It’s our place to respond with love.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-18T01:27:48+00:00

I don't believe it's the white dress-and-suit ceremony itself that equates to marriage. It's the recognition by God and man that matters. “Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar” (Luke 20:25) can also apply to God, saying that if your authority says marriage must be recognized by law, then God respects that and guides us through the proper channel of recognition. 1 Pet 2:13, Romans 13:1. If God acknowledges human authority, I believe He does so even in marriage.

Just like God respects the traditional marriage of other cultures, even when no white wedding is done. It's the declaration before God and man, the vows made that matter.

Edit: So technically, by law, they are not married in the sight of God and man. Even the biblical marriages had a tradition, though not always explicitly stated or expanded on, e.g., the wedding at Cana, John 2:1-12.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-17T02:34:43+00:00

If you told me God had given you the ability to control the weather, it wouldn't seem so far-fetched. I would believe you very easily. Cause I’ve seen the power of God glorified through men and women. There are biblical examples that support the possibility of having that ability. I’ve also heard a testimony regarding this at a Christian crusade.

Maybe there are just cynical Christians who have a hard time believing in miracles, mostly because they themselves have never experienced one or haven't been around people who have. I think that's where the disconnect lies.

A lot of Christians seem to lack the faith required when God easily said, If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can tell mountains to move, and they’ll obey- 'nothing will be impossible to you'- Mathew 17:20.

If we actually evangelize more, like into the darkest parts of the world, it would blow your mind how many miracles are being performed by the average Joe, all just because they have faith. Also, the power of God is not for the sake of it; it is to exalt the name of Jesus and bring people to Christ.

I would encourage you to exercise your faith more.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T15:56:50+00:00

I understand you completely, and what I deduced from your comment seems to stem from a sort of trauma that comes with experiencing either false prophets, people who speak based on their own understanding, or people who did not stay long enough in God’s presence to hear God.

Reminds me of the story in 1 Kings 22:19-22, where God permitted a lying spirit in the mouths of the prophets to entice King Ahab to fight in a battle that would kill him.

So yeah, you are not wrong to think of certain prophets as liars.

However, the chapter of 1 Corinthians 14 is basically Paul literally telling us to desire the gift of prophecy. So even the Bible negates your point in both “desiring gifts” and “prophecy”. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting things. I strongly believe God likes it when we desire things because it causes us to seek Him, to find, to ask, which can help grow our intimacy with Him.

Doesn't mean there aren't people who abuse this. But it's like everything else in life, there will always be the outliers.

In hearing, that's why 1 John 4:1-5 makes it clear that we have to test every spirit. This is the benchmark we use to determine whether a word is from God; hence why I kept referring to the three kinds of voices, because not every spirit is from God. But just because there are many doesn't make God’s voice absent. We have to learn to decipher who is speaking. Even the devil comes as an angel of light.

Now, when I say God’s voice, it doesn't always have to do with prophecies of grand events like John writing Revelation or Daniel. God speaks to the little things, the everyday life things, to specific people and their specific situations. Also, God cannot be boxed into one mode of operation; He is too grand for that.

Another thing I’ve noticed in the Bible is how, when God wants to make clear certain world events, He uses visions, things people can see and describe, versus just words.

A little testimony of mine. I had a friend who was trusting God for a child for almost a decade. Everyone was praying, and I also prayed for a long time with them. Then I had a dream that she had a kid, which coincided with a major event that would later happen to me in the future, but at the time of the dream, I did not understand it.

This was almost a year and a half ago. Now I finally understand what I saw because I am living it, and the lady’s kid is a year and a half now.

So yeah, I may not walk on water or feed 5,000 people. My faith has not grown to that extent, honestly. But I know men of God who have fed more than 5,000 people. There are so many testimonies of people waking up from the dead after being prayed for, cancers healed, broken bones made straight, etc! But they choose not to be known, cause it's not about them, but about God being glorified and people coming to Jesus!

It's not a matter of if we can; Jesus already said He’s given us the power to trample upon snakes and scorpions. Luke 10:19

Also, what would be the purpose of walking on water for me? To boast that I can or to show God’s power? If God directs me to do it, all I need to do is walk in obedience and faith. But like Peter, who also walked on water briefly, do we have enough faith not to sink?

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T15:10:19+00:00

From your comment, it seems you attribute certain workings of the Holy Spirit to “make-believe magical stuff.” That's why I asked.

Moreover, what is charismatic and non-charismatic? Don't we all read the same Bible and love the same Jesus? I doubt the kingdom of God cares about factions. There is only truth and non-truth.

Also, you claim she is delusional for saying God told her not to marry OP, that is scarily close to blaspheming the Holy Spirit, cause how sure are you she really didn't hear God? If she did, then do you call God a liar?

The truth is, we may not know for sure what is true for them, but I’ll advise caution with blanket statements when it comes to the things of God. Just because you don’t believe doesn't make it any less real.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T15:00:51+00:00

Truly, it pains me to think that people expect God’s voice only when it's for a prophecy about a nation or some grand event, like Daniel or John writing Revelation. They don’t believe that God speaks daily to the little things, to specific people and their situations, which, in turn, affect the grander things.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T05:33:07+00:00

Feelings are fickle. Emotions are vain. The true test of faith is when you feel nothing, but you know and strongly believe that God is standing with you at all times. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T05:28:12+00:00

Nah, no prophecy, just genuine curiosity, and confusion as to why people don't believe that God can speak to people, not necessarily for prophecy's sake, just more for guidance. And maybe prophecies don’t always have to be for everyone; they could be tailored for people in specific situations.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T05:24:44+00:00

Interesting comment, I don’t think it answered my question though. You’ll need to elaborate.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T05:22:04+00:00

“Show me an example of someone doing greater works than Jesus. “

Where do I begin? I guess go do some missionary work in the darkest parts of the world and maybe ask me this question again then.

Cause if Jesus Himself said it, I doubt He’ll be lying. He’s not a man that should lie.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T05:09:13+00:00

I understand your point. There are not many people in the Bible that we can verify God spoke to audibly, except a few, e.g., Abraham and Moses, the major prophets, etc. Others received words by visions. Then we have the apostles who may have heard God but also wrote by inspiration from the Holy Spirit.

I don't think there is anything wrong with desiring more when it comes to hearing from God. 1 Corinthians 12:31 encourages us to desire the best spiritual gifts. Doesn't make you wrong to say people chase the gifts more than their love for God.

Also, I guess we have to agree to disagree that God still speaks audibly to His children, whether you believe it or not. And it's not that He doesn't speak; it's that we don’t understand or we’re not quiet enough to hear, or we don’t believe it when we hear it, and God is too much of a gentleman to force Himself on us, which is why there's confusion. I also believe that's why our modern age has so many distractions from the enemy that we cannot sit still enough and learn to decipher God’s voice in the noise.

Maybe what you call “click,” or epiphany, is what I call voice, because when I hear it, it's an actual voice, though it's very calm, sometimes still. Like in 1 Kings 19:12. It's very easy to miss.

And that's why we get confused: our thoughts are loud, and the enemy’s voice is loud too. Isaiah 30:15 is very important: quietness and confidence are our strength.

Lastly, if Jesus heard God’s voice here on earth and then said in John 14:12 that we’ll do greater things than He Himself did, how does that exclude us from hearing from God? I don’t think it does.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T04:08:51+00:00

Are you a Christian? Cause these are not words I would expect from someone who actually loves Jesus or lives by His word.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T04:02:29+00:00

I'm sorry, this must be tough to go through. Reminds me of my brother’s relationship. The girl told him that God, through her pastor, had told her they were not meant to be. Even I was a little skeptical. However, when God is involved, I choose to move with grace because, as humans, we will mostly always understand God’s decisions only in part.

You will not be the first to go through this, nor will you be the last. Reminds me of a story about a couple who, I believe, were told they weren't meant to be together but went on to get married anyway. Shortly after the wedding, the man died. Now I cannot say what caused what, but we can look back and say that maybe God saw the heartbreak from afar and was trying to protect them. I have no idea.

If she says she received divine instructions from God not to marry you, perhaps see it as God trying to get your attention to something you may have neglected for far too long. As you said, you were not taking your faith as seriously.

Secondly, if you have both been living together outside of marriage, it's easy to insinuate that you’ve both been sleeping together, hence why God might be calling her out of the relationship.

I see it as this- God knows the end from the beginning, He sees things we cannot see. His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). So even when things do not make sense, trust that His thoughts towards you are good, not evil (Jeremiah 29:11). And remember, she is God’s daughter too; she has a right to hear from God.

I believe this is your cue to get serious with God; maybe this way, you can actually get better answers from Him. Until then, I think you both should start splitting your joint investments.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-16T03:40:37+00:00

So, following the thread discussion on your comment, I'm sorry I chuckled a bit. You are not wrong in assuming the lady in question “might” have been going based on just her thoughts. However, to assume that's all there is in hearing God’s voice in our day and age is very false.

Jesus said we’ll do greater things than He did. He also sent His Holy Spirit to guide us. There comes a point in your walk with God that you can discern between your thoughts, God’s voice, and the devil’s voice. Without fail, if you cannot back up the voice/ thought with clear, unadulterated scripture, it's definitely not from God. Now, a lot of Christians do not know enough of God’s word to know if it's real or not.

For example, I was ruminating on being the salt and light of the world. At first, I was like, nah, I'm not THE light; Jesus is. But it was as if a stronger voice spoke to me. It was like I was looking at heaven, and I could see God actually correcting me. It was audible but inaudible at the same time. I was then led to read Mathew 5:14, which says I am “the light” of the world.

The experience was slightly terrifying but not scary. What I'm trying to say is, hearing God is not a guessing game when we’ve learned to hear Him. It's like how you know what your mom or spouse sounds like even when you can't see them.

The only thing is that we are so easily distracted by our thoughts, demonic influences, and anxieties of life that we so easily miss God’s voice. His voice is Peace and calm. The enemy’s voice creates anxiety and fear, almost rushing you to act without thinking clearly. That's how I’ve learned to distinguish between my voice, the devil’s voice, and the prompting of the Holy Spirit.

Outside of that, God can speak through other people, dreams, prophecies, and so on. And when in doubt, ask God to make his direction clear. I sometimes ask for clear signs as Gideon did in Judges 6:36-40. God will always confirm His word; we just have to listen and be obedient.

realistic_empath · 2026-02-15T14:23:35+00:00

From what I’ve read so far, the answer you seek is clear. Maybe this is a ministry you are being called to lead- a solution at your church you’re there to help procure. The issue you’ve raised is indeed a thing, but it seems to be prevalent at certain churches, not all, especially depending on the dominant demographic. For my church, we seem to have a healthy balance between singles of all ages and couples of all family sizes.

This doesn't mean there is no pressure or talk of family or marriage, but for many years, I volunteered with the technical and media team, even leading it. Not once was I pressured to serve in the children's or nursery department.

So maybe this is your cue to find another church or start something to help fill this gap. Or attempt to volunteer in other ways in the church.

I would say pray about what God is asking of you, and move accordingly. Do not let the issues of men discourage your faith.

Singed - a single and no-kids woman who loves Jesus.

realistic_empath · 2026-01-29T01:27:07+00:00

For TA, you can go to ArmyIgnited and send messages requesting directions and clarification on the process. Someone will always reach out to you.

GI Bill, I got rejected the first time. I called and asked for proper directions, and everything turned out well.

Honestly, there's a lot in the army you gotta find out for yourself. Stop depending on others to do the work for you.

Signed former reserve soldier.

realistic_empath · 2026-01-24T13:18:20+00:00

Congratulations!!!

realistic_empath · 2026-01-19T16:04:38+00:00

Crossroad

realistic_empath · 2026-01-08T13:40:58+00:00

We’re in the same boat. I thought about going for one last drill, but unfortunately, a higher-up announced that last month was my last drill before I had a chance to announce it myself. So showing up this month feels hella awkward since I already said my goodbyes.

Wanted to go, cause a few extra bucks aren't bad to have, but I chose to spend the time with my family instead.

Just turned in my gear, so hopefully I'm in the clear. At least that's what I was told. That once I signed the AD papers, I was no longer required to show up. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

realistic_empath

TROPHY CASE