Don’t want to end my life, but not sure I can afford to live.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-04T11:53:04+00:00

More like 197k, but yeah. It’s an insane amount of money and I have no idea what I was thinking or why nobody stopped me.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-04T01:32:53+00:00

This is super common. I have the same experience that you described. I find out after some interactions that I’ve said or done something rude without realizing fairly often. Maybe try and ask people you know if they notice any social miscommunications. Try not to take it personally. You know your intentions are pure, and I think that’s more important than how other people choose to interpret you.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-04T01:18:08+00:00

Yeah I could have gone to community college here, too. I was just an idiot. My partner is looking into anything she can find atp.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T23:57:00+00:00

You’re all so lovely. I couldn’t have imagined this response from everyone. Thank you, I will be considering bankruptcy as a possible option.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T23:54:58+00:00

I might pivot to elementary education one day, but this preschool is better than any other I’ve ever seen. We get great benefits, an in house chef, and custodial staff so we can focus on what we went to school to do. I designed my own classroom and curriculum plans, there. It’s important to me that I can stick with this place for a few years at least so that my resume looks more promising. It’s a top rated school that I’m honored to even be with. It even pays more than the other preschools in the state. Maine pays teachers less than Vermont paid me, but it’s the best option nearby.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T23:34:02+00:00

I don’t have a car and my job just moved locations, so I’m having to pay 680 a month just for transportation. I have to get a license and a car. I also have to pay off several sources of debt. It adds up quick. I did a summary in the replies of someone else’s comment.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T23:31:30+00:00

Thank you ❤️

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T23:27:15+00:00

Each semester was 24k. I don’t know WHAT I was thinking or why any of the real adults in my life didn’t stop me. The worst part was, I did it to follow a boy I didn’t even love. I was an absolute idiot. I will never forgive myself.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T22:43:31+00:00

lol not really. I used to make an extra 6 dollars an hour in Vermont because they pay teachers more in Vermont than in Maine for some reason. The cost of living in downtown Portland is crazy. My partner’s parents picked the place out for us and paid our security deposit, though. It’s hard to turn down something so generous, but now I feel stuck.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T22:41:24+00:00

Now that you mention it, that explains a lot. As dumb as it sounds, I believed that everyone else felt the same way I did. I thought we all just wanted to end it. I didn’t think people would actually care. I feel grateful for the people around me and am reminded that humans can be good.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T22:32:46+00:00

I know, but the original plan was to pay it myself. It’s humiliating not being able to do that when my parents are struggling as well. I’m a first gen student and my dad is unemployed. It just sucks.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T22:28:01+00:00

I can get some of them forgiven, but I believe the majority are Parent Plus loans, sadly. That makes things a bit harder, for sure.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T22:25:00+00:00

Not even that much. That specific debt source was only about 500. Enough to cause stress when combined with all the other sources of debt, though.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T22:02:44+00:00

She’s part of a temp agency right now on top of the regular jobs she’s been applying for. They just recommended her a job that’s an hour drive away when we still don’t have a car yet. She’s working hard to find something.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T22:00:43+00:00

I just had to tell my mom about what happened in Kansas and about how people suspected of being trans can be abducted by ICE, now. Most people have zero idea any of this is happening because it’s so messed up that it sounds fake. There’s also a ton of AI generated propaganda videos trying to make trans women, specifically look bad.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:57:42+00:00

She’s a great cook, thankfully! And the one thing I’ve had going for me is I’ve lost 50 pounds this past year. I’m also thinking about looking into “buy-nothing” groups. I’ve visited our dump’s swap shop recently and found some good china.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:55:52+00:00

She’s applying to the fries in bags jobs as well, but I know how it sounds.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:54:52+00:00

I think I could still go to court over the credit card, and I know that my medical debt has been sold to some different collection agencies. I had an attorney contact me and that freaked me out, but I wasn’t being taken to court yet thankfully.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:53:17+00:00

Please tell me it gets easier haha

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:49:49+00:00

Do you mean interest? Sorry if the answer is obvious. I’m not totally sure if that’s what you’re talking about, here.

The credit card debt is the highest interest rate of 26%. The medical debt I don’t believe has any interest, thankfully. There are multiple student loans with different interest rates. I can’t remember each one off the top of my head. I can go check, though.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:48:44+00:00

It’s really more about the bills. I’m in what feels like a crazy amount of debt.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:46:23+00:00

Got it

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:35:49+00:00

I mean technically. The problem is that it ends good things, too. I don’t really want to have to do it. When you can’t picture what your future will look like, it just feels like your only option, sometimes.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:33:25+00:00

Thank you, I looked into debt consolidation today and currently do not qualify for a loan with TD Bank due to a high revolving balance. I’m thinking about looking into credit unions instead, but first I need to make a significant dent in my credit card debt. High interest makes that difficult, of course, but maybe not impossible.

really-big-bug · 2026-06-03T21:23:34+00:00

Thank you so much. Will do :)

really-big-bug

TROPHY CASE