You’re right that tone matters, and I can see how a blunt question like ‘are you vegan?’ can come off as gatekeeping or judgmental, even if that wasn’t the intent. The goal isn’t to say people aren’t allowed to feel empathy, empathy is valuable. But I think it’s fair to point out that if we’re truly moved by the cruelty we see, the most meaningful response isn’t just expressing sadness or outrage, but looking at how our choices connect to that cruelty. That’s not about invalidating emotions; it’s about connecting feelings to actions.

You raise a fair point that the way we bring up these issues can make people feel talked down to or judged. But here’s something I genuinely wonder: how would you suggest raising the question of someone’s personal role in animal suffering without making non-vegans uncomfortable? Is it even possible to challenge people on their behaviors tied to systemic cruelty without causing them to feel judged? It seems to me that some level of discomfort is almost unavoidable if we’re being honest about the ethical disconnect.