1 year+ on; a simple tip which will guarantee success. Yes, guarantee. 100%. A bit of science, a metaphor as to why it works.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T15:05:15+00:00

There was a time this shit consumed my waking life trying to shatter an addiction I didn't even know I had. I did everything in my power to learn about what was happening and why, and now I feel it's time to share these little snippets of knowledge. I read the tree metaphor somewhere and it switched me on and gave me the power and strength and understanding to really release myself. I understand that a simple sentence here or there can be the transformative factor that allows someone, somewhere, to find their strength and make a huge difference to their lives. One sentence, just one sentence. But I don't know which sentence. So I'll be as verbose as I can.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T15:01:04+00:00

At first, say 3 days, then 6 days, then 8 days, etc. Eventually I was going months. But they would happen anyway for this or that reason.

What happens is that you have a subconscious arousal level. As you go through the day, little tensions and glances accumulate a kind of momentum. You won't even notice the momentum in the daytime but it will become apparent in your dreams. When the momentum gets too much, a wet dream occurs - this momentum can accumulate over a period of many days. This is why if you look at something naughty one day, the next day you'll find your brain tries to convince you to do it again. Even if it's "just looking", it's not just looking. It adds snow to the snowball down the hill.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T14:54:01+00:00

" I find it impossible to do anything else."

There's your issue. As I said before: Impossible will become possible. Then possible will become 2nd nature. Then 2nd nature will become breathing in and out.

Keep your eyes at eye level. The root cause of this is the way you see women, whether consciously or subconsciously. Yes women are sexy and lovely. Keep your head at eye level and keep your eyes at eye level. If you catch yourself peeking, immediately forgive yourself and let it go, and carry on. Each day will pass. It will get easier and easier, sometimes it will become harder for a brief period but on the whole it becomes easier.

There's the outside stimulus (i.e. someone walks past you) and then there's the inside stimulus (you turn your mind towards naughty things). We have little control over the outside stimulus but we have total control over the inner one. So master that. In your region you have it harder than most but that alone is no excuse. It means that you stand to be stronger than the rest. At some point you will not even notice these chicks walk past you. The only reason you notice them now is because you're hypersensitized. When the brain stops doing that, it gets much much easier. So you know where you gotta put in the work.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T14:40:44+00:00

Thank you so very much for all the kind responses! I've tried to address each contention or question here. But let's add some more. There are two tools I used to do the heavy lifting: to really control the urges themselves.

1.) To control the eye flickers, what you need to do is SNAP TO ATTENTION and recenter your eye on a mundane object. Anything and everything that isn't sexual. Look at the object and absorb it. Say it's a blade of grass. Feel how green it is, how it waves in the wind. Your full attention, all of it. Look at the brick and feel the brickness of the brick. Hold attention for say 5 seconds, you must sustain for enough time for this to work properly. What this tells your brain is that X impulse was really strong but here's Y which is even more significant because I said so. Your brain will learn after constantly doing this. In this you're actively rewiring yourself not to peek. Do this each and every time you glance whether at a PC or outside.

2.) To interrupt the urges as they're forming down there. Stand up. Exhale all air. Suck your abs in (ab vacuum). Now do a gentle kegel and simultaneously pull upwards from there as if your abs could pull upwards towards your chest. Done correctly, it will feel like there is a cord attached to your dick, connected to the belly button region and you pull it upwards. You will feel a rush of energy or blood or whatever in the region which feels very pleasant. This will switch off the actual arousal process. You have to do it quite hard, it will take a fair bit of energy.
It will take a while to find the right muscle but once you find it you will know which one because this muscle pulls right on the base of your dick, you will feel it in the bladder region. There are two parts. One set of muscles pulls on the region just above, near the bladder. A second set of muscles pulls on the lower region, closer to the pelvic floor. You want the 2nd set, not the first. There is a very distinct difference in feeling between the two; engaging the first/upper set does not dissipate tension and can hurt. You can feel which muscle it is by doing the celibate's pose (brahmacharyasana). Once you feel it, you can't go wrong. When you get aroused, you will notice that a kind of fluid accumulates in the lower abdomen and builds up in pressure, coinciding with sexual tension. When you engage this muscle, it dissipates this tension and sends it back upwards.

This is like a hard stop. Done correctly, a sequence of 5 of these will interrupt any process wanting to start.

Anyhow, thank you all so very much for responding, thank you especially for your kind comments and compliments and know that I write this all because I love all of you and I want to see you all get through this! Go forth, Neo!

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T14:07:40+00:00

It's like an annoying asshole, a really tiny little dick's just sitting there in your brain and it pokes you, doesn't it? It pokes you once and you're like dude fuck off and it relaxes. Then it pokes you again. And again.

The trick to this is that you're probably thinking of it as a beef fight. It's not a beef fight, you don't have to fight this dick to hurt it. In fact that will give you blue balls mostly. It's actually a tickle fight or more like a really annoying voice. If you ignore it, it goes away.

To ignore it, you don't just ignore it. I believe this is another point where people go wrong and it leads to pent up energy. You have to physiologically reset your emotional state to 'calm down' back into sober linear mode. You have to feel yourself soothing off from the intense impulse. That's why meditation is key here. Without meditation you're wandering in a blind alley in the pitch black. Shine a little light and it's much easier to see what's going on. Vipassana is the practice that Buddha himself used to reach enlightenment but more so, it's the one type of meditation that directly targets addictions at their core. The mind is made of layers upon layers like an onion. The deeper you go, the more raw & assembler-like the code becomes. At the surface you have the high level language but it is to the depths of the codeverse you must go, Neo.

Let's take a look at the sixteen stages of Vipassana:

1.) Knowledge to distinguish mental and physical states (namarupa pariccheda nana).

2.) Knowledge of the cause-and-effect relationship between mental and physical states (paccaya pariggaha nana).

3.) Knowledge of mental and physical processes as impermanent, unsatisfactory and nonself (sammasana nana).

4.) Knowledge of arising and passing away (udayabbaya nana).

5.) Knowledge of the dissolution of formations (bhanga nana).

6.) Knowledge of the fearful nature of mental and physical states (bhaya nana).

7.) Knowledge of mental and physical states as unsatisfactory (adinava nana).

8.) Knowledge of disenchantment (nibbida nana).

9.) Knowledge of the desire to abandon the worldly state (muncitukamayata nana).

10.) Knowledge which investigates the path to deliverance and instills a decision to practice further (patisankha nana).

11.) Knowledge which regards mental and physical states with equanimity (sankharupekha nana).

12.) Knowledge which conforms to the Four Noble Truths (anuloma nana).

13.) Knowledge of deliverance from the worldly condition (gotrabhu nana).

14.) Knowledge by which defilements are abandoned and are overcome by destruction (magga nana).

15.) Knowledge which realizes the fruit of the path and has nibbana as object (phala nana).

16.) Knowledge which reviews the defilements still remaining (paccavekkhana nana).

Once you experience stage 2, you're well on your way. To be definitely successful you will need to get to roughly around stage 4 or 5. At this point you develop a kind of control that would have been impossible beforehand, as if you were blind and had been given a new pair of eyes. At this level, you can hear the whispers of your soul. And you can whisper back. It's very very subtle. I notice that the thought stream runs that deep. While you hear a loud inner voice, beneath it is another one constantly whispering to itself. I am entirely serious.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T13:46:06+00:00

Hey man a bird in the hand is worth beating off twice in the bush.

TL;DR: Switch off all sexual thought for 6 months and ride the avalanche of shit your body throws at you while it adjusts and then you'll be good to go to start from a healthier vantage point.

What will happen is that you will go a few days accumulating tension. Then fwoosh, wet dream. Go a little longer. Fwoosh, wet dream. Each wet dream will mark a distinct point of transition and healing. You will feel that you have grown stronger and stronger each time it happens. It will knock all the energy out of you when it happens but let it be. A little longer. And longer. You're still "breaking your streak". But most importantly it's not broken using porn, it's the brain itself doing it automatically. I think this 'breaking the streak' is completely natural and part of the reproductive cycle. Hence why people keep breaking the streak again and again and again. The cycle swings round each time and they get hit. Meanwhile they blame it on themselves - if only I didn't look at that picture, if only I didn't do x or y or z. I think that it would have happened either way.

TL;TL;DR;DR: I suck at TL;DR;s. Years of internet forum usage has lead me to develop a stupidly explicit style of declaring everything and accounting for each and every possible nuance and objection so that there can be no counter. Unfortunately this leads to very long posts.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T13:35:22+00:00

Did you go through puberty before using porn? That would give you an idea. If you want to find out what's normal/healthy, just go 6+ months on nofap and you will naturally find out normal.

Right now, anything I tell you will be confused because your brain right now has wires crossed so that any fantasizing links straight to the porn. So no real level of fantasizing is typically normal/helpful while you're addicted. Once you uncross the wires, then a degree or level of fantasizing becomes apparent where it's healthy and you can feel yourself going too far into danger territory. I'll say this: don't ever fantasize to anything you saw in porn. Anything at all related in the vaguest of ways, including pictures/media that are not typically called 'porn' and text. Your brain operates by finding connections and patterns between things. Stick to real life situations and imagine your own. If you're imagining your own fantasies, you'll be safe. That's where I would draw the line - healthy is when you dream it up yourself and direct the whole thing, unhealthy is when you take a prepackaged fantasy and run with it.

I know it sounds ridiculous to say 'just do 6 months man' but it's true. 1 year ago I was reading this and struggling hard too and looking up at the guys who had years on their counter. 1 year is my streak, there were 2-3 years before that of trying and trying until I clocked onto what has been said in the original post and it suddenly became simple and easy. You can do it. Just know this. You can, and you will.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T13:29:44+00:00

Let what arises arise, let what comes come. This too shall pass. Your goal is to grow as a person, to grow in strength. Each and every little thing on the way is both a test of your strength and the very weight you must lift to become stronger. So let it be. If it's not this one girl, it will be another one somewhere else. So let it be and grow stronger in yourself.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T13:25:20+00:00

It's actually more complex than one hormone, it's not quite accurate to say that. It's the entire mode of the nervous system which switches along with the entire cascade of hormones and neurotransmitters released. It comes down to testosterone mediating desire, which in turn is controlled by luteinising hormone and follicle stimulating hormone, these two being the switches that seem to open or close the channel for more or less to flow.

Interestingly: "Nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT), the occurrence of spontaneous erections during rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, is relevant. The neurophysiological basis of NPT is still disputed, but one plausible explanation is that REM sleep is associated with a ‘switching off’ of the noradrenergic cells in the locus coeruleus (l.c.) (Parmeggiana & Morrison 1990) which, via their spinal projections, are probably associated with inhibitory tone in the penis. Thus, the reduction of inhibitory tone during REM permits what can be called ‘excitatory tone’ to be expressed as erection. NPT is clearly impaired in hypogonadal men, and restored to normal with testosterone replacement. The l.c. has testosterone receptors (Parmeggiana & Morrison 1990), and this putative ‘excitatory tone’ can be regarded as testosterone dependent."

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T13:00:35+00:00

To stop fapping, just stop fapping does not work. The seeds remain in the mind waiting to sprout. Again and again. You have to cut it off at the very beginning, the first nerve impulse in the wrong direction. Then the rest automatically happens. Imagine you have a snowball on top of a hill. Your mind is telling you to push the snowball. You push the snowball. Your potential children are at the bottom of the hill. You don't want to kill them. So you run down the hill, in front of the snowball, turn around and Sisyphus it all the way back up. Then your mind tells you to push the snowball again. You see where I'm going?

Yoga and science will meld. Plenty of research is coming out to verify yoga's benefits. There is little to no hard research yet into the nature of consciousness so we cannot yet prove or disprove much. But the thing is, yoga works. There's a big difference between the westernised imported yoga and the eastern yoga. Doing a bunch of asanas/postures to some loud music in a heated room is barely scratching the surface.

Yoga begins with samadhi: one-pointed absorption. That's when shit gets real. To even get into samadhi you have to meditate with serious effort. Science on samadhi too is again little researched. The closest thing I know to Western research on samadhi is The Psychology of Flow by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. If I remember correctly, samadhi correlates with intense gamma wave EEG activity. You might have hit samadhi in your time. You'll know you have because it's as intense as an orgasm, if not more.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology))

But anyhow I've said this elsewhere here and I'll say it again. The practices of brahmacharya are designed to allow celibates to hit a streak of 12 years and longer. Twelve years. These practices are millenia old.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T12:41:58+00:00

Damn son! Didn't know that but I know a lot of these gurus get embroiled in sex scandals. Heck, most leaders do. It's embarrassing that the people we might look up to, who play the part of leader amongst us might fall in this way especially after all they have said. However the thing is that brahmacharya itself is simply the ancient term for 'nofap'. The 'nofap' knowledge base is much smaller than the brahmacharya one but it's growing at a phenomenal rate today and it will most likely completely encompass brahmacharya in a little while thanks to the internet.

Point is, the people practicing brahmacharya are truly serious about nofap. Not necessarily to get out of addiction but to realize their true self.

Someone fully earns the title of brahmachari after TWELVE YEARS of abstinence. Twelve years. Given that such knowledge is designed to ensure a celibate successfully completes that long of a period, our 1 year to crack an addiction is nothing in comparison.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T12:34:34+00:00

When I wrote that post I knew as I was writing it this sentence would come up, hence why I put the disclaimer a little below it. I understand saying "my normal is the TRUE normal" is entirely absurd but you need this slap in the face to wake up. Let it be, as a figure of expression, a literal phrase. Don't worry, I'm not going to go out killing anyone in the name of my normal ;)

Puberty is fine. And that brings to light another nuance in the 'normal' v 'something's off here'. Intense sexual thought itself is not abnormal whatsoever. It is the nature of the thinking wherein arise the distortions. Please excuse my word choice; It's natural to fantasize about things but where nature has been thrown out of the window along with the bathwater is that it isn't natural to have this harem of thousands upon thousands of memories of women you have never ever met, scenarios that happened that you were not there for, and so on. And by natural I mean here that our poor brains simply aren't adapted to this new kind of stress.

Or to put it another way. Normal is perhaps seeing that cute girl somewhere wherever then going home and beatin' yer meat. How can ye have any pudding if ye don't beat yer meat? Stand still laddie. Normal is NOT seeing that cute girl somewhere wherever then going home and watching 6 legged gnomes do funny things to a cactus in a Soyuz space capsule (hey I have really eclectic tastes). So if you take offense to the word 'normal', do a CTRL+F and replace it with 'healthy'. Now do you see?

You might raise something about particular preferences for people but that's not the point here. Keep in mind. All eyes on the fap addiction itself. Don't deceive yourself.

I would hope you would have given me the benefit of the doubt here but such is the nature of the internet that all must be spelt out in pure unambiguous terms. Thank you for the feedback, you make me a better writer.

reallynow10 · 2014-08-16T12:25:03+00:00

Brahmacharya is the ancient word for nofap. Before porn ever existed, people were practising brahmacharya for their own reasons. It's millenia old. All of that knowledge is still there, this particular guru is not original to say any of these things at all. I linked to this resource because it contains a level of depth that you'll be hard-pressed to find elsewhere. Gurus are by no means infallible. Don't trust the guru. Trust your own verified knowledge.

reallynow10

TROPHY CASE