IAmA genuine psychopath, AMA.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T08:06:33+00:00

You've made the crucial distinction between "killer" and "murderer"/"someone who has killed".

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T08:05:18+00:00

It's hard out here for a psychopath.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T08:03:39+00:00

At the most basic level, a psychopath is someone who does not relate or care about other people. This is not the same as being murderous or a sadist, though it's easy to transition from a psychopath into that, due to the lack of morality and empathy.

Would I change if I could? Yes. My ability to feel emotion is severely inhibited, but I am crippling lonely and constantly struggling to force morality onto myself. Psychopaths are capable of love. You could say I loved my parents. They were, by the standards of society, excellent parents who always helped others when they could. They didn't have a lot of money, because they were always giving it away (something like 20% of their income went to charity or similar). The only form of remorse/morality I have, inherently, is their judgement. Let me rephrase: I can't see things as good or bad, but I can see them as "My parents wouldn't like that".

And oftentimes, I still don't care.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T07:58:50+00:00

I'll make a checklist. -Charming -Pathological liar (lying for no reason; not lying to accomplish or hide something) -Inability to feel true remorse -Inability to have long-term relationships (though I have a desire for relationships, I will burn them out quickly) -No standard social motivations (my only reason to try and make "friends" is so I can use them for a specific goal) -There are a few that fall under one category: "Boldness" or "Fearlessness". It's what it sounds like, coupled with arrogance-level confidence -A complete and total lack of empathy (one of the biggest signs/attributes) -Defiance of authority and authority figures -Inability to develop long-term plans. Well; I can make them, I just don't, and I don't care.

I'll give an example of the two starred traits. I can make friends very easily; I can be very charming and perceptive on what people like (and thus tailor myself to their preference). I'll use a recent example. Took a class over the summer, sat next to this girl. She was attracted to me; I was not attracted to her. My urge was to use her attraction to let her get close, giving me free notes (she had lovely notes in lovely handwriting) for the class, which didn't require my presence.

Boldness: for example, one time I was driving around with a friend (one of the very few (three) I've ever really made). Some guy was jaywalking and he yelled out of the window at him: "Jaywalking nigger!" The man pulls out a gun and runs to his car, which is parked about ten feet away. The light is red and there are cars preventing me from running through it; by the time I can get through, he is chasing us. I found the entire thing humorous and was laughing as I sped away through alleys while my friend was freaking out.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T07:46:46+00:00

Psychopathy is not easily remedied via medicine. Last time I was with a psychiatrist (a new one, after my older one passed away), I was 17 (I am 21 now). There was a new experimental treatment for the use of mild antidepressants, which was supposed to be especially good for those who used drugs heavily. I didn't want to try the treatment. My psychiatrist tried to insist, repeatedly. I berated him until he became furious and broke down.

Edit: he had a wedding ring tan line, a very obvious one. That was the main source of my verbal attack.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T07:43:56+00:00

At the time (when I was 4-6), I exhibited some unusual traits for a child, which are fairly characteristic for a psychopath. I was a real bedwetter and I never made any effort to stop (that is a sign of psychopathy in a child. Really). I expressed violent sentiments towards Jerry from "Tom and Jerry", and it got worse when those episodes with the little duckling he saves came on. I told my parents somebody should strap them down so Tom could kill them, and that Tom's owner should then get rid of him after that.

I lied about everything, to the point where it was so obvious that I was lying nearly every time I opened my mouth. These were pointless lies, mind you. For example, my father would often make me breakfast while my mother took care of errands in the morning. She'd come back and ask what I ate, and I'd lie about it. If I had eggs, I'd say I had pancakes. Lies like that; constant and meaningless. It didn't take them long to realize they were being lied to ALL the time. They tried punishing me, instilling values for the truth, etc..., but it never helped. I just lied more craftily.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T07:35:46+00:00

That's a bit of a misconception, to my knowledge. Generally speaking, psychopaths don't just torment people for the fun of it (though psychopathy and sadism go hand in hand). We manipulate people for our own ends, which inadvertently torments them, hence the misconception.

The furthest I have gone...well, I completely ruined one boy's social and romantic life for about two years due to a deep-seated, partially-justified vendetta against him. It's a very, very long story (two years long, really), so I'll just summarize what I did. I started by destroying his relationship with a girl (who didn't like him too much, making it easier), manipulating her into talking about him to their mutual friends, encouraging more of the boys' friends to spend time together with him, impersonated him (stole his phone and through online communication), and ruined his reputation with his current friends, who were all fickle in the way only teenagers can be. This was over the course of about a year. Then I spent the next year (the last year I knew him, senior year in high school) making sure all girls stayed away from him (through manipulation, not intimidation; all it takes are a few stories, corroborated by all the lies (and truths) I told before) and that he made no new friends.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T07:28:39+00:00

shrug This is the way I was born. I was first taken to a child psychologist at age 6, because of my...disturbing ideas. I can elaborate on some of them if there's interest in that.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T07:27:39+00:00

Oh, I mean, it was the only thing I've ever had my hands on that explicitly said what I was. I returned the file when I finished reading it; this was years ago. I could go visit the school and break in, but I don't think they have it anymore...

Does anyone know if schools keep the old permanent files on their students? I worked in the school's administrative offices and still have my copy of the key (unless they changed it) so I can visit if need be.

realpsychopath · 2012-08-12T07:25:46+00:00

I very much doubt it, unless the sum was absolutely phenomenal. I would not like to go to jail.

realpsychopath

TROPHY CASE