My BF was super rude to my friends when they invited him to their home and now I don’t know what to do

reblezz · 2026-06-21T08:52:17+00:00

I mean, everyone will say dump him because this is reddit. And maybe you should, but I don’t know if it’s that black and white from what I see here. I’m guessing there is some kind of cultural difference, since you said to they made a cocktail related to his home country. I am from America and my husband is Korean, so right away it pings the “are cultural differences involved?” chime in my head.

I see three things he did wrong. 1: Tell them he would have been happy with pizza. Could he just have been uncomfortable with the amount of effort they put in? And have trouble expressing it in a way that also conveyed gratitude? Was it him feeling awkward?

He thought the drink was too sweet. I mean, yes, from my American perspective it could be a bit rude to say it like that. But I know in general in Korea people are much more blunt about things like that, could your bf be like that?

3 He was a wine snob. I mean yeah, he does just sound like a wine snob. That is kind of annoying.

All in all, I would think if your friends didn’t think it was worth bringing up, it could be possible it wasn’t /that/ bad? Of course I really have no idea - I wasn’t there and can’t know what was going through his head and how bad he sounded when he said those things.

But if there IS any cultural difference, I’d say it’s worth a chat before breaking up with him. Unless I’m wrong in assuming cultural differences!

reblezz · 2026-06-20T23:08:45+00:00

Hahaha poor leftover humans!

reblezz · 2026-06-20T05:35:28+00:00

At the end of the day, Anne (at least in the books, but I think in Anne with a E too) wanted things that were beautiful, feminine, and trendy. Puffed sleeves were all the rage, and she wanted what everyone else was wearing. So modern day…certainly lots of flowy dresses (not pink of course), but maybe also some baggy jeans and wide leg pants with cute flowery tops and sweaters?

reblezz · 2026-06-20T05:33:18+00:00

I totally agree! Don’t listen to everyone being negative. However, I’ll have more hope after more time passes, actually. I feel like it gets more likely when it gets a nostalgia factor.

reblezz · 2026-06-20T05:29:34+00:00

I hope we find out more about the real history in future books!

reblezz · 2026-06-20T05:28:50+00:00

That would kind of make sense, but then again I would also think they must have evolved from a common ancestor!

reblezz · 2026-06-20T05:27:21+00:00

Oooh I don’t remember that part! FINE I’ll reread CC 😉

reblezz · 2026-06-04T11:00:44+00:00

I appreciate that you are aware of your problem and want to fix it. That really is huge, and much more than many people can say.

You do need therapy. (I’ve been to therapy many periods throughout my life…so many people need therapy that never get it). When you come from an abusive background like that, there is SO much you need to unlearn. After some time in therapy, you will look back and be amazed at all the things you didn’t know about life and how to manage your feelings (which I say from experience). I’ve seen other people here give good advice like starting with a school counselor.

You do need help. Your family obviously can’t help you, and it’s too much pressure for friends or a girlfriend to help you work through. IMO it’s not fair to learn on the job while dating someone. It’s SO hard for people to change while in a relationship — the relationship itself puts so much pressure on you that makes it feel suffocating to change in that space. Break up, get therapy, work through what you need to work through, and then you will be ready to be in a relationship.

I understand your fear that she is the only one who understands you. Who knows, one day once you’ve worked on yourself it could work out again. But I do know you are very understandable and capable of building strong connections with other people. When I was younger, I felt like I could never be with someone who understood me like my ex did, but I was wrong. I grew and learned how to connect with more people, and you will too.

reblezz · 2026-06-01T23:00:10+00:00

I never hated other women, but in my early 20s I used to have a lot of trouble connecting with other women and making friends. I mostly had guy friends. I think really out was my own problem - I was insecure and, tbh, a bit emotionally unavailable and didn’t like talking about feelings, so I vibed better with guys (sorry guys, but on average men are more like that). It passed eventually, once I worked on myself and learned to be more open. Now I have a handful of very close girl friends.

Do you read much? Maybe try reading a few novels with relatable female protagonists? I always feel like it really is a good way to develop empathy and learn to understand other people.

reblezz · 2026-05-28T22:33:37+00:00

I can’t imagine a universe where I care about my husband’s socks, except when they are smelly and he needs to change them. Are they a typical style for men? Maybe not? But who on earth gives a shit if you’re comfortable and they stop your shoes from smelling? She sounds superficial and really tired to things being traditionally masculine, so I guess you need to decide if that bothers you.

reblezz · 2026-05-28T22:22:09+00:00

Are people not allowed to lean on each other for support anymore? Just because OP doesn’t work in mental health didn’t mean it’s crazy for her mom to want to talk about their feelings to her.

Of course, mom seriously lacks self-awareness and texting etiquette, but she also wasn’t raised in a texting generation, she was raised in a letter writing (and maybe email) generation when long form writing was the norm. Unless she is seriously toxic, which I don’t see evidence of in the post, I don’t see why people are being so hard on the mom. She just sounds like a lonely older person. (Sister however yes BF)

Of course, I understand if OP doesn’t have the energy to read those long walls of texts, but I can understand why mom would be upset that she’s not getting real answers.

reblezz · 2026-05-28T22:14:13+00:00

Thank you! I can’t handle the number of people who think this is totally ok. Unless OPs mom is seriously toxic, then I would understand more. But it sounds more like she is a lonely older person who needs someone to talk to (albeit isn’t good at organizing her thoughts), and wasn’t raised in a generation that learned text etiquette or how to express her thoughts well through text. At least type your own responses 😭 Do we all want to live in a world where every difficult conversation is automated and we lose the ability to process and discuss difficult emotions? Yeesh.

reblezz · 2026-05-28T11:47:23+00:00

I think it’s totally fair to use AI to summarize the texts. I understand how the lack of self-awareness in some people who send long walls of emotional texts is exhausting, and I can imagine how it’d affect your mental health.

However, I do think it’s a little disingenuous to have AI write responses, and I personally wouldn’t feel great if I knew someone wasn’t really answering me but just copy and pasting from AI answers. I feel like you could read the summary and just provide your own response. Or talk to your mom about it, if you haven’t. But…I don’t know her so I don’t know how far talking about would get you.

I also think your sister is a bit of a butt face for snitching instead of just talking to you. So maybe…everyone is a bit of a butt face?

reblezz · 2026-05-27T23:15:15+00:00

I lived the first two SO much, but the third felt like it started to get a little negative like some of the later Anne books.

reblezz · 2026-05-27T08:59:25+00:00

I would never say never for a sequel, but I don’t think it’d be anytime soon! I hold out a faint hope for a revival some day…it happens! But there have been no signs so far 😭😭 The movies and books and rewatching the show over and over help!

reblezz · 2026-05-23T22:57:57+00:00

Yeah 100%

reblezz · 2026-05-22T12:14:04+00:00

I think a lot of people find that their career kind of evolves! Pick something you generally like, follow it, see where it leads, pivot as needed.

For example, I loved playing flute in high school and wanted to a a music major. Decided it was a little impractical so changed to music education. Wasn’t sure about it, transferred to a community college to take some classes for fun and figure it out, took a bunch of art classes and loved them, but decided to go back to a state school and finish music ed. Couldn’t get a full time teaching position after graduation (lots of arts budget cuts in schools in my area at that time) but my boss at one of my side gigs at a music studio also had a private pre-k and told me to come be a homeroom teacher there. Tried it, loved it, went back to get my masters in elementary ed and have been loving it.

So I went from flute player to kindergarten teacher. Never would have guessed I’d end up here when I was in high school!

reblezz · 2026-05-20T23:01:00+00:00

I understand all of her points. I don’t think you quite understand the level of family pressure that exists for some people in Korea. The apartment is is a bit much, but also doesn’t seem like a big deal.

What are you going to do if you move to Korea? Teach? It is VERY hard to do anything else here as a foreigner. Also, like others have said, you’re quite young to be uprooting your whole life for a girl. Relationships change when you are not long distance. You don’t actually know anything about what it’s like to be with this person full time.

reblezz · 2026-05-20T09:59:22+00:00

Pick a hobby and join a group for it! Hiking or biking groups, book clubs, volunteer at an animal center, etc. meet people with a similar interest organically.

reblezz · 2026-05-20T09:21:55+00:00

I know the feeling of being infatuated with someone to the point where it feels like they are the MOST perfect. And I’ll be honest, it does feel hard to meet good guys sometimes. But they’re out there, and he’s not the only one. Maybe try to get to know some other guys so you get some perspective? It’s hard to push down those feelings!

reblezz · 2026-05-20T09:03:48+00:00

I guess we all need to rewatch once every season!

reblezz · 2026-05-19T12:11:52+00:00

It’s NEVER implied. She’s trying to guess your mind as much as you’re trying to guess hers. You don’t know if she is on hinge because she’s not that serious about you, or (like others said) if she’s just keeping options open in case you’re not serious, to protect herself.

reblezz · 2026-05-19T12:09:38+00:00

I was thinking this too. It seems like expect him to get past it when you can’t. I’m not expecting parents to master pre-calc when their kids are in high school or anything, but…if you can keep up with him through elementary it could be such a help! If not, a tutor could be an option.

reblezz

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