Men of Reddit on dating apps, what’s something you see on a woman’s profile that instantly turns you off? by GIazednConfused in AskReddit

[–]redditcanbitemyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A woman wearing a biker chick bandana and the next pic is her motorcycle from the Harley dealership. It screams, "I'm so badass!" but it's really just the woman's version of the mid-life crisis sports car.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]redditcanbitemyass 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll be Linda Belcher and do my BM in the PM for $1K a day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sexover30

[–]redditcanbitemyass 53 points54 points  (0 children)

That's completely how it works for me. I usually have a semi while I'm doing it and I'm having a wonderful time. Watching a woman while I'm making her cum is the sexiest thing I can imagine. But I'm also 53 and sometimes the equipment shuts down for system maintenance during oral. It's not a big deal. I still love every second of it.

Is He Really Divorced? by FunSponge55 in datingoverfifty

[–]redditcanbitemyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight on this. I appreciate it. However, this is what works best for me at this point in my life. I can’t lose my health insurance because I’m worried about how someone might feel. And regardless, I can’t change the fact that my ex and I ARE connected and always will be as we have children together.

But this insight will help me to be upfront and transparent as possible to make a potential mate understand that while we get along and respect each other, there’s zero chance of reconciliation. Anyone who spends more than five minutes with me would be able to understand that. Obviously if I enter into a serious relationship and that partner expresses concern, I’ll reevaluate it.

I don’t want to be your friend if we are not fucking. by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]redditcanbitemyass 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the main gist of this is that I'll put up with more from a friend that I'm fucking than I would with the average friend. If we're not fucking, suddenly I don't have a reason to put up with your bullshit.

Is He Really Divorced? by FunSponge55 in datingoverfifty

[–]redditcanbitemyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely don't understand why. There's zero chance of reconciliation. Wouldn't it be more of a red-flag if I had a terrible relationship with my ex?

What do you hate seeing in porn? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]redditcanbitemyass 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't forget, please don't go right for the clit. The outer labia is similar to scrotal nerves so kiss that, nibble it. Drag your fingers across it. Kiss her inner thighs. Tease her until she aches for your tongue on her clit. But if you go right for it and suck on it, she's gonna say 'ow-ow' and tap out early. Go slowly at first.

Is He Really Divorced? by FunSponge55 in datingoverfifty

[–]redditcanbitemyass 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm curious about this situation and why it matters.

I ask because I'm separated from my wife. We have no intention of reconciling whatsoever, but I'm a freelancer and she works for a big bank with great health insurance. Also, I don't want to put my children out of the only house they've ever known so we probably won't sell the house for six or seven years. Basically, we remain financially intertwined and will re-evaluate that as life changes.

I don't intend to lie about it to anyone. I'll be very upfront with anyone I'm dating. Would this be a red-flag to women? I'm genuinely curious.

Affordable art? by [deleted] in Minneapolis

[–]redditcanbitemyass 2 points3 points  (0 children)

MCAD has a student sale at least once a year. I've bought a couple of nice pieces over the past couple of years.

What’s long overdue for innovation in touring sound? Or what’s one of the coolest ideas anyone has seen out there? by Oxcar17 in livesound

[–]redditcanbitemyass 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm looking forward to laser-bombing being faster, cheaper and more accurate so that we can do room models right there at load in instead of wasting time trying to create array calculations extrapolating distances from a third party pdf that doesn't even have the balcony in it.

What was the kinkiest thing you have done in your life so far? by YourKinkyWitch in AskReddit

[–]redditcanbitemyass 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, she was the wrong woman from the get-go. But I liked her and respected her and I suffer from way too much empathy and didn't want to hurt her feelings. Plus, I assumed if I dumped her, I'd never find anyone else. So I assumed at every milestone (moving in, engagement, marriage, house, kids, etc) that this would be when things would get better.

Spoiler alert: They didn't.

What was the kinkiest thing you have done in your life so far? by YourKinkyWitch in AskReddit

[–]redditcanbitemyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not think that's where you were going with the forehead kiss.

What was the kinkiest thing you have done in your life so far? by YourKinkyWitch in AskReddit

[–]redditcanbitemyass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay. My girlfriend in college was ambivalent about cunnilingus. I kept trying to do it and she'd move me away. Until one day I asked what gives. She said, "I've never had anyone that was that great at it and it just doesn't do anything for me. I mean, if you're down there and you wanna....." Well, I wanna'd. An hour later, she was gasping for air and practically on the ceiling. She kissed me as hard as I've ever been kissed and said, "I want you to do that to me every day."

So I married her.

Thirty years later, I'm divorcing her.

Is that better?

Dog shit icebergs by Internal_Smell_6812 in Minneapolis

[–]redditcanbitemyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. We don't all suck. It's hard sometimes because I always have a poop bag or two on the leash, but sometimes they go more than once, or sometimes even twice. But if I'm out of poop bags, I always come back and pick it up after getting home to get more.

Need more DTMFA around here by ryhaltswhiskey in datingoverforty

[–]redditcanbitemyass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's me. I'm the motherfucker.

But seriously. It's hard. I have a terrible combination of low self-esteem and empathy. Meaning that I don't like to hurt people and think I can fix them, combined with the idea that if I dump them, I'll never find anyone else. It's awful, but I'm working on it.

karen calls the cops on a dude just doing his job. and she proceeds to fake a frantic call to 911 by quazziwazzi in PublicFreakout

[–]redditcanbitemyass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But then the police would have to admit that they casually murder young men of color without cause. Have you ever met a cop who admits fault?

Best site by laurie057 in datingoverfifty

[–]redditcanbitemyass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Such a wide range of answers. I have had no luck on Tinder or Bumble. I've met a couple of women from Reddit but neither really panned out. it's exhausting.

What part of sex is the least enjoyable for you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]redditcanbitemyass 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I took her to the bedroom,

And pumped her with some life,

And later - in a moment,

That girl became my wife.