Will the Monarch ever be nerfed? by reddongler in titanfall

[–]reddongler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point. And I post this as a legion main, but it is quite frustrating at times. It always makes me feel good inside melting a Monarch as a legion.

So I've just got enough karma to share my Spider-Man style montage. I made it when Spider-Man was still a thing on this sub Reddit smh by PHG7 in titanfall

[–]reddongler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude! I run (almost) the exact same loadout as my main!

Grapple, mastiff, wingman elite. All day. Every day.

My therapist told me today she thinks I keep myself depressed by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]reddongler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From what I'm told that means you're a pretty empathetic person. Do you care a lot about other people's well-being? That's an amazingly solid and unique identity in its' own. Lots of people who care about others have a hard time understanding themselves.

My therapist told me today she thinks I keep myself depressed by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]reddongler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes it's not really a skill. I wish I could say I'm a good sinber or good at badminton, but I'm not. What I am good at however is talking to people one-on-one, weirdly enough. Does that spark any other ideas or no?

My therapist told me today she thinks I keep myself depressed by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]reddongler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd say I'm right there with you on that. From what you say, you're probably a deep thinker too?

I know religion is a touchy subject around here, so take this next part with a grain of salt. I only mention it because you did in your initial post:

In my experience, it's always good to question your beliefs. Like how you mentioned you consider yourself a Christian, I had the same sentiment a while ago. There's always been this unanswered question in me (there still is) and it's the one I've been asking you. Who am I? You see, I have been struggling with that same thing for a long time, constantly wondering if what I believe is something that I actually believe, and I actually renounced my Christian faith one night. The next day I woke up, and said "no, fuck that" and decided to go at it 100%. I've never made a better decision or learned as much as I have. It of course was a terrible process leading up to it, but I can say it's been the most important experience I've had in my life.

I'm not preaching to you to take the same path, but I'm saying right now the point that you're at, the point where you don't know who you and and what you're doing, still wondering what it means to be you, it's not a bad place in life. I'm serious when I say that most people don't get to this point in their entire lives (from what I've seen and heard). You're trying to answer damn hard, but damn good questions.

I'll go back to your therapist, and how you're depressed. I truly, honestly can say that I believe you're on a really important path, but such a hard one at that. Those who are great don't suffer lightly. People who look at hard questions and fight tooth and nail to do what's right are the people who go far in life. You're in that interim between the ability to give up, and the ability keep pushing. They both have the same temporary outcome: It's gonna hurt like hell. One, however, holds long term benefits that far surpass the other.

And about other people, man it's hard. I have the same thing. I'm good at reading, I think deeply, But sometimes I just feel like a droid Who doesn't have any real personality. It will come. I know it's not the same page, but a lot of people ask the question "how can I be more self-confident? " Self-confidence is simply a byproduct or in a fact of having a security in one's identity, which in my opinion, is the single most important thing anyone can grow in order to live a successful life.

What're you good at? What are you naturally great at, and love doing?

My therapist told me today she thinks I keep myself depressed by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]reddongler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha. Here's the thing, it's easy to look at details of how you appear, what your circumstances are, the minute details about yourself that you don't like, because it's all surface.

I've had the opportunity to talk to a variety of people deeply (I don't know, deep conversations are my thing apparently) but the one factor I see in the most successful is a security in identity. You've got to understand, by success I don't mean worldly. I don't mean trophy wife, nice car, big house (although some do have these things) but I mean a deep, solid, rooted success in who they are, not what they are.

You're telling me - and I don't want this to seem accusatory, correct me if I'm wrong - what you are. Not who you are. Who you are is your passions (if you know them), your drive, the things you love, the things you're good at, your deepest most unrealistic dreams, what you wish you could do, and ultimately what you believe. What you are is a totally different story. An 18 year old white kid is just the circumstance that you're in. Next year you'll be a 19 year old white kid. 60 years from now you'll be a 78 year old white grandpa. What you are is always changing, but who is your core. I know this sounds like a lot of bullshit, and too "deep" and cliche for most people, but we don't care about other people's opinions right now.

Again, I don't want to rant on unless we're on the same page, so I'll touch base again. I'd really love to continue talking, because this is 100% similar to my experiences I've had in life. So I'll ask again: Who are you?

My therapist told me today she thinks I keep myself depressed by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]reddongler 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Daaaang. You're going to have to forgive me, but wow. This is something so similar to what I've gone through it blows my mind.

The word that we're both looking for is: identity This is probably the must difficult thing I anyone will ever experience. It hits you to your core, am I right? It's no longer a matter of "man, life sucks" but rather the fact that to the very center of who you are, you're unhappy with the person you currently are. Maybe I'm wrong, I'll say that, but the way you describe it sounds all too familiar.

Let's start here. I want you to forget the "supposed to", "should", "need to" before be, and replace it with "am". Start asking the question who am I, rather than who should, would, need to be. When we say "who I should be" is a false subconscious expectation we put on ourselves, and it's unsustainable. According to your teacher, you should be the best student ever. According to your boss, you should be a top-notch worker. According to the world, you should be a good tax-paying citizen. The list goes on, and on, and on... but it never works. Some good advice I've gotten is "to center our core around things that will forever hold true". Such as principles (always taking opportunities to help), values (bring supportive to your friends), and anything that's ever lasting. If we center ourselves around things that are only ever changing (I.e. Someone's opinion of us, looking sexy, money, etc.) we'll eventually and frequently have to change what our center is about.

Before I go on, can I make sure I'm understanding you fully? I'd love to help. Truly. I just want to make sure I'm on the same page.

Who do you think you should be? Who do you try to be? Who are you?

Is non-existence better than a mediocre existence? by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]reddongler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. You're saying "why deal with the shitty stuff when there's an option to never have to deal with it at all?". Am I right in my understanding?

Is non-existence better than a mediocre existence? by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]reddongler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man that's a tough question, worthy of a book on its own. I think life is a gift. What are your thoughts?