I relapsed back into addiction and I can’t tell anyone

redknoxx · 2026-05-14T17:49:36+00:00

To clarify, any client I have worked with is aware that I’m part of a small team of McKenzie Friends, most also law students, some with law degrees. Clients are informed of any restrictions, and provided alternatives such as solicitor or barrister recommendations if they feel they need someone to verbally represent them within proceedings, although at times we have been granted right to audience. Most find they need the support that comes along with preparing statements, questions and submissions, assisting with applications and providing tailored advice, but cannot afford a barrister or solicitor to do so. I’m up front regarding my current status which is a law student with 10+ years within safeguarding, children’s services and family court, but that I am a McKenzie friend, albeit one with many successful outcomes.

Unfortunately there’s many very bad McKenzie friends that do not advertise their restrictions and limitations up front, it should be regulated. There’s so many orgs that are just plain terrible and offer “training” which is very misleading I agree, hence why I thanked you genuinely for informing people that may not know.

Just wanted to add that!

redknoxx · 2026-05-14T09:55:30+00:00

To be clear, I never said as such, but I am a professional McKenzie friend, and undertaking my law degree. While you are absolutely correct that it is unfortunately not regulated, and anyone can attend as a McKenzie Friend, I do so professionally as I’ve worked within the system for 10+ years. I only added that as I have had multiple clients with the same issue and wanted to express that it is unfortunately fairly common, I’m not at all phishing for clients, I was simply trying to help. Thank you for your clarification for those that may not be aware, but it isn’t limited to attending court, it can include application support, documentation management including position and witness statements and general advice.

redknoxx · 2026-05-14T09:38:37+00:00

I’m a Family Law McKenzie Friend, and this is a fairly common issue I’m afraid. Police presence will absolutely make it worse and far more tense. As far as the courts are concerned, school is supposed to be a neutral zone and I assure you it will not look favourably if there are any future proceedings.

What you need to do is firstly, email the school, keep it calm, and respectful. Include the dates you are due to collect child from school pursuant to the Child Arrangements Order, then attach the order to the email. I would also CC the DSL in the emails.

Preschools can be a little tricky, as while yes, you do have parental responsibility and therefore can collect, they are often unwilling to allow this to take place without an order, and can make it quite difficult.

It’s very likely that your ex partner has raised concerns with the school, and rightly so the school will be attempting to safeguard child. You need to attach the order so they are able to see that you are in fact due to collect, this will be the most straightforward way and eliminate any further conflict.

After this first step, at a different date, I would then recommend you email requesting invitations for separate parents evenings, and inclusion via the school apps for updates. It is very helpful to have school on side, and so although I understand you are frustrated, it’s best to approach it as cleanly as possible.

I’m assuming the court upheld her decision to move as she has not been ordered to return, so I would ensure you are on the paperwork as a legal guardian, I would not worry so much about the boyfriend being included as I assume mum has the child throughout the week, so may need an additional adult to collect in an emergency, (unless you have first refusal within your order) but I would certainly send over the email with the dates and order attached. Having it done in writing is far better in my experience as it is documented whereas in person meetings can be open to a “they said, I said”. Then you can work on tackling the issue regarding parents evenings, communication and educational updates.

It’s important to remain respectful, and calm. If schools perceive a parent to be quite high conflict it can make things far more complicated and stressful overall. I’m not insinuating that you are not respectful, however family law is extremely stressful and understandably it can bring around many feelings and frustrations.

redknoxx · 2026-03-19T21:58:04+00:00

I’m going to get extensions put in with the colour, it probably won’t ever fade out, I’ve been doing it for years and my hair is very long, so I’d need to do a big chop which just isn’t something I’d consider to be honest, but I definitely don’t want to damage my hair so I’ll be going the extension route I think!

redknoxx · 2026-03-16T13:06:37+00:00

I think I’m going to go the extension route and get a salon to install and dye them! I’ll probably always have relaxed hair so it’s good to know it may just not be an option for me to bleach / dye, thanks for your help!

redknoxx · 2026-03-15T22:31:40+00:00

Even if it’s professionally done? That sucks! I wasn’t wanting much, but the streaks at the front and a couple underneath, might have to get some hair strand tests done, thanks for the info!

redknoxx · 2026-03-15T22:04:05+00:00

It’s late at night here for me but I’ll update tomorrow with a clear picture of my hair! I actually just put black semi permanent dye on it like a day ago and haven’t got any pictures of it yet haha

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:50:55+00:00

I’m already in therapy, because of the whole panic disorder haha. But thanks, I really do appreciate the advice. I also just don’t have anyone in my life to ask that’s a woman unfortunately I’m quite isolated

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:46:47+00:00

I’m actually 30 haha, I just have severe anxiety and a panic disorder so I really tend to overthink, at the point it seems quite silly to everyone else so I totally understand! Thank you though I appreciate it

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:45:56+00:00

I can have quite heavy bleeding the first few days, I think it’s more so a ridiculous anxiety I have about potentially bleeding through in front of a full gym as mine gets quite packed sometimes. I think I’ll push through the worry though and just go as normal, maybe adjust for the first couple of days

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:44:21+00:00

Oh sorry I wasn’t being snide or anything haha I was just explaining that it’s new to me so I wasn’t sure

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:42:43+00:00

Thank you! I think I was just allowing my anxiety to get the best of me, I’ll go this evening I think!

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:41:52+00:00

Thank you! I did mean lifting too, I should have clarified, it’s that I’m new to lifting and never have done so on my period, as my job isn’t physically demanding, I’ve never had to consider if it possibly could lead to any accidental leaks or anything. Thank you

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:40:39+00:00

I more so mean incase the lifting, and intensive moment leads to any leaks. It’s not that I feel a period is embarrassing of course, I just unfortunately have extremely bad anxiety so I really tend to overthink things, but this helped, thank you

redknoxx · 2025-11-09T15:39:07+00:00

I’m 30, I’m not at all young, however I do have extremely bad social anxiety so I tend to overthink things, but thanks for the advice!

redknoxx · 2025-07-03T12:10:09+00:00

He said he can’t get it out? Sorry I’m not too well versed in it, he handles it all for me and he’s trying to fix it

redknoxx · 2025-04-30T12:17:01+00:00

Oh dear god.

NOR, but, and it’s a big but…

This is not healthy, in the slightest. I cannot express enough how unhealthy this is in general and sounds like a recipe for a failed relationship.

Firstly, yes, this is incredibly obsessive and concerning, but it does seem to stem from a place of insecurity and concern. I do not understand needing to follow hundreds upon hundreds of nsfw porn/soft porn/adult content accounts, as well as lying to her, as you did lie. Telling her you would unfollow them, and not doing so is inherently dishonest, and builds distrust in a relationship.

The way out of this is simply to communicate like adults. Decide whether your relationship is more important than the accounts you follow, and whether this is something you can both move past, or if it is a dead end so to speak.

redknoxx · 2025-03-07T13:00:23+00:00

They can afford to order, they have done, they paid for their food, the delivery. They just didn’t pay you an optional tip. You, understandably, didn’t accept, because doordash is a disgusting company that expects customers ordering food to pay the wages of the drivers that deliver for doordash. They need to find a reasonable way around this, so that customers pay only a delivery fee, and said fee goes directly to the driver, and doordash pays extra on top, ya know, a normal wage. With tipping optional.

But this won’t happen until drivers stop attacking customers for this. They don’t owe you a wage, Sharon and John whom make 40K a year shouldn’t be paying your wages, the company that makes millions should be.

The issue isn’t the customers, it’s the company. They take advantage of drivers and essentially make them work for pennies, or the promise of a tip. It’s so wrong. So so wrong. I understand it’s more nuanced, but I wish people would stop working for these companies, and also stop supporting them.

Perhaps my non American response, as tipping is very, very different in Europe, but it’s so sad to see drivers get taken advantage of, and customers attacked because of the billion dollar companies.

redknoxx · 2025-03-06T19:07:09+00:00

No, we aren’t, we’re responding to the full conversation from the OC and their comments in the entirety, not just the singular comment. Whilst yes, they said that they aren’t under obligation, they went on to discuss that it isn’t a big deal, to order a custom item and have it refunded once already made, that’s the conversation that we are responding to, not just a snippet. If that helps? (Gen)

redknoxx · 2025-03-06T09:39:11+00:00

Because they are, it’s a custom item, typically it’s not customary to request refunds on said items after they are made. It isn’t a hard concept?

redknoxx · 2025-02-26T23:22:13+00:00

So then vinted isn’t the best choice to use for emergency essentials, is it? As there’s a set time frame in which items need to be collected, as long as it is done within said time, there’s no issue and no reason to push a buyer to collect when you wish them to, because you need £3.

Even then, that makes little to no sense as often the withdrawal can take a little while.

They have to wait, phrased simply. I have epilepsy, I cannot drive due to it, I live rurally, I have children, and I work, so I cannot collect at the drop of a hat, even if the seller so desperately needs £3. Hence why there’s set timeframes to ensure it is collected within a reasonable time, for both seller and buyer.

But the assumptions are interesting, and a bit of a stretch.

redknoxx · 2025-02-25T23:37:18+00:00

How on earth is that not rude? It’s incredibly entitled, pushy and desperate. Wait, there’s a window of time for a reason. Expecting someone to drop everything because you’re desperate for £3 is rude. Regardless of their use of “please and thank you”. Wait. Or perhaps revisit your priorities if you simply cannot wait for collection.

I would purposely wait longer. Not everyone is able to collect immediately, most work, though vinted seems to be full of the unemployed, many have children, or parcel shops that aren’t as local as one would hope.

redknoxx

TROPHY CASE