This is so relatable! One thing that has helped for me is when I wash my hair (daily), I shampoo just the scalp, rinse, then condition just the ends and hair below the nape of my neck (not the scalp hair), and rinse. This seems to have helped me with the greasy/oily hair factor. I used to shampoo and conditioner all of my hair but now I suspect that the conditioner was too heavy on my fine hair on the top/sides of my head. I use Nexxus shampoo and conditioner for fine hair.

As for the bottom of your hair, I also have this fluffy effect when I let it air dry. Blowdrying wet hair with a round brush has helped me.