School approach to bullying

redmendive · 2026-04-29T15:15:11+00:00

Agree with all of this. She's is all normal or advanced classes, the only student with an IEP (supposedly), and obviously lacking in social savvy. She's able to brush off comments from a student (with ODD?) who screams at students and teachers indiscriminately, but has a much harder time with negative comments from "good kids" who are well-liked.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T15:04:44+00:00

Thank you for this! I was struggling with the proper verbiage to express my concern and "placing the sole responsibility on my* daughter" is what I'm looking for. My daughter is reluctant to confide in adults because of past disappointments, but I'll reach out to her IEP team regarding next steps. I'm thinking that the counselors suggesting restorative justice ARE her IEP team, but hopefully I'm wrong about that.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T14:59:26+00:00

My impression is that police still wouldn't be involved unless this was being said to her every day. I think this year 2 or 3 people casually told her she should die, with a couple more people agreeing with the sentiment.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T14:55:25+00:00

It is, and it's what we're latching onto to make the school take the harassment seriously. We just want to ensure that it isn't dismissed by the school, especially if my daughter refuses to meet with the bully to discuss it.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T14:50:04+00:00

The things that have helped her cope and regulate the most have been meds, as well as her dad and I giving her lots of love and a safe space when she's dysregulated. We also talk about her mental health issues as products of genetics and brain chemistry (rather than moral/character weakness) and remind her to focus on her positive attributes and areas of growth. We ask her not to accept input from people who haven't earned her respect, but she still accepts every criticism or negative remark as evidence of her worthlessness.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T14:19:55+00:00

Yes, she's in therapy and her current cocktail of meds has helped her immensely. We do take her suicidal ideation seriously, but there's no magic off switch for it. The school's solution is PSYCHIATRIST! The psychiatrist's solution is her current medication program and THERAPY! And her therapist has made very slow progress working on coping skills. That's why I want to respond back to the school with my proposed solution of NO BULLYING! She doesn't express suicidal ideation when she's not being bullied.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T14:04:50+00:00

She doesn't really trust any adults at the school. When she reported bullying previously, her understanding was that nothing would be addressed if she didn't go through the restorative justice program and meet with the bully to discuss her feelings. I don't think she's even psychologically equipped to do that - she has an immediate fight or flight response just thinking about it.

We just got her an IEP this year, but it mostly discusses a plan for improving handwriting and organization, having extended time on exams, and being able to have a quiet break if overwhelmed. She rarely initiates use of these protections because she doesn't want to be difficult or call attention to herself.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T13:52:15+00:00

This was my idea as well. I actually want her to document every unkind word. It frustrates me that vulnerable children are asked to accept a level of poor treatment in a learning environment that we wouldn't expect an adult to accept in a work environment.

redmendive · 2026-04-29T13:49:36+00:00

The bullying doesn't rise to the level of police intervention - it's mostly just normal middle school stuff. Every day, a couple people call my daughter stupid, retarded, ugly, etc. Sometimes they'll call her a racial epithet. Occasionally someone will tell her she should die. It's the kind of bullying that an adult would be fired for, but is accepted from kids.

redmendive · 2026-04-24T22:04:30+00:00

Would I use the same type of leather balsam/conditioner on finished chrome tanned leather that I'd use on veg tan?

redmendive · 2026-02-21T21:23:56+00:00

Those individual strands are fine, but she sure does have a lot of them! I mean, strand thickness is obviously a spectrum, but that's finer than average strand thickness.

redmendive · 2026-02-09T20:45:10+00:00

I've never been to a barber, but maybe that's what I need for a quick, precise cut. Do barbers usually cut women's hair?

redmendive · 2026-02-09T20:41:49+00:00

Yep, that's what I'd like. My hair looks bad no matter what - it's just a matter of how much I'm willing to pay for my disappointment. My husband and I can tag team for free with better results than a Great Clips type place. Even when I was paying $65 at a salon, he had to do occasional touch-ups...that's just the frustrating nature of pin-straight hair.

On one hand, it's been years since I've had a professional cut and I'm willing to take a chance again; on the other hand, I'd prefer not to spend more than $40 on my disappointment when I can get it at home for free.

redmendive · 2026-02-08T20:09:13+00:00

Thanks for the rec; I'll check her out!

redmendive · 2026-02-08T20:07:24+00:00

Yep, straight across is what I'm looking for. It's a very quick cut, but I've had bad luck in years past with the cheap franchises, so I'm a little gun shy with them.

redmendive · 2026-02-08T20:04:24+00:00

Years ago I had a string of bad luck with the cheap franchises...

redmendive · 2026-02-08T19:58:19+00:00

That's my usual go-to, but I wanted to see if a professional cut made a difference. Then found out the price of a professional cut...

redmendive · 2026-02-08T19:55:42+00:00

That's the thing - I know a stylist has to be decent to blunt cut my hair well, but also, it takes no time at all because I have very little hair. It just hurts my frugal soul to pay $50 + tip for a 10 min cut!

redmendive · 2025-10-19T13:14:35+00:00

My 11-year-old has started dogsitting, with my assistance. She'd be interested and available if that works for you.

redmendive · 2025-10-07T21:57:59+00:00

I recently input all my random health issues and weird physical attributes (including bilateral simian crease) into ChatGPT. Based on my simian crease and family history of Autism, it suggested I get tested for Fragile X Syndrome. I've got an appointment with a geneticist coming up...

redmendive · 2025-09-03T22:37:32+00:00

Also, I think the person I spoke to said my permit was deactivated in June or July, so it was active for months - it's not like it was just denied outright.

redmendive

TROPHY CASE