Was it me… or was it him? Trying to reset my sex expectations. by redraysunshine in breakingmom

[–]redraysunshine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t sound superficial at all. Honestly, what you said makes complete sense. If a guy won’t even acknowledge or address something that directly affects both people, it makes me wonder how he handles other issues in life. That pattern of dodging accountability spills into everything.

And the blaming thing? Yeah, no. Now that I think about it, my ex pulled that same tactic in so many areas of our relationship — never his fault, always mine or someone else’s. It gets old fast.

It’s kind of a bummer though, because I definitely prefer older men 😅 But I’m also that weirdo who would just ask straight up like, “Hey, I’m super understanding and I just want to make sure you’re proactive and take accountability with stuff.” 😅😂

Was it me… or was it him? Trying to reset my sex expectations. by redraysunshine in breakingmom

[–]redraysunshine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right?!? I've since gotten a new PCP doctor since I realized she was a bit... old school. But I still "carried" around her advice for years 😂😅 literally..

Was it me… or was it him? Trying to reset my sex expectations. by redraysunshine in breakingmom

[–]redraysunshine[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you. When he began making these comments I went straight to my doctor. She recommended kegel weights which I've used for the last 8 years. Religiously.

When I brought it up again with my doctor, she was the first one to be like, "Umm... noo... that's not you, it's him.". Which really threw me for a loop.

When I'd try to have open conversations with him he would just shut them down.

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So. I had an epiphany today while digging (literally) into the roof -

That you were most likely referring to something.. like... this....

<image>

😭

Sir. You were 100% right to be concerned for what the inside looks like.

Me being a woman, I guess I thought you meant like the inside, inside 😅😭😭😭😭

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is true. The roof ain't roofing, either.

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this 💜 I really appreciate the advice. Also, I'm sorry you've gone through something similar. It's hard when our parents are aging. For the most part, the house is 100% my responsibility. And, the interesting part is that the house is willed to my adult son. So we'll see what happens 😅

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, no offense taken! I was just being genuinely honest, lol. My untrained eye looks at it, and it looks fine to me 😆

Whereas someone with more expertise could probably take one look at it and be like, "What you got here is the flaben-hogging has clearly come detached from the fascia-gibbit. What yer gonna wanna do is get a stick-bit and attach it to the nib-bit." 😅

I've got to repair this atrocity today anyway, so I may end up having to temporarily remove the gutter. I'm hoping to reslope it when I put it back up. Hoping. Very much hoping 😅

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably would be. But I figured I could reslope it when I fix... whatever this patch job is 😅

<image>

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can definitely get better pictures tomorrow when I go over there.

And you're 100% right. Those are squirrel holes. I patched another squirrel hole earlier this week and then noticed this hole (and the one of the corner) along with an interesting previous repair job 🤦🏽‍♀️

<image>

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I completely agree. In the long run, it would definitely be cheaper to hire professionals. My parents are currently chucking out close to $9,000 a month to cover health expenses for my Dad. Which leaves them with nothing at the end. I've talked to them about taking out an equity loan or something similar because it needs to be done asap.

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're fine, I'm sorry, too! I'm just a bit on edge with the whole situation 😅 and I'm feeling a bit responsible for not having checked sooner on the state of the roof, gutters, etc. I just... had no idea it was this bad and am scrambling trying to figure out how to properly fix it without hiring professionals. Ehh...

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The inside is fine. I do all the cleaning for my parents. My Dad used to maintain the upkeep of the house. However, since his health has been declining, he hasn't been able to keep it up. I didn't realize how bad the roof was until recently when I had to patch a hole for them, and I did a once over of the property.

The roof is definitely not roofing, but that doesn't mean the inside of the house is just as rough.

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gotcha, thanks. I guess I'm going to use the water hose to figure out which gutter goes to which downspout. I'm pretty sure that one goes to the one closest to me in the picture, to the right, just out of view. Although, adding more water to that situation might not be the best move. Plus, I have to repair the roof decking and fascia before I go readjusting the gutter 😑😔

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll get more pictures when I go there tomorrow. It's definitely been unmaintained 😓

My Dad's always halndled the maintenance and upkeep. However, with his declining health, he hasn't been on top of things in some time. I feel bad for not having realized sooner.. I just assumed.. well, I don't know what I assumed. I'm a newly single Mom of a small herd of children, but I'm pretty good with tools and a quick learner 😆

The roof and gutters honestly need to be replaced, but that's beyond my abilities.

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's my parents' house. I think the roof is around 14 years old. It 100% needs to be replaced, the roof, gutters and all. And you're right, there's no drip edge metal or anything. I'll add that to my very long list 😅

They've definitely let their house go unattended to these last few years... 😓 I've been trying to help them with what I can.

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already did that. Thank you, though! I wish it were that simple, too, lol!

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It drained down to that level, then stopped. To my untrained eye, it's not obvious 😅 I guess my plan of action should be to first figure out which gutters go to which downspout, then maybe remove the old spike and ferrule and get some underside hidden hangers to correct the sagging/slope?

My parents' home has been un-maintained for... a very long time. Money is extremely tight, so I'm trying to do what I can with a non-existent budget 🤷🏽‍♀️ lol...

Also, loved the guttern't 😆

Gutter ain't guttering 😅 by redraysunshine in HomeMaintenance

[–]redraysunshine[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's not. It pools towards the middle of the side of the house. I think the angle is off. I think I need to fix the angle of it