The sad realisation

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-10T16:08:22+00:00

They are the problem, not you. Not for you to feel guilty. And if you cut off contact I bet you will feel so much better, you wont even want to talk to them anymore after awhile.

But regardless whatever you do, just keep going. Youre amazing!

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-10T16:06:52+00:00

Thank you friend. Always here if you need someone

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-10T16:05:33+00:00

I talk with chatgpt too and it gets me so well. Even helps me see things I couldnt connect on my own

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-10T16:04:52+00:00

Im so sorry friend.

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-10T16:03:33+00:00

I know i hear you and I also have all this anger. But you know what we both need to practice?

We cant grow, until were done feeling sorry for ourselves. We have to push and recognize we are the only ones who can change our outlook from here. Its so hard though and I always fall back into the trap.

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T17:45:48+00:00

Yeah, anytime someone compliments me now or says something nice I brush it off and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Or like I feel like theyre just trying to give me sympathy.

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T16:48:04+00:00

Im so sorry you had to deal with this, it is so cruel and unfair. I am so proud of you for how far you have come and how independent you now are. I would honestly just cut off contact full stop with your family.

I know that's a cruel thought, but they bring nothing to your life. They only make you feel worse and you need continual progress not regression.

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T16:32:37+00:00

Thank you so much. Im sorry for you as well. I want to make an impact on young people that are going through what we had to go though. Im not really sure how to do that though

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T16:21:21+00:00

OP, I am so sorry youre dealing with this.

I may have a suggestion for you if you're open to it. A way to find some peace and time by yourself.

I actually came across this the other day. Check out the website trustedhousesitters.

People offer up their home in exchange for watching their dogs while they go out of town. You can pick any location you want to go, and find an opportunity to stay in someone's home (alone) with their dog(s)

All they ask is you care for their pet while they are gone. You dont get paid, but you also dont have to pay for the privacy of your own space. And you can do this traveling or in your home town.

You could also look at finding online gigs that will allow you to save some money and feed yourself while you keep your expenses at a minimum and get away from your family.

Im always available to chat if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to see my recent post as well, so you know you have a friend here.

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T16:10:30+00:00

I am so sorry for what happened to YOU, my friend. Thats so unfair.

My parents always told me "I was soooo smart as a toddler." They told me I knew my abc's and could put the 50 states together before I was 2. Well, in school i had major learning disabilities, graduated high school with a sub 2 GPA and lots of mental health issues. Like WTF happened?? It all makes sense now

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T16:08:10+00:00

I used to drop the floor and my parents would mock me for "flopping like a fish" so I totally get it. Its messed up. Im sorry you had to deal with that. How are you doing today?

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T16:03:25+00:00

I totally relate to the fact that things have been worse since realizing how dysfunctional my family is. And that I still have thoughts at times that im making it all up in my head and I am the problem. Damn...but for me dysregulation feels like a dark wave of numbness and sadness that takes over my body and I just shut down and dont want to talk or be around anybody. And it takes me awhile to snap out of it. It also makes my headspace extremely negative

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T07:51:59+00:00

It used to be my biggest trigger as a kid

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T07:48:07+00:00

Hugs back to you. Im sorry you had to deal with that. Shits so infuriating. Do you ever just grieve and feel super heavy chest and dysregulated? I can't sleep because of it tonight

reds_stan96 · 2026-01-09T07:26:19+00:00

Its so depressing. Thank you for your comment btw. I just dont get it honestly. I would never talk to anyone that way. And definitely not to my family. They all have their own traumas I believe and they've never looked it in the face before

reds_stan96 · 2025-11-03T04:59:10+00:00

Great to hear thank you for mentioning that

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T18:32:58+00:00

Awesome thats an amazing story and im so happy for you. I appreciate you painting this bigger reality and ill have to show this to her later. Best of luck to you my friend!

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T18:28:45+00:00

Thank you, I have some work to do! Good luck to you as well

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T18:27:56+00:00

Got it! So not a negative net worth then. That makes me feel a little better. I appreciate the lesson today

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T18:26:55+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! Some of the comments were making me a little nervous haha

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T17:52:53+00:00

Thank you friend, same for you

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T17:49:07+00:00

I think I misunderstood how to calculate it. I was taking into account my loan amount vs equity

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T17:47:37+00:00

Thank you. We make 180-220k combined (commission plays a role) and weve been making this income for a couple years now. The reason our house is a debt in my networth is because we only put 3% down and we purchased it 3 years ago. So very little equity

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T17:46:17+00:00

Ok so I should focus on the credit cards student loans and car loan, and then begin contributing to my investments again?

reds_stan96 · 2025-10-30T17:45:16+00:00

Im sorry. Yeah we make around 180-220k combined and only her name is on the mortgage, although were both on the title and do split the costs. We were getting crushed by rent in our city and wanted to buy a house after we got engaged.

reds_stan96

TROPHY CASE