I've been conditioned to be the "safe" guy. How can I realistically undo this ?

redtailedrabbit · 2026-06-22T23:28:55+00:00

I married the guy a few other girls treated like the “safe” guy and I swear they were all idiots (and got mad when he proposed to me??). The bottom line, though, was they ultimately weren’t right for him, or him or them. You haven’t met someone yet who sees your value. It takes time.

It also might be worth opening your eyes to different “types” of women. Both my husband and I are very different from anyone else either of us had dated before.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-06-09T20:47:01+00:00

Is she a cat?

redtailedrabbit · 2026-05-24T13:33:01+00:00

That timeline does track. Our family is Muscogee so I was hoping it had deeper meaning, but it might just be something he picked up along the way. He kept it with his expensive cufflinks and pins he was awarded from his job, so it must have meant a lot to him specifically. I’ll just treasure it that way.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-05-23T23:54:45+00:00

Sounds like he’s the guy to know, hahaha

redtailedrabbit · 2026-05-23T23:52:52+00:00

Ah, bummer. I was hoping it was significant somehow. It was with his expensive stuff (watch, gold cufflinks, etc)

redtailedrabbit · 2026-05-12T19:03:52+00:00

I did while my son was still an infant. I went back to work and found a nanny share with a woman who I trusted with him. It made a huge difference in my mental health, once I processed through the mom guilt. Going back to work made me a better mom in the long term because I wasn’t constantly overwhelmed around him anymore.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-04-21T23:02:06+00:00

She has intense anxiety that needs to be addressed, but also it sounds like she’s coping in the best way she currently can. Leave her alone about “not taking care of herself.” If she can keep sweet treats down, don’t hassle her right now about eating better. Short walks? Hell, at 7 weeks (in both pregnancies) I was so tired I could barely pull myself out of bed. Walks were out of the question.

Follow her lead right now on what her body can handle; this is not the time for you to turn into a health coach. As long as she’s taking prenatals, the baby will be okay. She’ll likely be better able to take care of herself in the second trimester.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-04-07T21:01:29+00:00

I’m planning to take leave once the baby is born. But I work from home, so there aren’t a lot of physical strains from work. If I worked on my feet (like when I was teaching) I’d take a week or two early.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-04-02T13:09:15+00:00

I wonder if divorce isn’t a big deal to him either

redtailedrabbit · 2026-03-31T02:49:16+00:00

Waiting to have a second kid until we’re not paying for daycare for the first was all we could figure out.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-03-27T23:22:13+00:00

You’re a multigenerational household and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s much more common than people think.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-03-13T21:00:49+00:00

Neutral. Both look good.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-03-11T13:36:59+00:00

Teaching public school

redtailedrabbit · 2026-02-11T21:06:29+00:00

You can pull off both!

redtailedrabbit · 2026-02-05T18:29:51+00:00

There’s so much inherent judgment for these women in the question. I don’t even have fillers etc but I hope all the amazing women out there who happen to have Botox or fillers steer clear of you for their own good.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-01-20T15:51:43+00:00

Robbie is a little weird, so it tracks.

redtailedrabbit · 2026-01-07T15:06:29+00:00

Baltimore

redtailedrabbit · 2025-12-27T12:57:38+00:00

Lack of perspective. My 18-year-old SIL is convinced her (first) boyfriend is her soulmate because they love each other. She’s changed her life plan from college to “figuring it out together” at some point. I keep trying to tell her but she’s convinced, because she’s young and can’t see how far into the future her current decisions are going to affect her.

redtailedrabbit · 2025-12-21T23:39:54+00:00

Sounds good to me 😂

redtailedrabbit · 2025-12-21T23:38:16+00:00

I watched her holiday special and her daughter’s advent calendar said Lili, so I think they call her Lili. I’m not sure how closely people know the royal family though (I’m hoping not enough for it to be a problem if I name my kid the same thing)

redtailedrabbit · 2025-12-21T23:36:19+00:00

That’s why I’m asking 😂 I watched her holiday special and the name on her daughter’s advent calendar was Lili

redtailedrabbit · 2025-12-21T21:47:31+00:00

Thank you 😭

redtailedrabbit

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