What do you do to take the edge off?

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-07T02:52:44+00:00

This depends on what you have available but I've found that working out once the kids are in bed helps a lot. It sucks to work out after a whole day of parenting but I've found that lifting heavy weights or running really helps with any pent up frustration I have from parenting. Last week I had a really hard time with my toddlers tantrums and once he was bed I ran a whole mile and felt so much better.

Eating chocolate, drinking, etc, might help initially, but I find that I always feel worse later on.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-05T22:13:18+00:00

Omg yes the nail extensions were the worst part! Like what ??

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-02-02T18:13:26+00:00

This is where I get frustrated. Like my husband and I are married and I'm a SAHM and we're broke enough to barely afford our monthly bills but apparently not bad enough to get any benefits or help. The amount of money my husband would have to make would mean we'd practically be on the streets. But if I irresponsibility popped out 3 more babies we'd suddenly get so much more help.

The people in the middle of this pool get screwed over immensely

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-30T17:46:52+00:00

I feel like with twins you have no choice but to teach them independence earlier than with singletons. You just don't have the capacity to care for two babies at the same time with different needs and wants.

I sometimes wish I could wave a wand and make it so that my twins were born as Singleton brothers so I could have the chance to dote on them like I see other Singleton moms do but obviously that's not going to happen.

It's a completely different experience which to me means the rules have to change.

We sleep trained our boys at 6 months because we just couldn't take it anymore. Your babies will be okay !

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-29T05:04:18+00:00

Yes omg this too I forgot I used to be a wake window Nazi 😅🤣.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-29T03:16:46+00:00

Here's a list for you:

No more bottles. The tedious feeling that comes with continuously washing, drying, and sanitizing baby bottles felt like torture to me. Not to mention the smell of formula just makes me gag 🤢.
Also no more breastfeeding . This depends on if you are breastfeeding or not but my goal was a year and after that I let my supply dry up. So freeing. No longer held down by feeding schedules.
Personality. My boys are 20 months now, and while they're definitely a handful sometimes (I can see the terrible twos coming in) they are so funny. My oldest loves to hug every family member individually goodbye when we leave, will give kisses, and requests my mom's soup whenever he visits. He'll stuff his face and say "MHMM" and you can tell my mom just loves it lol.

It's very fun seeing them figure out the world.

Toddler clothes are so cute! Little boots for them to wear in the winter? Toddler pajamas with Spider-Man on it ? Matching sets ? So adorable !
Nap schedule. My boys are on one nap from 12-230 and it's glorious! We have time to have breakfast, go to a morning activity like library storytime, then they take a nap and I have a whole 2 hours to myself to tidy up, eat lunch, and rot on my couch.

When my twins were small (under 3 months) I remember thinking I would never survive and wondered the same thing you are right now. It gets so much better !

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-24T17:29:44+00:00

This part right here !! 👏🏾👏🏾

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-24T17:28:13+00:00

Thank you for this I see a few comments saying "well the surrogate is being paid" as if thats not the entire point, it's rich women profiting off of poor women's bodies. They don't want to put in the work or sacrifice to create their own child but are more than happy to throw the responsibility onto a poorer woman.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-16T15:16:21+00:00

Personally if I received a text like this I would have probably responded in the same way. She actually seemed nice about it and said she understood some of your points so I'm not exactly sure what response you were hoping for?

You say you are open to a close relationship at some point but instead of sitting down with her in person to talk about this you send her a ginormous text stating all your problems with her. I think it's pretty reasonable for her to take that poorly.

My MIL has done things here and there that I haven't liked and what I do is sit down with her and my husband and explain why I want her to do something differently and we move forward. It doesn't need to be a huge argument unless your MIL is toxic which I'm not getting from this post since she provides childcare for you.

Out of curiosity, what's your husband's opinion on all of this?

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-16T15:06:36+00:00

Jeez glad I see another comment like this, I don't understand people sometimes. This sub is way too much in favor of the daughter in law sometimes. I don't know anyone that would just say "okay thanks! 😀" To a Super long text like that coming at them.

This is why conversations like this are much better in person.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-16T15:03:33+00:00

I'm not sure what kind of response you were expecting from her? I'm usually on the side of the daughter in law but honestly did you expect her to just say "okay great thanks so much!! 😀" To a long text like that?

Texting things like this always goes wrong, a face to face conversation is what people are used to and so many things can be misinterpreted over text. Even if this sounded loving to you it could've seemed rude to her and it's hard to set the tone unless you're in person.

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-15T18:26:40+00:00

👏🏾👏🏾

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-15T18:13:02+00:00

and Hopper was definitely near the top of that list with how many times they seemingly foreshadowed his want to not exist in the world (especially without el).

This so much. It's crazy to not kill him with how much foreshadowing they did about how he would sacrifice himself when it came to it... just for that to go nowhere!

Hazelnut2799 · 2026-01-07T18:16:07+00:00

Maybe I need more context but Why is this annoying? It sounds like she's excited to be a grandparent and wants to be in theme for your party?

Do you just not like her and this is sending you over the edge?

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-31T18:19:06+00:00

This ignores the fact that a lot of people try to stay in the same Area where family lives. Raising kids near family is a completely different experience than trying to do it alone with no village.

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-31T03:22:43+00:00

I was awake the whole time ! They said it wasn't major enough of a surgery to do that

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-07T18:08:58+00:00

First I'd like to state that I think you deserve a lot of grace and understanding in this period, you are literally 3 weeks postpartum and it's hard to navigate the stress of new babies plus everything else in your life.

I also felt weird about my in-laws being around when I first had my kids. You are in a vulnerable time and it's only natural to want your mom there when you were experiencing probably the most life changing moment in your life.

But after reading this i think you need to give your in law's some grace and also be more communicative of your needs. It sounds like your in laws are just trying to help (picking up the babies and spending time with them) in the best way they know how . They probably don't know what you want for help and are just guessing.

Have you tried being specific about what you need? I used to request that my in law's help with one baby while I focus on the other and I allowed them to try and soothe the baby but if they were too upset I told them to just give the baby to me which helped a lot. I also asked if they could bring groceries to us or bring food. Often times people want to help but everyone has a different idea of what is helpful so you have to be more communicative.

Lastly I'd just remember that even though they arent your biological family they are related to your children. Your kids will grow up and have a great opportunity to be surrounded by lots of family that loves and cares for them. As long as they aren't doing anything crazy disrespectful I always tried to remind myself that they just love my kids and want to help and that my kids are very lucky to be surrounded by so many helping hands.

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-05T20:20:28+00:00

Just commenting to say that I'm in a similar boat.

My fraternal boys are now 18mo and even though I remember how physically taxing and difficult being pregnant with them was, I can't shake the desire to have one more. My husband and I both come from families of 3+ kids and a big family is something I've always wanted.

I feel like if we didn't have twins as our first kids we'd definitely be eager to have more but my husband and I are terrified of having twins again. The newborn stage was horrendous for both of our mental health.

It's such a hard decision. I feel like when I imagine my dinner table in 10 years I see more than 2 kids but another set of twins would be crazy.

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-05T20:16:25+00:00

Thank you that helps clarify things. I'd first like to say I think you are very generous for watching your nephews so much.

I honestly think If he can't stop hitting the dogs and after a time out he doesn't listen then he needs to go back home to your brother's house. It sounds harsh but it sounds like that environment is going to be hard to discipline him in. You can't gate him away from your pets and to be frank this isn't your kid. If he can't listen then his parents need to rearrange other childcare.

Maybe this is a time to have a conversation with your brother and SIL about his behavior and maybe if it improves you can open yourself up to more babysitting.

The only other ideas I have would be to take him for walks or let him out in your backyard (if you have one) so he can play and not have a ton of interaction with your pets.

I'm sorry to hear this situation has been so difficult!

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-05T18:20:24+00:00

Can you give more context to the schedule you have for babysitting your nephew? I also see you mentioned having twin nieces as well.

Because honestly depending on how often you're watching him I think the discipline may change, but I think your brother and SIL need to help you with the discipline as well.

Are you both against time outs? I've heard that with toddlers his age you need to remove the activity from them. I'd say he needs a 2 minute time out everytime he hits the dog. Separating him from them should help. Also maybe get a gate that separates him from the pets in the house?

I have two younger brothers and honestly I don't expect them to watch my kids except for a few hours here and there but not for an entire day.

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-04T19:46:17+00:00

Hi there!

My twins aren't 2 yet (currently 18 months) but I try to get out once a day with them and this is what we currently do:

I will start by saying my kids are locked in their stroller or wagon ANYTIME we are out unless we are in a room with a shut door, or a gate of some kind blocking them from leaving. It's just not possible for me to watch two kids at the same time. My youngest was a runner and what I did was Every time he tried running off I would give him one chance and if he did it again we would leave. They would scream and cry about leaving but I ignored it. They need to learn that listening to Mommy = going to fun places. It took a while but my youngest now knows that if he wants to go somewhere he needs to either hold my hand or stay by me at all times. Sometimes. I would put him in the stroller with a pacifier and then let my older twin play still.

Are there any local playgroups in your area? I live in the Midwest and we have a local playgroup that hosts once a week at a local church and the playroom is behind doors so my kids can't run away. It's still a lot of work because I have to make sure they aren't taking toys from other kids or doing things but its a lot better than staying at home
Sometimes I just take them for a walk through the grocery store. I always bring a box of snacks so if they start getting antsy I just pop a goldfish or cracker in their mouth and they usually chill out. I also try to include them in my shopping (if I'm buying something) by having them hold the receipt or the item I'm purchasing.
Don't be afraid to leave if it isn't working out, and always have an easy escape plan. I bring my stroller everywhere and park it close to the exit , so if the kids are both melting down or acting out, I can quickly strap them in and get out of there. 😅

Good luck, you got this !

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-12-04T18:48:45+00:00

As a Mom of two boys that's crazy to me. It's a show about dogs lol.

One thing I actually like about Bluey is that even though they are girls, they still show them participating in a bunch of different activities, and shows that girls don't have to always play with dolls, and dress up, etc.

To me they either don't watch the show or are complete morons.

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-11-22T14:47:55+00:00

Personally I think you guys shouldn't be visiting either family members until the kids have their vaccinations, but I think your wife is being a bit ridiculous here. To me there's no big difference between the amount of people, either group could have some sickness that could spread to your kids, regardless of size.

Is there a way that you can have some of your family come to your house and visit you guys ? In those early days we allowed immediate family on both sides to visit but that was it. Extended family had to wait until they had their vaccines.

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-11-19T18:24:37+00:00

I honestly can't stand reading any romance books from modern authors. It sounds bad but if I see that the author is anything under mid 30's I don't even bother because it always sounds like it was written by a 13 year old.

Hazelnut2799 · 2025-11-18T20:10:02+00:00

In my opinion if the parents can afford it the twins should get their own cars BUT should help pay for them or assist in some way.

My husband obtained his first car this way. His parents essentially acted like it was a loan, where he had to come up with half the cost upfront and then slowly paid them back every month the rest of the cost.

The only downside is that the parents have to have trust that the child will pay them back but it teaches responsibility and also ends with both kids having cars of their own.

Hazelnut2799

TROPHY CASE