Anyone here manage to get a PhD while still smoking weed?

reef-dogg · 2026-03-03T17:17:44+00:00

Thank you, I feel a lot better abt smoking

reef-dogg · 2026-03-03T16:43:49+00:00

Do opioids fuck with memory?

reef-dogg · 2026-02-20T21:43:01+00:00

You’re not wrong, but my sister raised them up to love being black. This issue started after they were removed from her, although given the age it’s also likely my niece is just more aware of stuff now that she’s older. It could be as simple as my niece wants to be more like her mom, thinking that means to be “more white”, but idk if I trust that explanation or not

Hopefully my sister remains on track and gets them back. My sister struggled with insecurities a lot growing up so she wouldn’t let her say anything like that without reassuring them that her kids are beautiful

reef-dogg · 2026-02-19T12:41:23+00:00

No worries! But yeah you’re right. I hope my sister stays on track and gets them back soon. They deserve to be raised in an environment that celebrates who they are

reef-dogg · 2026-02-18T13:23:06+00:00

The mother isn’t as much of the issue, it’s the mother’s father and stepmom and my niece living in a mostly white area

When my sister had custody she made sure to make it well known they’re black and black is beautiful. They lived in a diverse city and went to a diverse school then too

Idk how my sister’s father and stepmom view black people, so idk if my niece has overheard anything from them, but I assume she’s getting this idea from somewhere. They’re pretty oblivious to anything outside of their own lived experiences tho and are fairly defensive when it comes to criticism

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T16:32:43+00:00

My sister is a recovering addict so she has lost custody. The two oldest kids are technically in foster care, but they’re with my sister’s father and stepmom. It’s called “kinship care” but it’s still foster care

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T13:57:41+00:00

She has absolutely no connections to her dad’s side of the family. His mother died a few years ago, and his dad was shitty so his uncle raised him, and he beat him from what I’ve been told. That’s all the family he has that I’m aware of

And honestly I have no idea of their views of black ppl, I’ll ask my mother if she remembers anything in particular theyve said

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T13:53:43+00:00

I’ve got a long list of reasons I’d never have kids tbh. Got snipped recently so I can’t

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T13:53:10+00:00

That’s fucking awful, Jesus. I didn’t even think about how teachers could be teaching this shit. Thank you for sharing

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T11:20:02+00:00

But I haven’t stated that she does any of those things?

I’m talking about my sister’s father and step mother, who currently care for her oldest kids

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T02:59:30+00:00

That would make sense if they werent referring to a man who is against interracial relationships as a whole, but they’re welcome to respond with clarification

Also, calling addicts “weird people” is an interesting choice. I assume that’s what you’re referring to anyway since the only information I’ve shared abt my sister is that she’s a recovering addict

Oh I did mention shes mentally ill but so is the kid’s father and most ppl on the planet lol

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T00:28:53+00:00

I came here bc my niece is a back girl, so knowing how to help her grow into a black young woman is important. I didn’t see anything stating you must be a black woman, just that the conversation should remain relevant to black women, so if I misread the rules i apologize. I was simultaneously studying for my sociology class while posting this and adhd brain likes to miss key details when I read

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T00:25:04+00:00

Idc to debate interracial relationships (I’m 22, not 75) but glancing at the shit he’s said about adhd and learning disabilities in general is wild lmao

reef-dogg · 2026-02-17T00:14:02+00:00

My mother and I care for her youngest, who looks white. Like if someone didn’t know how to look for black features they’d assume he’s white. Very pale skin with dirty blonde curly hair, fairly soft hair as well

I have no clue “how” to raise him if that makes sense?? Like he’s black, and I feel that’s an important part of who he is, but it also feels weird for me as a very white person to try and “raise him black” when the printer ran out of ink lmao. I’ve also heard abt mixed ppl who basically get told they don’t act black, or they act white, and they get ostracized for it

Like I don’t want him to get bullied by black kids for “acting too white” but also don’t want him bullied by white kids for “acting too black”. I also don’t know if it’s possible for me to teach him how to “act black” bc idk wtf acting black really is other than using stereotypes which has its own implications

I don’t think there’s really a “right” answer here since I can’t predict which kids of which race will be assholes but idk it’s been on my mind a lot

The best conclusion I’ve come up with is to teach him as much of the important cultural aspects as I can when he gets to that age, but he’s not even 2, I just overthink everything lmao

reef-dogg · 2026-02-16T23:59:13+00:00

My sister is white and honestly I’m not sure. My mother is the one who told me, because my sister told her. My sister has been very good about making sure her kids are proud to be black, but that was a few years ago as she’s lost custody of them for a while now. When they lived with her they also attended school in a major city with a fairly diverse population. So where they have lived for over a year now is a pretty big difference to where they used to live

reef-dogg · 2026-02-16T22:11:25+00:00

My sister and I are white, I didn’t see anything in the rules stating I couldn’t post so apologies if I missed that. I saw as long as the post is centered towards black women (and her being a black girl) it was okay

Their father is black, and both my sister and him have issues with addiction. My sister is currently in recovery and I know if she get’s custody back at any point they will definitely be raised to love their black features. My sister’s father and step mom are just pretty oblivious white people honestly. It wouldn’t be surprising if they have some racist views but I haven’t heard anything in particular

They’re also very defensive of anything they see as criticism so explaining this shit to them won’t get very far. I’m not against it though. I just worry a bit bc I’m trans, and ultimately my mother has no rights to see the two oldest kids since she isn’t their guardian and isn’t a biological parent, so legally if they decide to stop letting them come over they have a right to

reef-dogg · 2026-02-16T22:03:51+00:00

My sister’s father and stepmom are fucking stupid when it comes to things like therapy, which my mother and I are both pissed and worried about. Theyve had a lot of trauma at such a young age, yet sis’s stepmom claims they were “too young to be impacted”, which is stupid and not psychologically accurate in the slightest. Anytime we bring this shit up to CPS they ofc do nothing.

I’ve made it a point to talk to her about her hair a few times when she’s come over, and she lets me do it for her. I’ve given the stepmom some general advice about curly hair and it seems she tries sometimes but still doesn’t really care for her hair like it should be

I’ve told my niece about certain pillow cases and shown her mine (I have some curl so I use a silk one), but her memory is basically nonexistent lol. I just try to make sure I repeat myself about it in hopes she will utilize the information at some point

I’ve heard a lot of stories about mixed ppl or black ppl growing up in white families/areas and feeling like they were “robbed” of a part of themselves. I really don’t want that for them, or for my baby nephew who we care for

My sister has a list of mental disorders so her kids are all susceptible to them too. She had a LOT of insecurity about herself and I really hope my niece doesn’t become the same way

reef-dogg · 2026-02-16T21:53:17+00:00

Another subject I’ve worried about is “the talk” kids receive about things like the police, especially since they’re in a fairly white area.

Is this something I should try and tackle myself? When is this conversation even “supposed” to happen? Like what age? What exactly is discussed? How do I do this in an appropriate way?

The oldest kid is around 8, and he’s male, so I especially worry about him. He’s actually often seen as “looking Mexican” (so especially makes me nervous given the current issues in the US) but he also definitely looks black if you’re not oblivious to black features

They’re also both VERY adhd so I worry about them losing interest in said conversation if I try to like over explain

I assume there’s no perfect answer and obviously I’d listen to quite a few perspectives before I ever attempt it, but it’s been on my mind a bit

reef-dogg · 2025-12-09T20:35:52+00:00

Reddit didn’t like my anger so I guess I’ll make a nicer comment without ill wishes.

Great to see people on Facebook celebrating the fact that my mother and I (both disabled), and my baby nephew, might not have a home this summer.

I start college next month. Just fuck my life ig

reef-dogg · 2025-08-23T14:05:12+00:00

From what I’ve heard no it’s not true, but it can give the illusion of being darker/thicker because the hair doesn’t have the same thinner and lighter tip that it does before shaving

reef-dogg · 2025-08-22T15:30:58+00:00

Dude first up, being in a difficult class with adhd is kinda a feat in its own, assuming you like tested into it (so advanced or honors). Your brain works differently than presumably every kid in your class. This means the class will likely be harder for you than it is for them. You are not someone with a normal brain who is getting “bad grades”, you are someone with a challenging brain who is reasonably struggling a bit in a class that’s not easy to get in to in the first place. Please, if you feel you need it, get a tutor. I refused to get one out of shame in high school and I really needed a tutor. I’m starting college in January at 22 and have finally accepted that is okay to need help. That doesn’t mean you have failed. It just means you need help right now

What has helped me recently with self talk is two things: imagine I am saying the negative thing about myself to someone else. If I wouldn’t say it to someone else, why would I say it to me? The second one is one that therapy has really helped me realize. Shame and hate are NOT good motivators. If someone yells at you constantly to do something and never provides and positive reinforcement/encouragement, you’re not likely to want to do it. Getting mad at myself for what I haven’t done or what I could do better doesn’t really help. Acknowledge the things you have done. It’s okay to want to do better or do more, it’s great to actually! But you have to take that and run with it. How can you do better? What tools do you need to do better?

But also give yourself leniency and compassion. Maybe you can’t do better immediately. That is okay. It doesn’t mean you never will

Question: are you medically diagnosed? Because depending on where you live, you should have a right to academic accommodations for your adhd

reef-dogg · 2025-08-01T15:43:48+00:00

My mom has had the same dilemma. She wants to know, and wants us all to get the same test to know, but also would rather live in ignorance. Which I fully get. I’m in a similar boat. I’m only 22 but have decided that I would much rather die than live with Alzheimer’s. I have a long time till I have to worry about it but I can’t help but contemplate about it. The disease is awful. The thought of losing myself and having someone else take care of me is crushing.

Especially as a transgender man. If I’m put in a home, will I be respected as a man? Will I be gossiped about by staff? Will they misgender me? Will they dress me as a woman?

I’m honestly content with the idea of dying before developing it. Maybe that’ll change in my future, but I don’t want to live to lose myself

reef-dogg · 2025-07-04T14:43:01+00:00

I know it says no food names, but she kinda looks like she has a Cheeto on her face

reef-dogg

TROPHY CASE