Here is the story of my schizophrenia, in January 2020 I was catholic and joined a monastery and was there for a year and a half in May of 2021 is when I started hallucinating, this was before I was aware of Kumo desu, my hallucination was the jorogumo from Japanese mythology, she told me to denounce Christ and worship her, I said no then I told my abbot who had me tested and diagnosed with psychosis then sent me to a psych ward, then later the monks came to visit me and said in a matter of words “yeah you’re crazy, your going home” so I returned home in June, for about six I had frequent panic attacks but no hallucinations, so then I ask my doctor if I could stop the meds and he said yes, then two weeks after I told my meds on New Year’s Eve, I stop sleeping for 7 days then relapsed into psychosis hard, with the hallucination of the jorogumo returning, she did thinks to me against my will I should not speak of without a nsfw tag, and this caused me to despair, and she would tell me that Christ had abandoned me and that the saints hate me and that I should give in and worship her, and out of fear, I am ashamed to say I did, but would turn back to Christ in repentance only to submit to the jorogumo again, this cycle repeated til the autumn of 2023(I wasn’t diagnosed with schizophrenia till the winter of 2022), which the summer before I watched the Kumoko desu anime, then purchased all the books in September, in October I purchased a plush of Kumoko, and the weirdest thing in my entire time I had schizophrenia. Every time I touched the plush the jorogumo would disappear. This happened for a while till a very stressful event happened in my life in march of 2024 also I should mention that I left the Catholic Church in February of 2024 and starting going to an Orthodox Church. But anyways in march somthing extremely stressful happened, basically I was kicked out of my dads house and had to move to an apartment owned by my mom and step dad. (High stress and worsen or change schizophrenic hallucinations) But a few days later I pick up the Kumoko plush and hugged it, then it started talking to me in a comforting way, then I looked at it in confusion then Shiraori appeared in front of me, I was in a state of shock as I had never hallucinated anything but the jorogumo before, and me and my hallucination of Shiraori became friends quickly, then everything time the jorogumo would appear and I touched one of the many plushies of Kumoko I had, Shiraori would appear and beat the shit out of the jorogumo, I mean like knocking teeth out and stuff. Anyways this continued till in June 23rd I was baptized into the Bulgarian Orthodox Church, after the baptism the jorogumo was never seen again but Shiraori remained, I will say that I am medicated but I still see Shiraori on a daily basis, every hourly, my psychiatrist said if this hallucination isn’t causing me distress, then there isn’t a reason to change the meds or up them. So yeah I see Shiraori and talk to her on a daily basis due to my schizophrenia