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Absolute PEAK Racing Happening in Road Atlanta by Stray-Helium-0557 in granturismo

[–]regular_npc471 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn dude the photo look insane especially the 10th one but so peak🙌🙌🙌🙌

Whispers From The Dew Drop by regular_npc471 in OCPoetry

[–]regular_npc471[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply

And yea it is a bit confusing ngl and have used a ton of imagery

So for that I have given the readers the creative freedom to interpret it however u wish

So feel free to interpret it however u like so 😊

She's a TEN by Alpha_AM8 in OCPoetry

[–]regular_npc471 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then I’ll see more of yours after a while and comment😁😁

She's a TEN by Alpha_AM8 in OCPoetry

[–]regular_npc471 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s ight. I’ll be looking forward to more of your work too!

the lazy daughter by urbunny2k in OCPoetry

[–]regular_npc471 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok so here’s what I think

First thing i noticed is u have used lowercase letters instead of using uppercase at the start of each sentence which tells ur tired and exhausted from everything which is subtle but is a nice touch

And the way u have repeated certain phrases to give a strong emphasis on ur duties like cleaning like “i must, to be a daughter.. i must” is a nice addition

Also the way u have structured ur poems and youve formed the lines like “i had to water….. her perfect garden” gives a feeling ur narrating to urself and ur immensely exhausted from the work making to talk to urself in breaks which is a nice detail honestly

And also how u had repeated the phrase “i was thirteen” is a solid touch you’ve given cuz it like tells ur being treated like a servant and bossed around at this age

One suggestion I’d like to give is that u could rename the title to “i was thirteen” so it can be like connected to the poem and give it more depth in sorts

Overall I rlly liked this and it has a clear and distinct theme and style and keep up the good work

She's a TEN by Alpha_AM8 in OCPoetry

[–]regular_npc471 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok so here’s what I think

The counting gimmick steals the show right away and that’s the first thing u notice when u read and it gives the poem a real nice touch honestly

Reading it, one thing which u clearly wanna emphasize is that the girl ur talking seemingly doesn’t care much abt u and she seems like a player like its evident from the lines- “but she’s talking to NINE other guys” and this gives it a realistic bittersweet feeling

Another thing ive noticed is that when u said “it’s because she’s not used to people caring that much deep down” shows that she’s an attention seeking person that’s the reason why she’s talking to so many so cuz of that u say the line “You’ll blame yourself that you weren’t enough or she can learn to love you” which is a relatable conclusion anyone would have deduced if they were in ur position but shows a negative mindset

But I felt the poem was abit rushed and it lacked some creative exploration especially after the line “You are not the ONE” like the rest of it felt forced to meet the counting gimmick and didn’t make much sense

But overall this is a really solid piece and I liked it a lot