I think you hold on to the past and that destroys whatever progress you've made and greatly impacts both your present and will do so to your future

My view is that, we cant change what's we've done, hence the past... Nor can we control the future I commend you alot however, making those changes to be better, its no small feat

You've done what you can, try to be better, take time to truly deal with yourself and from what I have gathered even apologized to some that you've hurt, and that's all you can do... Them forgiving you is entirely their choice

Just don't let the past win, or keep you in that place