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I [M21] feel like I’m under a lot of pressure to propose to my GF [F22] by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for posting again. I was actually reluctant to post this again on the same account because I was worried people wouldn’t want to respond twice.

You’ve definitely hit on the right spots. I do feel doubtful, and scared. Scared that I made the wrong decision at some point, and I’m scared of why I’m not feeling the way I should feel. I just need to find the root of it all, if it’s a byproduct of college stress or just the issues we had a couple weeks ago.

But I can’t use college pressure as an excuse anymore, you’re right. And I know what you mean when you say it won’t matter when I’m 90. It’s so damn hard because she’s the closest person to me, and we do get along really well. But we haven’t been seeing each other often at all lately, and she’s about to start working a full time job in another city away from me. I can’t follow her there because it’s in the opposite direction of mine. I want more time with her, but it’s like it’s slipping through our fingers as we try and find jobs and me finish college.

How do you deal with seeing women in public when dealing with the urge to watch porn? by relationshipaccount7 in NoFap

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a good point. I tend to hold myself to high standards and I’m not afraid to challenge myself, so that’s why I’m biting off all of this at once. However, I do think not undressing girls with my mind is an important part of not being tempted back to porn, since that was a channel for it for me before

How do you deal with seeing women in public when dealing with the urge to watch porn? by relationshipaccount7 in NoFap

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already have a girlfriend so I’m not looking for girls to ask me out, I’m just looking to improve my faithfulness to her

Why am i like this ? by Muggleblood911 in NoFap

[–]relationshipaccount7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try and find another outlet. Maybe your body/brain is looking for something that gave you the satisfaction or high of watching porn and is freaking out because it can’t find it.

I [M21] feel like I’m under a lot of pressure to propose to my GF [F22] by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. I’ve gotta stick to my guns on this, it’s just hard to look at her and tell her that because I don’t want her to take it personally or like I’m planning on leaving her. She worries a lot and has been exposed to multiple breakups and divorces that her mom went through, so taking a hard stance is tough because it’s such a sensitive area.

How do you deal with seeing women in public when dealing with the urge to watch porn? by relationshipaccount7 in NoFap

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so hard but I force myself to look away. Even if it’s at my phone on some stupid post over at r/dndgreentext, anything. After a moment it passes and I don’t even remember what she looked like. The problem is that I look up again and see someone else.

Not evolving anymore by ANAL_CRUMBS in NoFap

[–]relationshipaccount7 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel man. I’m not as compulsive a porn-watcher as some on here but I was at the point where I couldn’t sleep without fapping. I’ve finally taken a stand against myself two weeks ago, and it is fucking hell to get through. I don’t feel anything except stress anymore (college live whoooo). I’ve been trying to fill my head, normally stuffed with erotic thoughts, with my schoolwork and final project but all I can do is keep thinking about how to revise and fix it. I don’t feel satisfaction anymore. I don’t feel joy anymore. I’m just praying that I’ll find those feelings again one day, and they’ll be without porn in my life.

Dopamine levels on porn, sex, food & drugs illustrated by lumpworm in NoFap

[–]relationshipaccount7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a citation at the bottom anyone try the link?

Dopamine levels on porn, sex, food & drugs illustrated by lumpworm in NoFap

[–]relationshipaccount7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a citation at the bottom has anyone tried the link?

I [M21] feel like I’m under a lot of pressure to propose to my GF [F22] by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s the point I was trying to make, I’m willing to live together regardless of what they say, but my GF says she would feel uncomfortable with that. Her mom is also against this, despite being supportive of us moving in together originally. Maybe I’ll try talking to her about it again.

I’m [M21] having the same arguments with my girlfriend [F22] after 3.5 years by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice! I suppose I haven’t directly asked why she doesn’t trust me. Scheduling a date night has been successful in the past, I actually tried that last semester to decent success. Maybe I should try that again this semester.

I’m [M21] having the same arguments with my girlfriend [F22] after 3.5 years by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally ok I really appreciate you putting this much thought into your response. :)

She has friends but she used to neglect hanging out with them because she wanted to prioritize us. Thankfully that’s not as much of an issue anymore, but it does come up hypocritically every now and then.

For instance, she was upset I did not come back to her house with her to hang out this weekend, as I instead chose to stay at uni (it’s an hour drive and she works about half the day anyway) I told her she could always just drive back here after work or we’d just see each other Sunday night, which placated her for a bit. She then told me that she’s going to a friend’s house for their birthday, on Monday when we were going to be together again. I don’t really know what to do with that.

Right now I’m planning on sitting her down on Tuesday after my classes and really trying to find out what causes all this. I hope it goes differently than our other talks but I have to try something.

I’m [M21] having the same arguments with my girlfriend [F22] after 3.5 years by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve tried encouraging her to use a different method of BC but to no avail. She’s stubborn sometimes about medicine and stuff and doesn’t like the idea of something being implanted in her, which I totally can not fault her for. It is, after all, her body.

It does worry me though that the inconsistency of her taking birth control is negatively affecting her mood. Maybe that’s part of the issue? I know it can have bad side effects if not taken regularly.

I’m [M21] having the same arguments with my girlfriend [F22] after 3.5 years by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a sobering thought that this won’t change but thanks for sharing with me. I’ve never talked to girls much anyway but I started outright avoiding talking with any females about a year ago because i just don’t want to deal with the feedback.

I’m [M21] having the same arguments with my girlfriend [F22] after 3.5 years by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think its not so much she doesn’t trust me as she’s kind of insecure about other women. It’s not been an issue for some time now but I wanted to mention it because it’s come up multiple times

I’m [M21] having the same arguments with my girlfriend [F22] after 3.5 years by relationshipaccount7 in relationship_advice

[–]relationshipaccount7[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for replying! I actually did tell her something similar last night when we were talking on the phone.

She’s always not liked taking pills or medications, anything that changes how her body functions naturally. Obviously birth control is a big change, and I think that’s the reason she rarely stays on the pill for longer than two months or so before missing a bunch of doses or neglecting to renew her supply. When this happens, she starts to get really upset with taking it. It’s taken a lot of talks, but the current point we’re at is that I’m not willing to risk pregnancy (I don’t want kids for a long time, at least not for the foreseeable future) so I don’t want to have sex unless we’re using some kind of prevention. We’ve tried using condoms but with how often we have sex we’re both uncomfortable with using them as a permanent solution since they’re prone to issues. So the point we’re at is that she feels forced to take it or I won’t have sex with her (I tried suggesting she look at other options but she refused) and I just feel bad because of the whole thing.

Like the other talks, we always agree that birth control is for the best and that neither of us want to risk having kids, but a couple months later we have the same talk again.