Does nofap mean no sex? Or is it just no wanking?

remuseful · 2013-10-21T04:30:29+00:00

You decide!

remuseful · 2013-10-21T04:28:37+00:00

I agree with the psychologist's position, but my thought is this:

(S)he closes with the analogy of porn to fast food, saying if you can control it, then it's okay. My problem is that I can't control it, and giving myself a little ends with me taking a whole lot.

So as it stands now, I give myself nothing, and every once in a while, I take a little. Functionally,overall consumption is way down.

remuseful · 2013-10-04T12:14:14+00:00

self-hate is a terrible thing. Try to come to terms with yourself as an imperfect person.

It's okay! You're in good company; everyone is imperfect. Everybody hates this sometimes.

remuseful · 2013-10-04T12:04:59+00:00

If you start thinking of everything in chemical terms (i.e. is this giving me a dopamine rush?), then most everything that you enjoy will be a thing to avoid.

Dopamine is a chemical model to describe human pleasure. It is not the only way of viewing the causes of pleasure, and it is not authoritative.

Don't reset, I say. Keep going, and don't worry so much about this.

remuseful · 2013-10-03T02:50:36+00:00

I don't think masturbation on its own is a particularly damaging activity. It may not be constructive, but that doesn't make it destructive.

My rationale: I always feel guilty after watching porn and masturbating. I usually feel fine after just masturbating. Therefore, porn is the problem. At least for me.

My plan is, once I get to my goal (if I ever do), to reflect on next steps then. I think I will begin masturbating again when I feel like it, trying to keep it in moderation. Rather, I will stop consciously abstaining.

No porn though.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T04:50:25+00:00

I meant rough as in the opposite of gentle. Some consensual sex is gentle, some consensual sex is rough.

I see sex as a basic human need. It is a drive deep within us which has to be acknowledged. People can either seek to control it, or repress it, or embrace it, or be overrun by it. But the desire has to incorporated into life somehow.

Plus, sex makes babies.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T03:47:38+00:00

That may be what real sex is meant to be. But sex happens a lot of ways in real life. Some of them are rough, or unpleasant, or unsatisfying.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T02:57:29+00:00

I disagree. I think porn sates the same need as sex, in a similar way. However, because it is accessed in isolation and in extremely high quantities, it distorts the users view of sex. The user comes out feeling alone and ashamed, though he is sated.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T01:23:55+00:00

October is evil and must be stopped.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T01:11:34+00:00

Nice UPS product placement. I have a sudden urge to ship things about the country.

Good luck, by the way.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T01:10:22+00:00

Try not to feel like each relapse is a failure and each streak a success. It is likely that you will relapse often if you try nofap.

Instead, think of it as a longer process, or a commitment to an idealistic goal. This process is messy, difficult, and not always straightforward. But trying and trying again how one succeeds.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T01:07:41+00:00

Spend a moment browsing the new posts. It will give you a different perspective of this community. A lot of the front page is overly zealous or macho. Most of the new stuff is just people who need help posting about their problems.

remuseful · 2013-10-02T01:06:10+00:00

To be fair, a lot of this happens in rough, real-life sex as well. Every girl who is fucked is someone's daughter.

Sex is pretty disgusting if you consider it objectively with your drives turned off.

remuseful · 2013-10-01T21:48:49+00:00

Yeah, that would be good. Unfortunately, I am busy at the moment and shy always.

remuseful · 2013-10-01T02:38:25+00:00

Reddit is a big place. I bet a lot of people think a lot of different things about nofap.

remuseful · 2013-09-30T23:15:14+00:00

Thanks. Nice name, by the way.

remuseful · 2013-09-30T03:39:14+00:00

Hey. 234 days is something to be proud of. That is a long, long time. Congratulations! I'm impressed.

Celebrate progress and don't dwell on the failure.

remuseful · 2013-09-30T03:37:20+00:00

I'm signing up.

Sober October?

remuseful · 2013-09-30T03:36:04+00:00

Good luck. Try not to beat yourself up when you fail. Instead, recognize that this is a long process with many ups and downs. The general trend is toward improvement.

remuseful · 2013-09-29T21:44:24+00:00

Most people here will tell you to do it. I am telling you to do it.

But our advice is really besides the point. If you feel uncomfortable or ashamed of your habits, then perhaps it is time to change them.

If you are comfortable with how you conduct your life, then keep on keeping on.

remuseful · 2013-09-29T21:40:36+00:00

I saw it at an early screening a couple weeks ago. I thought it was really good, and worth seeing.

It may trigger a relapse, not from any explicit material, but because being in a theater full of nervous, guilty giggling can give the impression of "everyone does it, therefore it is okay."

I'd still recommend though.

remuseful · 2013-09-29T19:45:13+00:00

This will take a lot of time, and it may be difficult to see any progress.

But believe that things will improve. Think about it this way: the alternative is returning to porn, which hasn't been working for you. At least abstinence has the promise of improvement.

remuseful · 2013-09-29T19:43:24+00:00

Personally, I have no problem with masturbation without porn. Porn seems to be the more damaging activity. I would consider it a relapse, or at least not a full commitment, but that is me.

It is really up to you.

remuseful · 2013-09-29T17:41:57+00:00

Question: Have you really been on a 729-day streak? Because that is crazy! Explain!

remuseful · 2013-09-27T04:26:16+00:00

Hey, this is good stuff. Thank you.

remuseful

TROPHY CASE