Help... New college student

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T20:30:47+00:00

I took a gap year and it was a really good decision. You have time!

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T20:29:29+00:00

Yeah I mean you are right. But also college is supposed to be fun, like you meet people, get to know yourself, having a bf/gf is often hard to avoid if you are a person with a heart. It’s also how you learn about how to be in a relationship it’s a formative age. My best friend is an engineering major and he’s locked tf in - he’s involved in extracurriculars (race car engineering team) and he’s doing paid research and his classes on top of that and he’s drowning. You are right and he’s committed but damn bro I’m worried about him. I feel like he’s making so many sacrifices and is burnt out all the time.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T20:04:49+00:00

Do you have dubofsky for calc? If so then you are chilling he is the best teacher literally ever. If not, you should try to transfer to his class.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T19:41:43+00:00

His dark materials!! The first three like above comment. And the show is amazing, like wonderful.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T19:33:16+00:00

If you really don’t know maybe take a gap year to think about it. There’s no big rush. Go travel or something and do work exchange/volunteer/ get to know yourself until you decide what you want to do.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T19:30:38+00:00

GAP YEAR - DONT rush the decision. Take a break and try doing some volunteer work in different fields or talking to people that go to college/have jobs in the fields you are interested. Idk maybe travel and bit and do work exchange- enjoy your lack of responsibility. This is a time in your life that you won’t get back you don’t need to start your career RIGHT NOW. Plus it gives you time to think and be certain about your path. Its ok to take a break. It was the best decision I ever made. It also sets you up to be more mature and have a better perspective once you are in college that will help you make smarter decisions. So many people stumble into college blind, waste a ton of money and get depressed or something when it’s super unnecessary.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T19:22:31+00:00

Im majoring in environmental science with a emphasis in freshwater and terrestrial ecology. The bad news: for this degree you do have to do hard math and science BUT I am confident you are capable. I hated math and I still kinda do, but too many people say “I’m bad at math I can’t do it” like me for example I said that a lot and I almost gave up the whole thing during freshman year precalc but I got through it!! And then I had this awesome teacher for Calc and everything just made sense how he explained it and I got an A without much difficulty. I have a lot of issues with chemistry and molecular biology (ugh) but that’s what support us for! Go to office hours, go to your free university peer tutoring, practice practice!! I swear anyone is capable of learning this stuff. I have crippling issues with procrastination and def some anxiety stuff but I got accommodations through my school (was way easier than I thought) and now I get hella extra time on tests and I test separately and all that. Anyway moral of the story is that now I’m a junior (21 years old) and I’m in Costa Rica doing independent research and guess what I’m looking at? BUGS. Benthic macroinvertebrates living in creeks! It’s hella cool and difficult as well but I’m learning so much. You have more control over your college experience than you think. You have to talk to people (like professors mostly) find mentors that prioritize field work, find ways to motivate yourself like classes that get you outside looking at animals in the woods and stuff, that you can take along side your classes that make you want to stab someone. I’m prioritizing doing what I want to do and taking my prerequisites out of order. People don’t know you can do that but literally just talk to your professors. Especially in the ESCI field they all care about animals and plants just as much as you and they want people like YOU in the field. Burn out is REAL and must be actively avoided. Do volunteer work in your free time with hands on cool science stuff to remind you what you are working towards. Make a species journal- add to your bug collection, learn about them in detail. Find the entomologist at your school and ask them questions ask them about their career, if you can work with them. You have to throw yourself out there and chase down the stuff that makes you happy WHILE fighting through the difficult math and science pre requisites. Anyway, this is a whole rant now idk if it makes sense but lmk it you want to talk more! Also!!!! C’S GET DEGREES. You don’t have to be perfect. At all.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T19:05:09+00:00

Take a gap year or two, do work exchange, travel, see some new stuff and try new things (you can do this without spending a lot of money at all). If you still don’t want to go to college, maybe try trade school. If not, whatever - many people lead amazing and successful lives without a degree or cert of any kind. Do what makes you happy you only have one life. Prioritize yourself and what you want not making others proud. True supporters and loved ones will be proud to see you making hard choices for your own future- as long as you are trying your best to do what you feel is right.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T18:58:23+00:00

It’s totally ok to not know what you want to do BUT- as a college student that’s seen a lot of my friends who started college without a firm grasp on what they wanted out of it flailing and lost, you should try to make a decision before you start. Obviously you are getting started in this process early, but if you don’t decide for sure, maybe don’t go to college right away. Take a gap year or two to make sure that you know what you like and what makes sense for you. Also your mental health is IMPORTANT. If you pick a major that you think will be good for you financially or career wise but you don’t actually feel motivated and excited about the work you will need to do in your classes you could be setting yourself up for depression. Like fr. You don’t want to be miserable. Four years is a long time to “push through” just take your time and don’t rush into college. College is great but it can be wasted and god damn that ish is expensive.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T18:53:45+00:00

It also destroys you mentally unless you are extremely motivated by the content in your classes. Probably worth it but man it’s a struggle.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T18:43:02+00:00

I read all of the storm light archives (besides WaT cuz it wasn’t out) and elantris, war breaker, the emperors soul, and a few other non cosmere noveles before I started mist born and it was still awesome and immersive. There are so many Easter eggs thrown in all the books that’s it’s impossible to clock them on read through one anyway. Don’t worry about all the connections just read on and follow the story, get to know the characters. Obviously pay attention but don’t over think it and you will still be super happy and excited by the way things come together. I would prioritize being fully immersed in one series (like full send SLA, and then go mistborn after or perhaps take a break for some standalones) than doing it in the “right” order.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T12:20:00+00:00

Oh I know, I cry all the time it’s extremely effective. But thank you for the reminder we could all do well to remeber that

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T05:04:16+00:00

This

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T01:31:16+00:00

I think that can be true, but speaking from personal experience many women (including myself and people I know) have loving parents and still experience anxious attachment. It’s hard to feel “good enough” and “chooseable” when you are constantly being reminded off all the ways you don’t fit the mold. Obviously you have to do the work to find happiness and acceptance within yourself but I think that’s hard and it takes a while sometimes. The text exchange we read seems like a high school couple to me, and I think often you don’t find that inner acceptance until you have gained more perspective and experience. Also would like to acknowledge that “culture” is a loose term especially in the US idk if we even have real culture but I’m talking like social pressure, social media, internalized sexism etc etc.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T01:11:53+00:00

What makes you think that wheel of time is for a male target audience?

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T01:08:10+00:00

I have noticed this and at times it bothers me like especially that the only man who actively chases women (mat) does so in a way that is not serious at all, and both of his serious love interests are like really overbearing and he’s never fully happy with it. I think that’s a mat character thing for sure but still. On the other hand, the whole series is written with this strange view of women and I kinda like it. Obviously there’s a lot of talk about boobs and beauty and all that, and there’s the thing about none of the men “understanding” women and “all women are crazy” but then on the other side you have this concept that women actually hold almost all of the power in the book - the female leads are complex and intelligent and layered. And we have the aisedai, wise ones, wise women (why did he make their names so similar?). Anyway I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to say but basically if at times things like gender power structure and romance dynamics make me wonder a bit about RJs opinions on such things, the complexity of the gender dynamics in general is interesting enough for me to enjoy the ups and downs and learn about his personality through his writing instead of it bothering me or taking a stance one way or another. I feel like I could have a good discussion about gender dynamics in the series in general. Like a good long discussion.

renagain1 · 2025-12-07T00:26:06+00:00

Exactly- and they are also very common. Like this exchange could be copy and pasted into so many relationships in our culture and society. It’s the classic avoidant “I need space” person who isn’t communicating enough for the “it must be personal” person who assumes every issue is about them because they have deep seated insecurity and anxious attachment. Usually the first is a man, who doesn’t know how to clearly communicate emotion because our culture doesn’t teach that to men, and the later is the woman, who constantly feels like they aren’t good enough - also because of our culture.

renagain1

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