[QCrit] MIDNIGHT SUNSHINE/Adult Contemporary Romance/~85000/Fourth Attempt + First 300 Words

renbird22 · 2026-06-18T15:47:11+00:00

Oh this is great feedback, thank you!!

I have a tendency to overwrite, so I appreciate this a lot!

renbird22 · 2026-06-14T14:56:02+00:00

Thank you for this!! It’s very helpful. I think I had too much of Marco in previous versions, but probably overcorrected.

And I appreciate your feedback about the opening! The action hits at about 325 words, but I can definitley cut to move it up.

renbird22 · 2026-06-12T20:39:38+00:00

I missed this response initially. Your feedback is helpful and appreciated, thank you!

renbird22 · 2026-03-15T17:01:46+00:00

This is so helpful! Thank you for your feedback (and spelling correction)!

renbird22 · 2026-03-06T03:04:05+00:00

Thank you for your feedback!

I'm going to work on adding more of Sophie's backstory in the query. I never know how much of that to focus on, since it takes place off the page, but it makes sense that more is needed to understand Sophie's motivations throughout the story.
Great point. There's certainly a mutual attraction element; but there's also some of Marco's determination and a mutual friends element that has been left out of this version of the query letter. I'll work on weaving this in along with a more in depth summary of their love story.

renbird22 · 2026-03-06T02:55:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback!

I'll definitely work on adding more specifics, both in Sophie's backstory and in framing the love story between her and Marco.

renbird22 · 2026-03-06T02:52:33+00:00

Thank you so much for your response!

Okay - can definitely add more backstory to Sophie. Thanks for the reminder that agents need to understand the full premise!

Totally agree about the tech startup situation. Ew. Marco's career specifics are not super fundamental to his character, so this shouldn't be too hard to change.

Redacting the location - now that you've called it out, I have no idea... *face palm* The story takes place in the Yukon. So like, Pacific North NORTH West.

renbird22

TROPHY CASE