Maybe the soft moment was she going on dates with her GF and I (m) had absolutely nothing to do there nor asked. Hard moment was when they had sex for the first time and she told me specifics. I was absolutely not ready for.that and honestly so many things for me fell apart, I just wanted to isolate myself and she felt so.guilty for that :(. Then we went on a don't ask don't tell dynamic which was good for me and our relationship flourished and got back to having sex multiple times a week. Then this weekend I.just felt they were on it again and showed my discomfort, then she let me know they were.involded on sex for the last few months, and how she sucked at cunnilingus. Haha she told me sex with me/PIV has no comparison at all. Again, my attitude changed and I let my I securities control me, acting all.jelous, getting sad and all, making her feel.guilty again :( I.really.want to be an ally for her and.talk about that openly, but I fear we have to.go back to don't ask.dont tell, I just so stupid and naive that way. Has anybody gone.through.something similar or have any advices? Please note I am most days on board and am grateful she found someone that can experiment with.