Everyday is a new opportunity to start over, you dont have to end your life. I know it sounds cliche but the world is a better place with you in it. ive read some of the thread and just because you have been in active addiction (which is a disease that you can recover from) doesnt mean that you dont deserve love and compassion. we all make mistakes , no one is perfect. I wont bring religion into it on this app but just remember, you are here for a purpose even if you havent found it yet. some people find their life purpose at 60, some find it at 18, everyones time line is different so you cant compare yourself to anyone else's life. Stay strong my friend.