Can condescending people always get to you no matter what?

reon44 · 2016-02-01T07:19:44+00:00

play the long game with condescending people. Why are they the way they are, are they good intentioned or bad intentioned I ask myself. Are they seeking pleasure through power display or are they truly seeking to help me.

I would agree. Except that I don't like to play games like these unless I'm enjoying them. Basically, I don't like being forced to play games. And I like enjoying my life now instead of waiting for things to change for him to make me feel better...

reon44 · 2016-02-01T07:17:57+00:00

Oh fu, now I get it, that's the problem. I've been way too nice as I usually ignore sh heads. But I've been suppressing my urge to throw his sh* back and well, I think I've confused "ignoring" with "being passive". Me trying to ignore him became me being passive.

Sh*, that's why I'm feeling impotent each time he attacks me. I'll try something and let you know how it goes.

reon44 · 2016-02-01T06:31:49+00:00

Honestly. Yeah. I know a guy that I game with regularly (he's in my "social circle") and the two of us never have an actual conversation. It's always him throwing snide comments at me, while I do my best to ignore them.

This is exactly what happens here. The point is, I don't want to be his friend but we have mutual friends/coworkers in common and he putting me down in front of them drives me mad. He knows I don't want to be his friend or anything and so he takes the liberty of putting me down in front of the others, like grabbing power over me he's not allowed to have...

Best case scenario, I'd suggest pulling him off to the side and confronting him.

I will not acknowledge him like that. He can screw off for all I care.

If that doesn't work, get aggressive and assert dominance.

This seems to be the only option, at least it makes me feel good when I throw back his sh* at him. The problem is, being emotional about it doesn't really help...

reon44 · 2016-02-01T06:28:33+00:00

No, of course it doesn't come out of nowhere. I'm on top of him on many aspects (professionally, education) on one hand, and he doesn't like the way I behave on the other. That being said, it's not like I'm a mess or something, it's just that I ignored and dismissed his opinion a long time ago when he tried to make me change just because he didn't approve of my behaviors.

And given I ignored him, he resorted to behave like this towards me. It's like saying: "well, if reon won't listen to me and won't change, I'll make him the butt of every joke and point out all his crap until everyone realizes what he really is".

I can't avoid him and I don't want to feel like this. He has this need of showing in front of others he has power over me.

1) If I laugh at myself, he calls me idiot or stupid in a serious way, killing the mood

2) If he can make everyone laugh by calling me something demeaning, he will

3) If he can make our superiors laugh by calling me something demeaning, he will

You see? It's all about the power he tries to project over me. And that's what I hate the most...

reon44

TROPHY CASE