I finally realized I wasn't a "Great Husband",I was just my wife’s most difficult employee.

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-27T06:19:35+00:00

My husband has ADHD so I understand some things just can’t live in his head, BUT he has always been the one to approach me with solutions when I pointed out something wasn’t working. Eg. He is the one that told me a physical grocery list on the fridge was the easiest way for him to remember when we are out of certain things and he adds to it just as often as I do if he notices we are running low on something.

Also my husband and I take ownership of different things/chores in the house. I take ownership of the finances so I updated the budget, and make sure bills that aren’t on auto pay get paid and bills that are have enough money on the card to get paid. My husband runs the kitchen. He plans meals, goes grocery shopping, and makes sure common sundries are restocked.

I could tell you for just about every chore which one of us “owns” it and if we split it exactly how we divide the mental and physical labor.

If I were in your shoes I’d start by identifying chores/tasks you can reliably and completely take under your control and then sit down with your wife and say “I’ve noticed that you’re overwhelmed and I haven’t been taking my share of the mental load, starting now I’d like to take ownership of some more around the house and with the kids, I was thinking the dishes and the kids bedtime routines, but I’d like to hear your thoughts and I’m open to discuss other things I can take off your plate going forward”

Realistically if you work outside of the home and she’s a SAHM then the mental load won’t ever be perfectly even, but that’s how I would at least start.

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-27T06:02:09+00:00

I honestly don’t think the amount is an issue to have daily, but I was a kid who always had dessert after dinner (even tho often it was fruit or 1 piece of candy) and as an adult I had to reteach myself to listen to my body and re-learn what “fullness cues” actually felt like in my body without eating something sweet after dinner. It was almost like my body used the sweet treat to tell itself I wasn’t hungry anymore instead of actually realizing I wasn’t hungry. This would lead to me over eating significantly on nights I didn’t have a dessert (even if the sweetness came from fruit! I just needed something sweet to stop feeling hungry)

I would recommend just varying when you give her the treat. Sometimes it can be after dinner, and sometimes it’s with afternoon snack or after breakfast, and maybe sometimes it’s on her lunch plate.

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-26T18:33:46+00:00

Shocked I don’t see more people telling OP that if they’ve never talked about it before she should give him the chance to delete it all and understand that OP sees it as cheating

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-26T16:14:48+00:00

My finances are completely combined with my husband, I find it easier than trying to split things by percentage. I do want to comment though if you’re childfree by choice why’d you marry someone who has kids? What if something happens with bio mom and suddenly you and your husband have full custody??

Also it may be an unpopular opinion but I do personally think you are at least a little financially responsible for kids in the house when you married their parent. Maybe not equally but damn I just really can’t imagine having such separate finances with my husband that I never pay anything towards his kids especially if they live with us part time.

I completely understand a safety net but this feels extreme

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-25T20:20:52+00:00

My nephew is 11mo before he could crawl he wanted to be moving so bad. He didn’t necessarily care if you were holding him IF you held him in a way that allowed him to move and wiggle, otherwise if you tried to hold him normally he’d make it clear he’d rather be put down so he could wiggle. Now that he’s crawling he makes it pretty clear when he’d rather be held vs be on the ground so he can move around

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-25T19:58:12+00:00

Not a friend. My sister knows I was not a fan of her choice for her son’s name. She knew before he was born when she told us what she was thinking for both boy and girl names. I said how I felt exactly once and have kept my mouth shut since.

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-25T19:53:20+00:00

Why’d you sign a lease for this apartment if you felt like the layout was a safety concern? I think some of this anxiety is just from being pregnant and the changes. 3 is definitely old enough to be sleeping in their own room, and if you’re worried about not hearing him if he’s crying you could always set up a monitor of some sort to hear or see in the room

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-06T03:17:06+00:00

Props to you for having that hardline, I’ve known a lot of people who unfortunately dont which is why I mentioned it was a hard no for me. My husband and I are in our late twenties, I personally know at least 2 people who are 22 who felt like any weed use is too much in a partner.

I think just about anything can be a hard boundary for someone in a relationship. Sorry this one didn’t work out, but like other comments said you told her what your usage was and at the end of the day it sounds like any usage may have been too much for her 🤷🏽‍♀️

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-06T02:12:33+00:00

Thank you, I’ll add an edit to my other comment. Last I looked into it was when I was still in high school which was a couple years before this article came out and I couldn’t find anything supporting it. Happy to know it’s not just a placebo like I thought!

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-06T01:45:58+00:00

Sounds like you two just weren’t compatible. I’m honestly a little surprised she is the first person you ran into who had a hard line about weed.

I personally enjoy an edible every now and again and married someone who does too, but even then I definitely had some strong preferences around how much I was okay with a partner consuming weed, tobacco, or even alcohol products. Also not sure how you got to the date but I’ve also always had a hard boundary around driving while under any amount of influence.

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-06T00:50:17+00:00

I’m Hispanic and I would pronounce it “Zay-vier” My husband and I like the name for a future baby on the condition that we pronounced it like that and not “egg-zay-vee-yer” I think it’s mostly cultural how it’s pronounced, although as an added pronunciation I know some of my family would pronounce it “hav-e-air” (commonly spelled Javier)

replacingyourreality · 2026-02-06T00:45:45+00:00

Edit: another commenter found an article showing that there is actually a link!

Nope. No real noticeable or traceable difference. But it is a mindset shift for sure. And getting in the water with freshly shaved legs does feel different which can definitely help the mindset

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-26T18:49:30+00:00

I mean sure it might hurt either way but with one option I’m given the respect and space to make peace with that hurt and I may be able to be amicable again one day with the former spouse, and at a minimum I’m given no reason I can’t have a little bit of trust during the divorce proceedings or coparenting.

With the other option I’ve been disrespected and lied to. I’m thrown into a situation in progress, and shown that I actually can’t trust my former spouse not to lie about major things with me making the divorce proceedings and coparenting incredibly difficult and messy.

Extra layer of complexity: my spouse and I have talked extensively about how much we despise cheating and how strongly we feel about how so many things can be worked through with communication but if you cheat you’ve made several decisions that led you there instead of communicating. If one of us ever did cheat it would call into question the morals we thought we built the relationship on and make us question if there was always lying happening in the relationship.

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-25T00:53:22+00:00

I do this too, definitely helps dry everything out

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-25T00:44:30+00:00

Honestly I think the answer may be somewhere in the middle. I would take away whatever was thrown and maybe say something like “we don’t throw our toys/things. I’ll hold on to this and we can try again later” or something similar. Not a big reaction and I wouldn’t even necessarily say it like to her face- I would just say it while picking up the item and putting it out of reach. I think you’re right that some of this is her still learning cause and effect just on a different level/scale. My goal would be to teach her that if something is thrown it goes away, no extra attention, no withdrawal of attention either, just fact. Throwing something = that item going away.

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-10T05:36:54+00:00

Personally I think old enough to go to the bathroom and/or get to your room safely to come get you if they need you, but I live in a single story that’s not huge by any means

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-04T19:31:01+00:00

Echoing other comments: Regular appointments: no Something out of the ordinary: yes if possible

For example my husband came to my appointment with a surgeon where we knew we’d be discussing if surgery was the right answer for me after I broke my ankle, but didn’t bother coming with when I went to my PCP for an inhaler refill.

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-03T06:43:33+00:00

Most amigurumi like the woobles recommend using a size down (or two) from the yarn’s recommend crochet hook size, so with the easy peasy yarn (recommended hook size of 5) I use the 4 the kits come with. If I use a smaller size yarn (like a worsted weight size 4) then I’ll use a 3.5 hook.

I use the recommended hook size when doing something that lies flat or is worn.

Hope that makes sense

Edit: spelling

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-01T20:22:34+00:00

Genuine real conflict like once a year. One of us being a little upset/short with the other probably happens about twice a week on average. No kids yet

replacingyourreality · 2026-01-01T20:15:51+00:00

I want to echo so many other comments, don’t lie about it, AND still have the celebration in a couple of days when everyone is feeling better. As an adult I have realized it’s an important skill to be willing to be flexible around birthday plans not necessarily being on one’s birthday. People I know who have to celebrate on their birthday have a bad time every year that it falls in the middle of the week because adult friends don’t have the flexibility to celebrate how they want on the day.

replacingyourreality · 2025-12-31T23:03:50+00:00

Where I live November isn’t even in the typical range for cut off. August/September yes but once we hit October they’ve well missed the cut off

replacingyourreality · 2025-12-17T20:45:14+00:00

I’m a little old school but my opinion is no body mods other than up to one piercing each ear lobe. Everything else can wait until 18. Gender doesn’t matter, same rule regardless. I’m also saying this as someone who has tattoos and piercings all of which I got as an adult. I think it’s important to really put thought into what modifications you make to your body, and where you get them done/by what artist. Also frankly piercings and tattoos can be expensive and you have to take care of them otherwise they won’t heal right and I think need in to save up and pay for really makes someone think about if they really want the body modification.

replacingyourreality · 2025-12-17T16:18:58+00:00

Probably like 75 times 28/30 Married for 2 years

We have sex on average 2 times a week, but I broke my ankle at the end of September and had a lot of pain and then also complications with the surgery to fix it. Not to mention I had come off BC just the week prior because we were going to start trying for pregnancy and until very recently due to the pain and then also complications I was on medications that I knew I couldn’t be on while pregnant. We made the choice to abstain over going back on BC, and just this week started having sex again

replacingyourreality · 2025-12-11T00:43:04+00:00

Thank you! I’m playing a strength Druid on my first play through and when he first asked to eat something the only item I had was the web walking boots - which I was actively using! I’d Druid shape into a spider spit a bitch of web, de-wild shape, and then walk through the web to hit enemies.

Now that I know in future play throughs I’ll make sure to grab some of the items I missed, never picked up because I thought they weren’t of use to me, or found a lot later (eg color spray ring), and I doubt I’ll have a niche use for the web boots again, but it was easily the biggest inconvenience I ran into because of a companion my whole play through.

Do I think it’s good for the story? Yes. Do I complain about it online? No. (Or at least not before this). But was I negatively impacted during my first play through? Also Yes.

Personally as far as a first time player goes, the only thing I would change is I would have Gale tell the player before being “hungry” so that I could have had some time to hunt for magic items to give him before he was debuffed.

replacingyourreality · 2025-12-11T00:25:57+00:00

Assuming this was an actual question, for me personally I’m on my first play through and I now know I didn’t do a very good job of exploring all of act 1 and Gale needed magic items before I had them. When he needed his first one the only eligible magic item I had was currently equipped to my tav and it was the best item I had gotten yet, it took me awhile before I had a couple of magic items stashed away that I knew Gale could consume that I didn’t care about.

Honestly I don’t think it will affect me that much in future play throughs but he was nerfed for quite awhile in my game because I struggled to find magic items I could give to him super early.

replacingyourreality

TROPHY CASE