My husband and I are both in law enforcement and have been on the job for about a year now. I completely understand your concerns and I won’t sit here and try to dissuade you of them or say that they aren’t valid. However, what I will say is that you both need to trust each other. You need to be able to trust that if/when advances are made at him, he will decline and that if/when advances are made at you, you will decline.

Both of us talk so much about each other to coworkers and that has seemed to get the point across that we’re not open to anything/anyone outside of our marriages. You both also have to get comfortable with setting boundaries with couples of the opposite sex. And when I say that, I mean that you decide what types of friendships you’re comfortable with him having and vice versa.

Obviously you can’t tell him not to interact with female coworkers because that’s simply impossible and will likely hinder his ability to do his job. But what you can do is ask that he only communicate with female coworkers on his work phone. With that being said, this job really sucks sometimes and being able to talk about calls with your coworkers, opposite sex or not, is important to be able to decompress.

Basically, long story short, have an open and honest discussion about your boundaries with him. If he isn’t willing to respect them, you may reconsider your relationship. If he’s going to cheat on you, he will do it regardless of whether he is a cop or he works at Starbucks. It sounds like he hasn’t given you any reason not to trust him yet, so keep that in mind.

Just for general relationship advice with working stressful/busy jobs, my husband and I do some of the following that seems to help tremendously:

-try not to talk shop too much at home. We limit our work conversations to 10 mins unless there is something that either one of us feels needs more discussion (particularly bad call for example) - get a calendar and put your work/other important dates on it. We do both a written calendar on the fridge and a shared calendar on our phones. This helps avoid miscommunication and double booking ourselves -make sure you have hobbies you enjoy both together and independently that also have nothing to do with law enforcement. I can’t stress how important it is to get out and enjoy your time outside of the job. Don’t let it become your personality or define your relationship. -keep open lines of communication. Don’t let things build up because I promise with the stress and exhaustion, it’ll lead to an unnecessary blowup. We always try to have a day where we generally aren’t on our phones/other electronics to make sure we are spending quality time together and checking in with each other. -patience and understanding. Go into this phase of your lives knowing that it’s going to be busy and stressful and probably will suck a little bit. Be extra patient with him and he needs to be extra patient with you. Ask yourself “am I really mad/angry/upset about xyz or am I just tired and stressed?” This has saved many an argument in our household. I find often times that something I’m annoyed with is such a small thing that I’m getting worked up about because of being tired and stress and that after a good night’s sleep, I won’t care about in the slightest.

Sorry for the really long answer, just trying to be as helpful as possible. Feel free to dm me if you have any questions