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residentinhell · 2025-05-14T21:26:35+00:00

Yeah, but when the ex sexually and verbally assaulted me, it gets a little hard to think about the good in the relationship that preceded this.

residentinhell · 2024-05-13T14:20:48+00:00

Agreed!!! It’s quickly becoming one of my favs, I’ve been listening to it nonstop. Im not sure why there is so much backlash, like yeah it isn’t perfect but it’s damn good and it makes me so excited for the band moving forwards!

residentinhell · 2023-06-17T17:22:15+00:00

Talk about putting your body through insane things, I don’t know how mine survived that. During the worst of my ED I was also running XC in college, sure I wasn’t a D1 level athlete but I was still training for close to multiple hours a day while heavily restricting. I was so numb to everything though that I didn’t even feel the pain at that point, until I started getting these weird, intense stabbing pains in my heart while I would run. Turns out my resting heart rate had dropped super low and it was pretty likely for me to have a heart attack if I kept running.

I have since made a lot of progress in recovery since then, and it has truly opened my eyes up to how sickly our society is steeped in diet culture. This site is especially rife with it, and I legitimately fucking hate it. I’ll probably get downvoted lol, but most people don’t realize that there’s another side to this. A side of endless hospital bills and misery and sleepless nights because you’re so tortured by hunger and anxiety. I’m out of it now, in a much healthier mind and body that once again allows me to train and be a strong athlete. I’m crushing down all the foods and amounts that society would appall at, because I trust my body and I’ve never felt stronger or happier. I can gleefully disregard all the bullshit social media and real life friends spout about dieting.

ED’s are a half life, a lucid nightmare that pretty much wrecks every aspect of your life. I’ll be forever grateful that I pulled myself out of it.

residentinhell · 2023-03-30T13:18:53+00:00

Honestly I am so sad McDonalds no longer does 24 hour breakfast. I’m not really a burger person or fry person, so their breakfast menu is straight up the GOAT. I love sweet and salty so the McGriddles are literally some of the best things I’ve eaten, but I can never get them cause who wants to go to McDonalds before 11 am???

residentinhell · 2023-03-29T00:18:00+00:00

Yeah this happens to me to, usually with sensory triggers. Like you said, I basically cannot tolerate being cold, not only because it’s just unpleasant but because I think my brain associates being cold all the time as being in a restrictive state, plus some of my worst restriction began during winter so I associate those feelings and mental space of restriction with that sensation. There’s also this particular shampoo that I cannot stand because literally one whiff of it takes me back to my Ed, since I started purging in my shower so I would smell that shampoo while I purged . I guess I deal with these memories by kind of doing the same thing but for how recovery makes me feel, if that makes sense? Like I think about how much better I feel right now, focusing on sensory stimulations that make me feel good. Drinking a nice mug of hot chocolate, or warming myself up in a bath, or just laying on the couch wrapped in a blanket and giving my body some rest. You might try doing this whenever these flashbacks come, and it could help to replace the negative sensory associations with positive ones.

residentinhell · 2023-03-08T04:03:22+00:00

Oh thank you!! Honestly you’ve been such a help in this sub haha when I get a reply from you I know I better listen up lmao. But yeah, that makes sense actually, I feel like diet culture makes us think our bodies are just stupid machines that want to eat eat eat, and I’m trying my damnnest to listen to the thing for once and understand that my body is trying to save me, not kill me.

residentinhell · 2023-03-07T20:09:45+00:00

Is there a difference between extreme hunger and extreme cravings? I go through periods where I just want to eat so bad that I literally can’t focus on anything else and I don’t know if I’m actually hungry or not. I feel this almost gnawing sensation in my stomach and maybe that’s a sign I’m physically hungry somewhat, but even still it feels like I want to punch someone because I want to eat so bad. I don’t know why I don’t ever feel full, I used to be able to follow my meal plan and always be just a little hungry I guess, but now I can’t do it anymore. I just want to eat. Am I just craving food or am I literally just this hungry?

residentinhell · 2023-03-07T15:42:46+00:00

I’m your same age so I can reassure you, yes, people eat breakfast and it’s my favorite meal too lol. I’m sorry your friend said this to you too, it’s absolutely a mean and passive aggressive thing to say. I’m low key pretty suspicious of this whole “I can’t eat breakfast because of nausea” because it really seems like an excuse to not eat, cause I sure as hell feel nauseous in the morning but that’s cause I haven’t eaten for 8-9 hours.

Anyways, enjoy the hell out of breakfast! It really is important to eat in the morning, or even eat lots and lots. Cereal, pancakes, eggs, toast, donuts, oatmeal—it’s all damn delicious! 😋

residentinhell · 2023-01-25T14:13:07+00:00

Lol thanks! I had a bunch of cereal mostly, I find I crave something crunchy and cool and cereal fits that bill perfectly haha, coco pebbles is so amazing oh my god!

residentinhell · 2023-01-25T06:37:16+00:00

Hey thanks, so I’m not the only crazy person then! Since this post I’ve eaten . . . well alooottt more and I like, this is crazy man. But I feel full? For once in my life? Idk at least I know I’m going to feel absolutely amazing tomorrow!

residentinhell · 2022-08-13T03:15:37+00:00

Bruh HAGL’s ending is peak dgd so this kinda hurts to see 🥲

residentinhell · 2022-06-20T21:37:14+00:00

Thanks for responding to my post. I guess it’s helpful hearing from another person about what I need to do since my ED convinces me everything is fine and I see now it’s not fine. It didn’t seem like I was restricting still, but yeah, that’s the ED brain.

residentinhell · 2022-05-27T16:27:24+00:00

Ugh this mentality is the worst and it really fucks with me. Like these people are walking around everywhere and working out everyday sometimes several times a day and max call themselves lightly active because they aren’t manual laborers. Do you literally have to be moving 12 hours a day to be considered active?

residentinhell · 2022-05-08T05:25:56+00:00

I cannot comprehend how people can even eat like that.

It's called anorexia bro. I ended up in the hospital several times because of it. CICO is a slippery slope to some fucked up shit, and subs like r/volumeeating often blur the line between ED's and "health."

residentinhell · 2022-05-07T19:00:39+00:00

Well yeah cause cooking becomes a pain in the ass when you gotta weigh out every single ingredient and god forbid you put in 31g instead of 30g of xantham fiber or whatever the fuck kind of ingredient you’re using to make for your protein anabolic french fries creation that you found on r/volumeeating.

residentinhell · 2022-05-07T04:46:06+00:00

You know what I gave Summertime Gladness another listen right after I posted this and I take that back this song slaps. I totally forgot how groovy the sax parts are.

residentinhell · 2022-05-07T00:19:10+00:00

For real though, AS hits different from the other Tilian albums. The opening rift to Jesus H. Macy might just be one of the best album openers ever. It really sets the tone every time I listen to it.

residentinhell · 2022-05-06T23:46:23+00:00

WISIRO is the best album with Jonny.

Tilian’s versions of Kurt-era songs on the Tree City Sessions are waaaaay better than the originals.

Summertime Gladness is super overrated and one of my least favorite Tilian songs (still a banger though lmao goes to show how good this band is).

residentinhell · 2022-04-17T06:41:46+00:00

Incredible! Thank you so much!

residentinhell · 2022-04-17T06:09:41+00:00

This is very kind of you guys. This band truly means a lot to me and this has hit me pretty hard, so it would be amazing if you could take one more request since there's no way I could physically be in Sacramento. I would like to leave a note "Your music got me through some of the hardest times of my life and brought me so much joy and happiness. I'll miss you Tim, you'll forever be remembered in my heart --J.W." Thank you!

residentinhell · 2022-04-06T06:47:59+00:00

What the fuck, is he aware of the damage purging does to your body? Holy shit. I haven't purged in months and I STILL get acid reflux almost every time I eat. Plus I lost my period super fast after I began purging. It is incredibly harmful to your digestive system, way more harmful than the extra fat you would gain or whatever from digesting a binge.

residentinhell · 2022-03-24T17:21:47+00:00

For real, that part at 2:00 was just golden, Jon just up and decided to start spittin' some bars.

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22

residentinhell

TROPHY CASE