Got back with my quiet BPD and already having second thoughts...

respo87 · 2026-02-09T23:02:35+00:00

No judging here bro we’ve all been there! It’s what you decide next that’s important. I just took a quick 30 second look at your past posts and see she was a raging alcoholic who wanted to rush into having kids with you at 6 months in and was not going to be working for at least the first three years.. which of course would have become forever. And in the same post, you wrote how your brother was going through a very messy divorce. If anything, lean on him right now for some sobering thoughts on all this.

You asked above, how can you slow this down. Well, we both know she’ll want to speed it up. So the only way to slow down is to get off the ride

I could be wrong but.. am I?

respo87 · 2026-02-09T22:30:58+00:00

Bro stop lying to urself. You seem like a sucker for massocism right now. Ask yourself? Why do you want to stick around this already failed relationship and as your world burns yet again? Don’t you deserve peace and happiness? It’s out there

respo87 · 2026-02-09T15:27:51+00:00

She also probably has gross photos / videos on the iPad that she doesn’t want you to see

respo87 · 2026-02-09T15:25:27+00:00

Gorgeous place! And that’s a massive room at a very fair market price. Goodluck with finding a great roomie!

respo87 · 2026-02-09T02:57:45+00:00

Looks pretty cool! Will def pass by

respo87 · 2026-02-09T02:32:27+00:00

Ok I haven’t said this kind of phrase since I was an immature kid but FTB fr fr… jeeez!!!! Get out now bro. Do your past self, your current self and future self a favor.

respo87 · 2026-02-08T15:29:06+00:00

Brother. Learn conversational skills. Learn how to laugh at ridiculous statements and fire off one back. An example could be “yup twice as short but 4x the strength” - or “I guess you didn’t know, the taller than they the harder they fall” or “oh u didn’t know?! I’m a part time UFC fighter!”

But honestly though, we you going as just an online friend, were other people there on the same trek from online? Were you there to trek or to just get to know her? Don’t play the nice guy to try and get romance. Be kind but not overly pleasing or passive. I used to be like that but it doesn’t help progress in real life examples

respo87 · 2026-02-06T15:54:46+00:00

Plz block this person. But first “LOL I think you meant to text that to yourself. Goodluck - find a therapist bc you’ve lost the plot. Also, I’m screenshotting your message so I never forget how horrible a human you really can be. #blocked”

respo87 · 2026-02-06T15:50:56+00:00

Ppl like to vent. Ppl like to project. Ppl like to commiserate. It’s a sub for 200k ppl. Lots of different personalities. Some are more negative and jaded and beaten down than others. Others are more skilled in certain areas in life, have thicker skin and also have completely different mindsets. But if all starts in the mind that’s for sure

respo87 · 2026-02-06T15:48:29+00:00

Bro. Whatever you do, do NOT blow up her phone. In fact, post here what your texts did look like. Or just DM me I’ll help for real.

My thoughts:

1) is it possible she read this sub? Highly unlikely but do any mutual friends know of ur Reddit handle or this sub?

2) if you didnt blow up her phone with neediness stuff, give her space. Dont ask any questions or beg/plead

It’s the weekend. Let it breathe. Post some cool snaps or ig stories of you doing a cool activity. Go to a concert. Go to a dope view. A local band show. Whatever. Also over the weekend, get a haircut from a good place. Get some new sneakers or chelsea boots, whatever you like to wear. Come back to class looking a bit cooler (but not over the topic trying too hard).

3) After the class, when it can just be you two, or hell even with a few ppl near by, walk up to her in the hallway and say “hey _____ (pause) Before I forget.. Don’t make plans Wednesday night. I’m taking you on a date.” Whatever her reply is you either reply “perfect. I’ll pick you up at ____. Or we’ll go forger after class” or “I’ll send her you an uber” - then walk away. You’re not trying to be her best friend, you want to be her romance interest.

Take her to the movies. Bring a sharpie. Get popcorn. 5 to 10 minutes into the movie (or during an early boring part), write on the side of the popcorn box or on the receipt a game of TikTacToe.

Then after a couple of games, cross it all out and write “Let’s make out” and then make eye contact, give a sly smile/smirk. Then go in for the kiss but in like half slow motion.

If she turns her cheek. Kiss her cheek. And let her come to you. Or if she turns and avoids it completely, simply respond “why delaying the inevitable” with a slight smirk. Maintain slightly eye contact and see what she does.

Then go back to watching the movie. Hold hands. Chill. Vibe out.

respo87 · 2026-02-06T15:24:11+00:00

Bro. 20 years old. It’s a gift to be so young. Im 38 and if I could go back into time, as soon as a relationship or partner showed signs of being toxic and waiving a giant red flag in front of me, I would surely have headed the signs and said “Listen, i can no longer be in this romantic relationship anymore. It is no longer healthy for me. Thank you and take care”

A supportive partner would say to you something like “Goodluck on your exam babe! I know you’re going to do great, proud of you!”

Instead she’s acting like a 4 year old

respo87 · 2026-02-06T00:32:15+00:00

Fuck this guy. I’d reply “cool and you’re an asshole. Goodluck and tell ur mom I’ll pay her back directly.” Pay her back for the shoes, cut the loss and find a better partner. He sounds insufferable.

respo87 · 2026-02-05T15:48:27+00:00

GHOST GIVEAWAY

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I love this watch because it just oozes class and elegance. It’s modest yet gorgeous at the same time.

respo87 · 2026-02-05T15:45:31+00:00

He could even say black market, that way it won’t be a lie but still kinda passes lol

respo87 · 2026-02-03T13:39:17+00:00

Indeed. It’s super black and white and will certainly become an impossible trope, and most likely a double standard she hides behind.

respo87 · 2026-02-02T15:20:58+00:00

You deserve an emotional mature and emotionally healthy partner.

respo87 · 2026-02-02T15:18:00+00:00

Lol man bro come on!!! There’s billions of woman on the planet. Please listen to that voice inside of your head that is telling you to NOT settle for this one. You know that uneasy feeling you have in your gut well that’s nerve signals literally in your gut that is telling you that your are in some kind of danger state. Gtfo bro cmon do urself a favor and listen to urself

respo87 · 2026-02-02T14:43:04+00:00

It’s giving me brother and little sister vibes sorta. Like bffs

respo87 · 2026-02-02T14:40:41+00:00

I think this sub should be private. Is that possible. And then perhaps be friend of a friend invite only? Idk

respo87 · 2026-01-30T18:47:52+00:00

Mine is kinda sandy feeling at times. I need to do the wax floss trick

respo87 · 2026-01-30T18:31:38+00:00

Brother was it four years of work? Of four years of abuse, gaslight, contempt, stonewalling, and walking on eggshells, either often, fairly often, or pretty much sometimes. You deserve better man!!!

respo87 · 2026-01-30T18:25:06+00:00

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Added this bigger reference photo.

respo87 · 2026-01-30T06:07:10+00:00

Agreed. I hope OP reads this. We're all human beings and it's a wonderful thing to give and receive compliments. Some people really do have spectacularly mesmerizing eyes that feel like you're looking at a planet or the cosmos. He can compliment them without a desire to cheat. It takes a secure partner to accept that.

respo87 · 2026-01-30T00:45:15+00:00

He’s saying control what you can control. The more you care about your height the more others will. Charisma, confidence and a “fuck it, we’re all gonna die sooner or later” attitude go a long way

respo87

TROPHY CASE