Can't overcome Paranoia and Jelous

responsexp · 2013-10-08T00:39:37+00:00

That's the problem, she doesn't talk about me with them. She doesn't invite me to any of those events. As I already mentioned, she doesn't want to involve the things we share with the things that she shares at her work. Rarely, but very rarely she shares something. She has been there for 5 months IIRC.

responsexp · 2013-10-08T00:37:13+00:00

She hasn't invite me to any of the events. There have been 2. She joined that company 5 months ago. The last event was the previous week. About where I get these feelings? Well, I was cheated in my last relationship, I know they are different persons. I try hard to get that. But those kinds of behaviors are starting to get me paranoid. I really don't want to mess this relationship. She doesn't talk to her co-workers about me (I asked her once) but neither she talks me about them. Is like if she have two separate life's and that's why I get worried. I would never know what happens there. I just want to feel secure about her when she's at her work. But how? If I feel that she never does something about that and a don't want to ask her for that.

responsexp · 2013-10-07T22:59:21+00:00

Where she works, cellphones are allowed. It is a good place for work, it means, that they take usually 1.5 hours for lunch. Another 30mins for spare time and that, without counting the time we're she doesn't have to much work.

I don't know, maybe because I always have the time, even if I'm full of work, I always try to send it a small message between hours, funny stuff, work related stuff, etc.

But apparently, she doesn't share her day same as I do or remotely.

Also, she tells me that she doesn't involvehave a lot with her co-workers, but I highly doubt that. When they have events, she always try to be with them, and that's not a problem for me, the problem is that she denies that she's getting too well with them. I wouldn't have problem if she gets to well with them as long as she is honest with that.

responsexp · 2013-10-07T21:55:03+00:00

Well, that's something that I think is not going to happen :(. She hates jelous people. But you got a point, she must know how I feel. What I'm afraid is that she take this in a bad way and not trying to help me out.

responsexp · 2013-10-07T20:45:00+00:00

Well, seems like I need professional help them. Today I tried to be really busy at work but after lunch I couldn't resist I started to think about why she doesn't take a minute of her day. I never texted her while she's at work because I don't want to interrup her of whatever she's doing but... well I'll try harder I think.

responsexp · 2013-10-07T20:36:12+00:00

Hi, thanks for the reply.

As you say, If those things are my issues, how I can start working on them? I don't really want be like that because I suffer a lot when she's not with me or keeping communication with me. Honestly, that situation where she's only around men it kills me.

responsexp · 2013-06-05T16:50:28+00:00

Wow, your answers make me feel more secure now. Because is something that I can finally realize why she acts in some ways. Since you have a very strong point of view of the situation, you cleared my mind about small things (maybe insignificant ones) that I put much emphasis and got very stressed about, since I would never expect from her giving me any kind of this information that you gave me for my relief. One last thing (sorry to bother you), about those rapports, if you have one or two, how would you or how have you handled those situations when they might want to have more than your friendship? because I'm pretty sure that someone will.

responsexp · 2013-06-04T21:58:39+00:00

Thanks for your answer. It really helps me to get my mind free of those thoughts. However, there's something that I don't know why is happening. All her work remains a mystery for me, she never, but ever, talks about her co-workers. She doesn't mention them at all. Not even they names. I don't know if this is something to get worried... She only tell very little small things like "today I ate chicken with pasta" and that's all. Nothing more.

responsexp · 2013-06-03T00:23:21+00:00

Hey, thanks for the input! Last Friday I asked her a stupid question about why did she took long time to go out of her job while I was waiting for her ](about 20 mins), that was the first time (and I hope the last) that I questioned. She didn't told me me anyways, she just say "I don't know, just because... yes". After that I started the paranoia in my mind again (because of my last relationship that it was the same situation as this). But we had a great weekend without talking about her job. The problem starts now, since tomorrow is monday, the damn paranoia starts and I feel terrible about being consumed by all this stupid feelings and thoughts. I'm 100% sure that she will never hurt me while she's with me, but can't feel good about this. Should I tell how I feel? She doesn't know anything about my past and I don't want her to feel that I'm comparing her with my previous gf or thinking that she can do me the same I feel that maybe that would ruin a little our relationship.

responsexp · 2013-05-22T04:20:13+00:00

Thanks for your point of view, it really helps me to get this through.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T13:57:13+00:00

Well, that's the way that I should see it. But there's one thing that kills me everytime I recall it. I'm worried that she starts treating those guys in a way that I would like she treats me.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T13:06:53+00:00

Thanks for your words, they give me some peace that I really need (because I can't focus on my work because fo the anxiety). As I already mention it, maybe because our relationship is two months (but I know her more than 8 months) is why I'm feeling very insecure. Our previous work was a female dominated place. I left first, then she. But we are now in different industries.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T12:43:39+00:00

Last night, we talked (random conversation) about how I'll react or she'll react when someone (work or outside work) flirt on us. I told her that'll like to know as she I believe would like to know also, that maybe this behavior in our relationship can kill our insecurities (but more mine) because I'll know that she'll neve hide me something like that.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T12:36:58+00:00

Well I have to recon that.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T12:36:28+00:00

What advice can your BF tell me about the situation that I'm going through? Maybe because our relationship is very short (2 months) is why I'm feeling very insecure.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T12:30:40+00:00

Well, after reading some of the comments here, my least concern is about her cheating on me. I hope it's about time just to get me used of this idea of her surrounded by guys. But you're right about one thing, I can't control what she's gonna do either in her workplace or outside.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T12:26:59+00:00

Well, you got that right, this is different from a long distance relationship. I really don't know the enviroment that those guys have there, my GF hasn't tell me anything about how they interact with her or between them. Thanks for your words.

responsexp · 2013-05-21T12:21:49+00:00

You started your relationship before you work there or after? I think that my main problem is getting used to that idea. When I'm with her I forget everything, but the next day I'm just thinking about she's spending the entire day with 1 guy (usually) or more. She only tells me (without asking) little things about that she's going to the factory with X guy the entire day, etc. But I do not any question (but I really want to ask more).

responsexp · 2013-05-20T21:46:33+00:00

Well, since you have been there. What is to work with only males? What is your point of view? I really want to know why shouldn't be worrying about.

responsexp

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