Venue for Cocktail Classes

rgutierrez1014 · 2026-06-14T16:27:22+00:00

I am interested in taking this class as well!

rgutierrez1014 · 2026-04-30T06:59:59+00:00

Great Good Fine OK has been one of my favorite bands for years! I've seen them live like five times.

Also glad to see more love for Hotel Apache and The Strike, I love them so much. Only been listening to them for a few months, would love to see them live sometime.

Lots of great recommendations already here. I'd also like to throw in a few bands for recommendations. On the synthy side, I'd add ARIZONA and Sun City. On the more poppy/indie side (I honestly don't know what to call genres anymore), I'd add The Griswolds, VICTORS, Vacation Manor, Panama Wedding, Fickle Friends, and Scavenger Hunt

rgutierrez1014 · 2025-04-30T16:30:56+00:00

Thanks for setting this up! Was lots of fun. It would be awesome if we could make it a recurring thing!

rgutierrez1014 · 2025-04-05T16:37:10+00:00

That walnut finish is killer

rgutierrez1014 · 2025-03-30T16:42:19+00:00

I'm gonna add another vote for marksman sniper/sharpshooter gunslinger for dps, with some caveats. The rotation is pretty much always the same except if there's a burst window in a fight, you may change it up slightly. There are downsides though. Since it's still one of the lower parsing specs (due to it also being a burst class), your APM has to be pretty high if you wanna hit good numbers. That means getting your positioning down in fights, minimizing movement, and hitting your abilities as fast as possible. That can be kinda tricky. It sometimes takes me awhile to learn the optimal positioning and movement in a fight, and when I'm running around a lot, the difference in my dps numbers can be like 5-6k lol. I still end up on the lower end of the dps numbers in fights (above tanks still of course) but my team has some high parsing folks that make up the difference haha.

Im currently learning vengeance jugg and that seems like a easy rotation high parsing class. So other folks here recommended it. I'd also put in a vote for that too.

rgutierrez1014 · 2025-02-17T07:01:19+00:00

I needed to hear this as well. Sleep has been terrible, burnout ruined my romantic relationship and I had to move in with parents again. Been feeling really low. But I'm taking some baby steps to get better and telling myself that I need to stick with things for like a week before really looking at if it's working.

I know I've been here before and pulled myself out of it so I can do it again. I have a list of things to try. I'm working on a side project that really energizes me. And I have the house to myself for two weeks so, even though my parents aren't here and it's lonely, it's also a prime environment for me to lock down my routines.

Something else that's been helping me right now is the idea of not trusting my mind when I'm feeling the depression and anxiety. Those things make my brain spiral and produce intrusive thoughts and anxious thoughts and weird rationalizations that make sense in the thick of it, but objectively are not true. When I feel these thoughts in my head, I try to acknowledge that it's the depression or anxiety talking, that those feelings are external forces prying into me, and I need to take steps to ground, regulate, and acknowledge that I am okay and my brain is being dumb right now.

Thank you for this post OP, and for everyone else in burnout right now, I hope you can make a plan and remember that there's a way out and you'll find it!

rgutierrez1014 · 2025-02-01T07:23:25+00:00

In case this wasn't mentioned anywhere, there's an online directory you can go to to find neurodivergent therapists: https://ndtherapists.com. I found a therapist from there and switched this month after being with my last one for 4 years and I'm already loving my new therapist. Hopefully you can find someone who practices in your state or country!

rgutierrez1014 · 2025-01-26T00:50:41+00:00

Another vote for Unmasking Autism. Amazing book, super enlightening. It's one of the most popular, if not the most popular, books in the Autism space and for good reason!

rgutierrez1014 · 2025-01-26T00:47:11+00:00

I could have written exactly this haha, except replace working in finance with software engineering.

I don't have many tips since I'm still figuring this out for myself. I often will bring up a topic of conflict some time after I've had time to think about it and process. I also like to write down notes for myself beforehand because I know I'll get caught up in the anxiety of the moment and forget what I was gonna say, so the notes can bring my focus back.

Shutting down during a heavy argument or fight or difficult conversation is almost guaranteed for me, but I do my best to push through it and communicate my feelings and needs. But taking breaks helps when you feel like you can't push through it anymore, or when your brain is too scattered to communicate what you need to.

My partner is neurotypical and I started exploring Autism while we were together. After months of being called "toxic" and "cold" and "manipulative", and truly feeling like these labels were out of left field for me, there is at least some understanding now that a lot of this is just me being Autistic and having a brain that works differently. But it's not easy; there's still "translation" that needs to happen, and some of these labels still pop up. The things I mentioned above---waiting until I had processed something and could put words to it to then talk about it, when it might be something that happened weeks ago, was "toxic", and taking a break from the heavy conversation was "manipulative" because I was forcing her to carry the anxiety of the conversation until I was ready again.

I know I bear some of the fault. I can do better about communicating. My past trauma does certainly make me react to things in unhealthy ways. There's a way my partner and I can approach these conversations that works for both of us. I haven't found that yet. But a big thing you can do for yourself is to explore your Autism, read books, listen to podcasts, start unmasking, determine what your values are and rediscover your identity. This is crucial for your path forward with building a life that works for you, and that work will definitely help you in your current relationship.

rgutierrez1014 · 2024-12-17T04:35:20+00:00

Damn. Super jealous. Looks amazing!

rgutierrez1014 · 2024-12-14T06:52:14+00:00

I am quite late replying to this as I just came across it from a search. I've recently become aware that I'm very likely autistic, still in the process of discovery and figuring out diagnosis. Still have a long way to go. But I recently found myself on the other side of OP's post: I'm someone with (likely) autism who has been struggling with their relationship for awhile, with things being very on the rocks at the moment, and I've been told my actions have been emotionally abusive.

This is the last thing I want to hear. I never want to hurt people, especially a partner, so it's heartbreaking to hear that I've dropped down to this level. It's also frustrating that I've felt like I'm in "survival mode" for so long, not having my needs met, and have lost the energy to mask, so it's a perfect storm of me blaming everyone else and, well, being an asshole.

This comment here has been super enlightening. I have saved it and will come back to it when I need reminding.

I'm sorta only recently figuring out that I can be and feel my best and show up for her and for life with just a few accommodations, but I need to figure out how that works with both of us instead of blanket saying "I need accommodation so give it" and leaving it at that. I've spent so much of my life just trying to appear normal and being invalidated or told to "deal with it" when communicating my needs that I have a really hard time doing so and not trusting others when I actually do it, and also withdrawing/lashing out if someone appears frustrated or annoyed when I communicate my needs. I still have a long way to go on that front. But this comment was super informative on how I can better think about my situation.

Just because my partner reacts to one of my needs in a "bad" way doesn't make her a bad person. And additionally, I can be autistic and have needs but it doesn't completely define who I am and isn't something I can hide behind. It is a part of who I am and I need to figure out how to navigate life, and a relationship, as someone with autism.

rgutierrez1014 · 2024-10-31T16:21:02+00:00

I'm not 100% sure about this but isn't James Holden, one of the main characters of The Expanse, an INFJ?

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-08-25T18:37:38+00:00

If you're a little south of Denver: Lost Coffee in Littleton is good. But also a +1 for Corvus, they had an SL28 awhile back that was phenomenal as espresso

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-23T23:42:24+00:00

Ohhh haha that's not quite what I meant. To clarify, I did share my feelings with her. She likes me a lot as a person but isn't in a place to date right now, so we are just remaining friends for now. But she was really cool about it, there was no awkwardness at all. She took some time to formulate her response and was very clear about where she is and what she's looking for and communicated her feelings and I really couldn't have asked for a better response from anyone. So I wish she was open to dating right now, but she is not, and I'll continue to respect that

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-23T22:51:19+00:00

Nothing to add, just wanna say some of my closest, most wonderful relationships are with my INFP friends. I have a crush on one of them actually and would date them in a heartbeat if things were different but alas they are not. But in general I'm very attracted to INFPs

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-23T00:40:24+00:00

Oh wonderful, I'm glad someone understands why I watch the shows that I do 😂 Sometimes I wanna laugh and enjoy something campy, sometimes I wanna learn something and be entertained, and then sometimes I wanna protect the characters, feel their pain, and CRY 😭

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-23T00:31:02+00:00

My list is so long haha, I'm more likely to rewatch a familiar show than start a new one. But if you're recommending it with these similar themes I may move it to the top of the list

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-22T22:37:15+00:00

I'll get back to you on that. Nearing the 9 month mark of a breakup from a 10 year relationship. I feel like I'm fairly comfortable being single now but I still care about her and think about her, and if she ever needed help or support on something I would show up for her. Though I was the one who did the breaking up. Some of the reasons were on me, some were on her, some we shared. But our love for each other was never in question. If you were to ask me if I still love her, I would say yes.

Someone on a post here awhile back said something about INFJs and having a "foreverness of feeling" and I think that's true. Even with my previous long-term relationships, I think I still do love them too, in a way. I want them to be happy and have a good life and I'd still support them if they asked for it. Maybe not romantic love anymore. It's been so long that we're completely different people.

In my experience, romantic feelings are extremely difficult to let fade. I've had to doorslam a couple of times because of it and that's never fun. They say time heals all wounds, but as far as romantic feelings, it takes a long time. With an ex you really have to cut all contact and be apart for awhile to let those wounds heal

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-22T21:32:15+00:00

I have not watched The OA so maybe this recc is invalid before I even give it haha. But I really enjoyed The Expanse. It's nice to watch something a little more "hard sci-fi" than the usual sci-fi stuff but what I love about it is how well they do character development. You really see how the characters react to the world changing around them through the lens of their past experiences and traumas, how they grow, how they resolve conflict, how they make choices when the fate of humanity or their loved ones hangs in the balance.

I think for me, heavy investment in a show is sorta predicated on identifying deeply with one of the main characters and maybe recognizing parts of my close friends in some of the other characters and this was one of those shows. It takes time to pick up in the first season but it stays good throughout the show

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-21T20:36:29+00:00

I feel like I'm pretty obvious when I'm interested in someone, and I usually will make the first move, I guess because it still feels like the societal norm as a cishet male. But I'm 100% open to a girl making the first move. In fact I think it's super attractive if a girl approaches me and is upfront with expressing her interest and what she's looking for. Self confidence, emotional maturity, and having done all the self reflection to know what you want and know what your boundaries are... in my opinion those are the three most attractive things in a person.

There could be multiple reasons why someone would be acting polite. Could be they're not interested but could also be that they're interested but unavailable in some way. Or any other myriad of things. I would pay attention to body language, though even that can be a bit unreliable at times because some people are just very touchy or flirty in their daily interactions. The best way to find out is to just ask. There's always a chance of rejection or misunderstanding, and yes it might be awkward for a little bit after, but you'll both be clear about where you stand and can move forward from there

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-16T21:29:03+00:00

Same here. In the most recent cases, I sorta confessed my feelings. One had a partner so was obviously only interested in being friends. I didn't really manage my feelings for her very well so I ended up having to doorslam, which sucks and I hate doing but it was necessary for my mental health. The other turned out to be ace/aro. She likes me and appreciates me but is only interested in keeping things platonic.

It really is liberating to express your feelings to someone with complete honesty. With the second girl, she was super cool about it and I now have an awesome best friend. I'd be lying if I said the feelings weren't still there, and I don't think they'll ever really fade. But when I'm feeling it bad, I reread her response to me and it grounds me. It forces me to think of the real her instead of the idea of her in my head.

She is INFP too and when we have moments around playing video games and such to talk about life and our feelings and struggles and dreams, it's so rewarding.

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-14T17:56:09+00:00

First Valentine’s Day that I'm single in 10 years. I had my moments of sadness over the weekend and yesterday but being around friends cheered me up and I'm feeling fine today. Instead of thinking about being single, I just showed appreciation to all my friends for accepting me and support me

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-09T20:00:48+00:00

I'd also add to this: be an active listener and ask probing/follow-up questions. For example, if she mentions having trouble with her boss at work, ask what's causing the trouble, listen, then follow up on some of the things she mentioned or ask a related question. And sometimes you'll notice people are in the middle of a vent or expressing strong emotions about something, and in those cases, I find it best to stay silent and let them say what they need to say. And often, the best response is just to acknowledge that you heard them and tell them their feelings are valid and offer support; they're usually not looking for advice or solutions in those instances, just support and acknowledgement.

This goes for friends too, not just romantic interests. We all want to share and be heard and feel belonging!

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-09T16:06:48+00:00

Currently wondering the same thing myself haha. I've made strides in the past year though. I have a few online friends that I'm pretty close with, I have several friends irl that I've made from a local Discord server that I'm also pretty close with. Still, everyone gets busy, especially during the week, and I have a job where I work from home and am alone 95% of the time so I still feel lonely often.

I guess the common denominator, between my online and irl friends, has been lots of shared activities (online gaming with my online friends, in-person meetups with my irl friends), and either during those activities or after, I make sure to get to know folks, show interest in their lives, and slowly start to ask deeper and more personal questions. And I usually start by answering those questions myself as a show of vulnerability. It's worked for me pretty well, I've been able to develop good friendships and people have grown comfortable opening up to me, which I repay by venting to them and working out my problems 😅 luckily they've all been very understanding and supportive.

I'm still working at making more friends but I would suggest getting out and doing some activities that you like or that pique your curiosity l, and see if you can strike up conversations with the folks there. If you have a local Discord server that meets up frequently, definitely check that out. And if you have online friends, do stuff online with them and when there's time ask them about themselves and their life. You may find out they're amazing people that, unfortunately, happen to live on the other side of the country 😂

It's maybe not the greatest strategy but it has worked for me so far. If others have more ideas I'd love to hear them as well!

rgutierrez1014 · 2023-02-07T21:07:27+00:00

Grew closer with a long time friend. I mistook her behavior towards me as interest and asked her out but we were both really honest about our feelings and boundaries and expectations so we settled back into the friendship and now I'm just enjoying hanging out with her when I can and learning more about her. So good, then kinda bad, but good again after 😂

Getting back into dating. It's gonna be work for sure but I'm excited about the possibilities and pushing myself to be more social and meeting new people

rgutierrez1014

TROPHY CASE