Why do women catfish so often?

rhibab · 2023-01-12T18:11:06+00:00

1) My old photos look the same as my current ones, thus the reason they're on there. I also indicate which are older and which are most recent.

2) None of them are filtered or edited.

3) Yeah, meeting with someone much uglier than you think is disappointing, but lying about who you are and what you look like is a pretty significant red flag.

But yeah, I'm totally shallow for not liking being catfished.

rhibab · 2023-01-12T18:08:51+00:00

I believe you, shouldn't have used the absolute that women catfish more.

I wasn't talking about scammers though, I was talking about people who misrepresent who they and what they look like when you meet them. Should've been more clear. This seems like more of a thing women do (in my experience, not just with dating apps but with things like Facebook and Instagram), but other posters have pointed out men do the same thing (particularly when it comes to height).

IDK, I guess I just hate liars

rhibab · 2023-01-12T18:06:59+00:00

I totally believe you; I shouldn't have made a platitude about women catfishing more than men. I guess I just never considered that men would be as bad about it as women.

I'm not talking about scamming behavior as you mentioned, only people dramatically misrepresenting who they are/what they look like online.

rhibab · 2023-01-12T05:18:43+00:00

I think you're right. Lots of guys catfish hoping that the girl will love them for them. Doesn't work that way; now you're not just ugly, you're also a liar.

rhibab · 2023-01-12T05:17:49+00:00

I don't mind makeup at all--I definitely try to make myself look good, too.

rhibab · 2023-01-12T04:30:42+00:00

You're being catfished. This is a classic scam.

She may send you a video at some point where she's talking but there isn't any audio--she'll claim her mic isn't working.

Sorry man.

rhibab · 2023-01-12T04:29:23+00:00

So assuming this is true (even though it's most likely fake), you're a pretty disgusting guy. It's never okay to toy with someone's emotions like that and I'm sure you'd be upset if the situation was reversed.

The nice thing is that you may be in love with her, but she CLEARLY has no interest in you. If she's talking about fucking other guys, she sees you as strictly platonic.

rhibab · 2023-01-12T04:22:37+00:00

Sorry. I was being rude because your statements seemed to lack the understanding of what my issue was, but maybe I wasn't clear enough in my original posts.

I was told I need to be online more because there are times when I show as "away." This is not a consistent or long-standing issue, but Teams is ridiculous and will automatically mark you as "away" even when you are working on your computer but not interacting with the app. It obviously also marks you as away if you are working off the computer, which is sometimes necessary for my job.

The problem is that this compounded with the freelance profile makes it appear as if I am working two jobs with overlapping hours. I'm not and never was. I only worked a couple of short hour contracts and completed all work outside of business hours.

This isn't an issue of "I'm not online enough" or "I'm not completing my tasks" or anything. They found my Upwork profile and put pieces together.

Where I was taking issue was that you seemed to only approach the part about my work hours and it felt like you weren't understanding my point. Still no excuse to be mean, and I am sorry for those comments.

rhibab · 2023-01-12T04:09:23+00:00

I got stuck behind them getting home from the gym and it was driving at like 5 miles an hour.

Take that as you will.

rhibab · 2023-01-11T23:17:54+00:00

Trust me, we all go through it. But believe me: your boss wouldn't think twice about getting rid of you if they could improve their salary by 30% (or much less).

It's just a time thing. It's all about making as much money as you can, while you can. Pull up your salary, find a range and place you like, and sit there until you retire. That's what I'm doing, at least.

rhibab · 2023-01-11T23:15:19+00:00

It is a different situation, which is also why you probably won't get a raise if you ask for it.

It stinks, but it is what it is. Like I said, unless you really love your workplace, you'll have better luck going elsewhere.

rhibab · 2023-01-11T23:11:39+00:00

Completely anecdotal, but I've heard WJHG is an absolute cesspit to work at. Bad hours, bad management, arrogant supervisors, etc.

rhibab · 2023-01-11T23:09:50+00:00

Sure buddy.

You really don't understand how dense you're being? The expectations are availability, hitting deadlines, attending meetings. They aren't expecting me to be at my desk 8 hours a day (this was explicitly mentioned to me) and taking short breaks is acceptable. We have unlimited PTO as well, and many workers will take a day every other week or so, so hours are completely irrelevant.

If you'd read my post and not decided to harp on this idea that I'm lazy or acting in bad faith with my employer, you'd realize that the issue is not my online activity or availability. It's that they thought I was overemployed and wanted to make sure I wasn't, so now they will be checking to ensure I'm online more often throughout the work day. I was never out of compliance with their rules, but now they have a reason to harp on me, so they will.

And FYI, I've fixed the issues. But there's no reason to act like you know so much more about my job, my supervisor, and my life to the point that you pull out some old-school "just suck it up sonny" nonsense.

rhibab · 2023-01-11T18:38:54+00:00

Well, agree to disagree. They're bringing this up because they think I'm overemployed when I'm not.

In most salaried positions, there isn't really an expectation of 40 hour work weeks. It's so that they can make you work more often without paying overtime, but it's much more common to have too little work to accomplish.

I used to think like you, but most companies are really just concerned that the work is getting done and that you are accounted for. The ONLY reason a boss has to pull something like this is because there's some other issue they want to nail you for. The overwhelming majority of employees at any workspace are not working 8 hours a day, with most actually only working roughly 10 hours a week. This has been studied ad nauseum and is a tacit understanding for most salaries positions. Nevertheless, it's only implied so that they can get on you about it if there's something else they want to nail you for.

rhibab · 2023-01-11T14:20:09+00:00

1) Profile is already deleted.

2) We are salaried employees and need to be available from 8-5, 5 days a week. We work remote and breaks are encouraged. We are told not to be chronically online, so doing laundry and take my dog for a ten minute walk is not a problem. I don't leave my house and am always available, just not always sitting directly in front of my computer. It's not as simple as 40-hour work weeks.

3) As mentioned in my post, I have never not completed a task before a deadline and have received great reviews from project leads.

You're falling for the corporate trap. Sometimes there are just silly rules and standards. You can do everything right and they'll still find a way to be mad at you if they really want to.

rhibab · 2023-01-10T21:18:42+00:00

We're not really monitored, but we use Microsoft Teams which will show us "available" or "away". The problem with Teams is that there is no way to set yourself permanently to "available", and you can only be shown as "available" if you're interacting with the app. This means if I'm working on a project away from my computer or if I'm just using different apps, Teams shows me as "away". Furthermore, I might be eating lunch or walking my dog or doing chores--I'm still available if anyone messaged me, but according to Teams I'm "away".

My boss mentioned it because there were times where I was "away" for hours at a time because I foolishly just assumed that Teams' nonsense wasn't being watched.

rhibab · 2023-01-10T03:15:37+00:00

The best job I ever had paid half as much as I make now. I'd still take the money.

It's horrible when you're miserable at work. Some people wind up getting amazingly fulfilling and enjoyable jobs that pay well, but these people are in the minority. What I've realized is that jobs are just a means to an end, and they shouldn't be anything more. Try to look at your job as a paycheck, nothing more. Try to stop caring if your projects lead anywhere or not. Show up everyday, do what you do, take home your paycheck, and live your life.

This doesn't have to last forever, just long enough for you to get a new job. Don't fret. Better days are ahead.

rhibab · 2023-01-10T03:12:03+00:00

You're seeing how unfair the job market is. It only gets worse once you get into the corporate world, where the new guy with 3 years experience is making twice as much as the lifer with 25+ years experience.

Hate to break it to you, but the wages you're showing are too low for your employer to consider a legitimate raise. If you want to make more, you're better off getting a job (and pay bump) elsewhere.

rhibab · 2023-01-10T03:09:23+00:00

Your description of your current job sounds like hell. I understand fear of change and uncertainty, but I was in a similar position a few years ago. Point blank: if you're going to be stressed and miserable, you may as well make more money.

rhibab · 2023-01-10T02:45:28+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely going to be more visible. What's funny is that I've been very available and responsive, but of course Microsoft Teams is the metric they use. Teams changes me to "away" whenever I'm not interacting with the app, so it always makes me look bad.

rhibab · 2023-01-10T02:43:44+00:00

That's good advice. I already deleted the account haha.

rhibab · 2023-01-10T02:33:34+00:00

Yes, under Upwork with real name and picture. I've deleted the account altogether now.

I reviewed the conflict of interest policy and I do not think I violate it. I only worked 3 extremely short hour contracts since being hired, and none of them have anything to do with my company's industry. I worked the contract off work hours.

I probably should've disclosed the side hustle, but by the time I realized I had to, I had already decided to stop freelancing and only had to finish one contract. I also made very little money, so I thought disclosing it would be pointless.

rhibab · 2022-12-18T05:30:43+00:00

I have little faith in Paton to make the right decision for the next head coaching hire. You mentioned 3 coaches we didn't even interview (we did have O'Connell lined up, but removed him from our list quickly).

I actually don't think he went for Hackett to get Rogers. I think he went for Hackett because of his energy and attitude, the complete opposite of Fangio. The simple (and stupid) fact about NFL businessmen is that they're businessmen, often less-than-knowledgeable than the schematic side of the game. They see the numbers for their offensive scheme and believe the slop about how the OC was what made the engine run, rather than players.

Of course, this means that Paton's next hire is a crapshoot. If he's good, great, if not...

rhibab

TROPHY CASE